He lies in bed til lunchtime and then plays on his x-box til 3 in the morning. He wont do anything for his mum and even expects his mum to do all his cooking and cleaning for him. Is the best way to get him to work to cremate him and put his ashes in an egg timer?
2006-12-03 22:16:54 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
For the information of UBBA Pom Down Under & Barry W:
I have only been with my current wife for two years.
I work a 72 hour week in all weathers.
My wife was on her own for 17 years before I met her and managed to raise 4 kids to adulthood, on her own and get a degree in psychology while working full time. She is the strongest person I have ever met.
All the other kids are fine.
My 3 natural daughters have all left home, have good jobs and, if anything, work too hard.
2006-12-04 03:31:25 · update #1
give him some kind of ultimatum; shove the want ads in h is lazy face and tell him to start looking for a job - any job...and that within a month he has to be out on his own...maybe that'll shake him up a little...if he still has no job, see if some other family members or friends will put him up for a while...he needs to realize he has to do his share...when I was growing up and had a part time job, my mom, who was divorced, had me pay her $7 a week, $1 a day as 'rent' to get me used to realizing she had it rough and that I had to contribute...it made me appreciate the nice home I had as well as the good parent she was....someone has to cut off this guy's spending money or whatever!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-03 22:21:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
talk to your wife and tell her your concerns (if she doesn't already know); but this time explain to her that regardless of whatever hard times he's been through...it's time for him to be a man. And tell her that you'd like to take things into your own hands.
Now, the solution is to get him out of the house right? But the key is to do it in such a way that there should be minimal hard feelings between the members in your household. ie: You don't want your wife to be mad at you.
So, what you should do is set him up with an apartment in another area. Somewhat close to yours (between 45-60 mins). Pay for the first 2 months rent and the first 2 weeks wirth of food and tell him that after said times, you'll give him no more money.
He should catch on that he needs to find a job, and although the first couple of months will e filled with shouting matches...in the long run the bum is out of the house.
The distance factor is critical, 45-60 mins away. It's too long just for him to come and bum around the house...but it's close enough in case there is any real emergency or if he just really wants to see his mother.
It can be expensive to set someone up for two months...$2000 at least...but think of it as a great investment towards your sanity...and his safety...lol
2006-12-03 22:29:29 · answer #2 · answered by rishi_is_awake 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
10:30 is very late for a 10 year old. I have a 14 yr old and i get her to bed by 9:30 because she gets up before 6. Doctors recommend that children should get about 10 hours of sleep a night. Push back bedtime to 9- 930. He must stay in bed quietly unless he has to goto the bathroom or there is an emergency. Let him know that if he argues - he will go to bed a half hour earlier the next night. If he is having TROUBLE going to sleep - make sure he gets plenty of exercise, no sweets or soda, tea, etc after 5 pm and maybe play a quiet relaxation tape for him If he is complaining that his friends stay up as late as they want - it's a lie - most parents have rules about that Don't give in and start yelling - just tell him to get back to bed if he gets up and the next day he goes to bed earlier You really need to nip this is the bud now because he will only get harder to handle as he becomes a teen Do not spank, lock him in the room, or let him suck you into a fight. If he shouts, then the next day he will not watch TV as punishment for waking his siblings stick to your guns good luck good luck
2016-03-13 03:13:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put your foot down, tell him he has to start paying rent and helping around the house. Give him a time limit to get a job, in the meantime give him a list of chours to complete every day.
Its you house and if he wants to remain there he does so under your rules.
Should he not want to do either, tell him he has to leave and stick to your guns.
Letting him continue to act like this is doing him no good, he should be learning skills to stand on his own two feet.
2006-12-03 22:40:59 · answer #4 · answered by benn26k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how does his mom feel about the situation? if she doesn't think there's a problem, then there's not a lot you can do about it.. however, if his mom feels the same as you do, then you two need to sit down and talk about solutions.. tell him he has to start paying rent if he wants to keep living there.. all that electricity he's using while playing his xbox isn't free either.. does he own the TV that his xbox is hooked up to? if not, take that away too.. you can't really take the xbox away if that's his, but if he's not paying for the TV or for the electricity, then he doesn't have a right to keep using them.. also tell his mom to refuse to clean or cook for him.. don't have anything to do with his stuff..
2006-12-03 22:25:30 · answer #5 · answered by Byakuya 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would do the follow:
1) tell him to go out look for a job, otherwise you will:
a) take away his x-box
b) do not feed him
c) desert him, trow him out!
about cleaning, nobody is making the mother to clean for him, needs 2 to tangle, she does the victim and he the villain; she needs to stop and let he do the cleaning.
if she can't understand or accept the point to be hard on him and thus doesn't want to tr own him out, give him a good one so he became a man instead of a stupid boy.
2006-12-03 22:27:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the result of years of bad parenting on your wifes part. You need to talk with her and set some rules for him to live there or he needs to get out. Make sure there is rent involved if he stays. Maybe you can save him from being a loser for the rest of his life. Good luck.
2006-12-03 22:22:23 · answer #7 · answered by Barry W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is only doing what he has been allowed to get away with. He needs to be put out to make his own way or he will still be there when he is 40.
2006-12-03 23:02:17 · answer #8 · answered by Label Lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i was at college, my art teacher had this problem with her kids too - so she told them that her and the kid's dad were moving to another part of the country, and that they were having to look for a smaller house, due to the high house prices, so there'd be no room for the kids to live there.... she even went to the extent of getting the house valued by some estate agents.... it sounds cruel, but it worked - her kids moved out ! (most estate agents will value your house for u free of charge!)
2006-12-03 22:24:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he sounds very spoilt and used to getting his own way, however the eggtimer although funny may affect your relationship slightly lol, can you get him a job where you work (as in cmon son time toi go to work) friendly fatherly stuff, if that dosnt work try talking to his mother mabey she will have the answer, good luk mate
2006-12-04 06:39:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋