I am looking for the pro's to a breakup in family. I am doing a paper regards pros and cons. I have plenty of cons but am struggling with the pros. Thanks for the help. :-)
2006-12-03 21:03:59 · 12 answers · asked by Hope 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It depends on circumstances. If partners are continually at each other's throat, better call it a day as it makes life impossible and permeates everything in a detrimental way. The kids are brought up in an atmosphere of fear and constant unpleasantness. Friends and relatives do not know on what leg to stand on or which side to take.
If one partner is the dominant one, he or she progressively erodes the personality of the other, through disparaging or critical comments that undermine the other person's confidence. Likewise if a partner is violent.In those circumstances the victim should escape if only for self preservation.
Then there is the spouse who is constantly unfaithful. The other person suffers constant doubts, jealousy, insecurity, despair. He or she never knows what kind of infection the partner will bring home from little escapades or if the new lover is going to take over for good. Better show the erring spouse the door.
When one marries one promises to love and cherish, but if there is no longer any love, it is pretty pointless to live with someone who has come to despise you, hate your guts, or that you no longer respect.
2006-12-03 21:37:51 · answer #1 · answered by WISE OWL 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you mean like in a divorce, some pros are, most children will still survive emotionally, as long as the parents are responsible and act like adults. If they really have the child's best interest at heart. The kids could benefit from learning how other family units function...like religion, work ethics, social skills, and other ways of life. Another pro is, you sometimes get spoiled more with material things, which I believe is shallow, but hey, it's true. You may even be blessed with really cool "new family" members like grandparents and siblings and such. You asked for pros's, I wish I could think of more!
2006-12-03 21:40:59 · answer #2 · answered by lucysmom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the family member who went ahead and did the breaking then I have to say that the pros outweigh the cons. But as each case is unique then its unlikely that you will come across many pros.
From my experience it was thus.
He did not contribute to the housework but was the dirtiest, messiest person you could meet. The time I spent cleaning up after him meant I could not spend it with children. Leaving solved that.
He was not a good father, I figured that it was better that youngsters did not know what to expect from a father than to believe that what he did was acceptable and expected. Leaving solved that.
He liked and wanted to hurt family including his offspring. I figured they did not need this. Leaving solved that.
He constantly compared his family (including us) to others, and we were always left feeling inadequate. Leaving solved that.
He encouraged (by example) his offspring to be predjudiced, rebellious and obnoxious. I thought they would become better people in a different environment. Leaving solved that.
Despite all the above one of the cons that you may not have come across of is the guilt that the 'leaver' feels for breaking up the family unit.
Hope the paper goes well.
2006-12-04 01:06:14 · answer #3 · answered by intelligentbutdizzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, children can sense when they're parents are not happy together. They know when things are wrong and a lot of times feel in the middle of mom and dad. I would say a pro to that circumstance is that sometimes children get relief when they feel that they're parents are happier leading different lives maybe with someone else. It would all depend on circumstance and age. One pro would be that it could make a bigger, stronger, happier family. If everyone is mature about the situation. Good luck!
2006-12-03 21:15:23 · answer #4 · answered by ~*~A~*~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before my parents got divorced it was a real disater. I could hear them night for night fighting and my mum was very sad. It was a big relief when my parents finaly seperated.
What was nice in this time is, that i used to knock on my big brothers wall, to hear if i woke up to from the noise too. He used to knock back and i felt not alone. It put us children together, we knew that we are all worrying about the same, and that we are strong togheter.
when my dad moved out, I could sleep again during the night, without waking up and i didnt had to listening to the walkman anymore.
I was happy that i had a calm home again (a place to relax as it should be and still see my dad.
(i was ten years old when it happend)
2006-12-03 22:08:17 · answer #5 · answered by langstrumpf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The pro's.....
When my dad left our family.......we became more independent, we had always called on him for money etc (he liked to make us dependent on him, i think, .....if we didn't like our job he'd just say leave and i'll give you money), so when he went we all had to become financially independent...mum included
We also became closer as a family unit.....we were all hurt badly by my dad, his affair and secret baby (my mum and dad had been together 20 odd years and had 5 kids) so when he went we all looked out for each other more.
When our dad left we all grew up a bit too!
He done us a favour actually
2006-12-04 01:00:10 · answer #6 · answered by EMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my parents divorced when i was 14 but i dont remember any of my childhood , just the odd thing, i cant remember christmas's etc
but i have now been divorced for 6 yrs and i have found that im a very independent woman
i have 2 kids are they have grown up very well
if i had of stayed married they would have been totally messed up kids , their father was very controlling and still is
as long as the kids know they can talk to there parents then the feel safe
my kids were afraid to tell me anything because they thought i was going to tell there father .....now they know they can come to me
i dont hold any grudges to my mum or dad ... istill love them to bit
2006-12-04 01:46:53 · answer #7 · answered by cowgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
parents can argue about the right way to bring up a child they have different methods for discipline different rules which can confuse kids giving them mixed massages often kids raised by a lone parent thrive much better
2006-12-03 21:16:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In cases of domestic violence/abuse, a breakup can spare children additional trauma or injury--depending on the reaction of the abuser.
2006-12-03 22:08:31 · answer #9 · answered by silverside 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my parents broke up when i was very young and the only 'pros' that i can think of is when we used to see my dad (we lived with our mum) he used to take us on holiday and extra money spent on presents - i think it was the guilt of not being there 24/7
hope that helps
good luck with your paper
2006-12-03 21:09:21 · answer #10 · answered by D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋