Thank you to all who answered my last question. I do actually have sex with him willingly at least once a week, but he tries and expects it several times a day. I know the problem is not only with him, but how much is too much, and when is it appropriate for me to become discouraged? Seriously! I have discussed with him doing it only a few times a week, and he is not at all happy with that idea. I have also tried to get him to go to marriage counseling, and he won't do it. What am I to do?
2006-12-03 21:23:11 · 23 answers · asked by zander's mom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
u both share a special relationship and so that dosent means that he should take u for granted. tell him very nicely and if he dosent understand then tell him rudely that he is hurting you unknowingly and its causing problems in your married life. he should be able to understand it and if not than let me warn you if not you he will go to someone else, u never know he might be going to someone else as well, its not good for you as well. so talk to him seriously cause sooner or later u will have to face the consequences.
2006-12-03 22:19:09 · answer #1 · answered by Hidimba 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Does it not seem strange to you that you have no desire to have sex? ( based on your previous post) I would assume that his constant reference to sex is a result of being told no constntly.
I think you are confused regarding the role of marriage counseling here. They will not tell him he needs to put up with a marriage without sex. They will suggest you get some individual therapy to figure out what happened to your desire.
From a guy who has been married many years I will tell you that once a week does not do it for an active couple. The lack of input from your partner also tends to create a less than satisfying experience which leaves one wanting more. In general sex is a release thing for men and an intimacy thing for women. With you it seems that it is a lack of intimacy thing.
There are a number of reasons that this can occur, fear of pregnancy, not wanting to lose control to him or that you no longer view yourself as his wife but as a mom. From here, based on scant information, it appears that you have adopted this view of yourself as a mom with no need to include your husband.
All I can say is that you need to remember that you were part of a couple before you had Zander and may be neglecting the couple now.Where husband is concerned, he could well be feeling like there is not much connection left and is seeking to reestablish the feeling and relationship he had before you were the mom.
Every day is too much, once a week does not do it. Every day with a wife who says go ahead but offers no love in the act is wholly unfullfilling and leaves him wanting.
It sounds like you need to work on your own marriage and mother issues before you can approach his sexual ones.
People view their parenting the way they saw their parents. As a child you did not see their sexuality and rightfully so.
That does not mean it was not there. Healthy sexuality also involves more than just doing it.
I do know this, if you do not get back to being a functional couple with couple time soon you will not be one.
Get some therapy for yourself first.
2006-12-04 07:09:44 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well' it's like this. Some men have a very high sex drive. The only thing i can tell you to do is find a happy medium. Tell him you can do it once a day except when you are on your period then hands off. If he can't wait till your period is done tell him you will give him a once a day hand job. This is just my thoughts. I am sure you can work out something. By the way you should be glad that he is attracted to you and wants to feel you close to him. I know lots of women that would give there eye teeth for what you have.
2006-12-04 05:33:38 · answer #3 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He clearly has an overactive sex drive or other problem. I hope he is not a body builder or doing anything where he may be taking steroids, which can cause this. Alternatively, he may not be taking any exercise which can make certain men become anxious and look to sex as a release for this pent-up feeling. If he is pushing you too much for your comfort you must stand firm and keep pointing out when his actions are unreasonable. However, you should both also review his/your overall lifestyles and ensure that you are taking enough exercise to mitigate the daily stresses of life. You will be surprised how much better you will both be if you are fit and live an unstressed life.
2006-12-04 05:36:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You are lucky enough to have such a viagra guy. And listen any man have 10000 strokes in his whole life. You may feel tired but remember this is until you go on refusing. You start inviting him every time then you saw the results. He will run from you. Counter attack is the best safety measure. TRY it. And you will definitely defeat her. Give answer of his all the actions. and enjoy it fully.
You must thank GOD you are easily getting the thing in tremendous which
every woman will like to have to her last breath.
2006-12-04 06:59:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Believe me .. there are plenty of people that wished they had your problem. He just has a high sex drive. If you don't want to have sex as much as he does then why don't you all plan it. Or when he is trying to come on to you tell him that if he waits until whenever he won't regret it. Then he will be all excited about that one day. Make it interesting for him, like a little game. Good luck.
2006-12-04 05:26:31 · answer #6 · answered by DepthsOfMyEyes 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The two of you are going to have to figure something out!
If I were you I would be pretty happy about this. Do you not enjoy having sex with him?
As long as both of you are OK then there is never too much!
2006-12-04 05:27:56 · answer #7 · answered by konstipashen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HI - thanks for elaborating . . .
Marriage is a TWO WAY street. His expectations are too high. Maybe a hormone imbalance or just his stage in life. Try to come to some mutual ground. Maybe you are just a hottie. Maybe there are underlying issues that you need to address. Is he preparing you for his new affair?
Make some concessions, then stand your ground. Make it clear that sex is a pleasurable part of marriage, not the only part or a way to exert pressure or influence on a spouse.
(note: make him a deal that when your hormones jump when you are 40, he's gotta do it with you til it breaks off)
2006-12-04 05:35:32 · answer #8 · answered by SMichael 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What's wrong with having sex even more than once a day? I think your husband is totally normal! And he wants YOU, which is the most important thing;) many husbands go and find sex somewhere else when their wives rejects them, yours doesn't, so, doesn't that ring any bell? If you really love him, you should be willing to make love with him all day, every single day!
2006-12-04 05:28:32 · answer #9 · answered by Love_my_Cornish_Knight❤️ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are you guys? What is your lifestyle like? I need more details. Have you always been uninterested? Is he only like this with you, or do you suspect he flirts around? Sorry, if I'm being intrusive, but I think if you added some of these answers it would help others answer your question better. Good Luck! : )
2006-12-04 05:30:59 · answer #10 · answered by Basquephantom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't really answer your question, people have individual drives and the sex can be amazing and you can still not want it as much as he does. But, I do want you to remember: It may be irritating but its a compliment.. He's obviously very attracted to you and thinks your pretty good in bed as well!! And that's definitely a good thing!! So try not to get to mad at him! =)
2006-12-04 05:28:45 · answer #11 · answered by SoMuch2Give 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋