Married for almost 4 yrs. We have had only minor problems so far. I'm 29. She's 23. She tells me that she "doesn't love me like that". It's more like a best friend. I have made a lot of personal progress within myself as far as dealing with my personal issues. I am trying desperately to save our marriage. I love her so much! Since she left 2 weeks ago I realize that even more. She is staying with her mother now. Mom has been divorced 3 times. My wife has been burned by numerous close relationships. Both family and friends. I think she is having commitment issues because of her own family growing up. I think this is some kind of defense mechanism that I can't seem to penetrate. I am in this marriage for better or worse. She is so pessimistic about seeing me in a different light. She doesn't seem to be sexually interested in me. I know she has not cheated on me, but I think she can't see a future for us because she has never seen it with her mom.
2006-12-03 20:19:57 · 5 answers · asked by cohrsman 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How the heck can I get her to see this without offending her? I believe that our marriage is repairable, but can't seem to get her to get on the same page. She is really enjoying her time at home (duh) with friends and family. She thinks she wants to live there. I think I need to stop calling her and give her some space. That way she will see what life would be without me. Just her and the boys. Oh, she hasn't worked at all during the marriage. I am in the military and work a 2nd job and am a very good provider (financially). I now see that our standard of living could take a hit in order for me to be at home with her and the kids more. I don't want to lose her forever. Please help me decide what to do! I don't want to make anymore mistakes and I don't want to push her. I know I can't make her love me, but I'm sure that she does deep down in her heart.
2006-12-03 20:26:28 · update #1
give her some space. she will either come back to you, or she will fly away. If she does fly, at least it won't be because you smothered her, and didn't leave her any room to work through her issues. I tried to help my ex deal with her problems that her disfunctional family put her through, and I learned that no matter how good my intentions where, I was not her thearapist, I was her partner. They don't want both. You can only work on yourself, and wasting your energy on trying to help her, even if thats the source of your problems will only generate more.
2006-12-03 21:47:28 · answer #1 · answered by ckgene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well sounds like this has nothing to do with her mother she is 23??and two kids she wants her freedom to be her sel;f go out where she wants and yes other males are involved she wants to experience more,she had kids to young and got married to young now you unfortunately have to pay the price,however in most cases give her a few years shes had all her fun and then she will want her family again
2006-12-03 20:30:24 · answer #2 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-23 15:46:08 · answer #3 · answered by mink 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she either has lost love for you, or is pushing you away. If she has lost love, there is little you can do but be yourself and through actions not words, show her that you are the one for her, her prince. If she is pushing you away, tell her that you feel that way-tell her "I know you are pushing me away and I don;t want you to, all I want to do is love you and comfort you and be there for you, I wont let u push me away so please just let me love you" Most people with commitment issues or fear of abandoonment need to to be told that the person they love is willing to fight for them, that they will be there through anything.
Good luck it sounds like your love for her is true.
2006-12-03 20:24:36 · answer #4 · answered by surfer_grl_ca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does her mother like you? I think there is something more to this. What personal issues?
2006-12-03 20:25:04 · answer #5 · answered by schmitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋