First of all I’m gay and happy. But one of my online friends is having (and has, for a couple of years) an attraction for boys. Haven’t ‘tried’ anything gay, but he is simply disgusted with being ‘gay’ and all… He wants to be heterosexual, and lead a ‘normal life’, as he put it… What is the best thing he can do to overcome this? Anything helpful will be great appreciated. Thanks!
2006-12-03 18:19:16 · 9 answers · asked by Silver 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
he can choose to "act" straight and live his life as a lie, but he will always be gay. he will never be able to surpress his desire for men, even if he doesn't act on it. most men who live this lie eventually end up leaving their wives and kids for a man or get caught cheating, either way they destroy others who share their pretend life. it's a bad idea he needs to accept himself and learn to love himself unconditionally. you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself.
2006-12-03 22:07:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tried that for a long time mate, but if you are born gay, then it would be nil. But if you became gay due to trauma, etc.. then perhaps you can check some sites that can help. A religious guy posted this yesterday:
peoplecanchange.com
But if he really can't change but still wants to be a heterosexual, I suppose he can still do that, get a great wife, have kids, live in a nice home, and keep appearances on the outside. But he will be slowly dying inside.
2006-12-03 22:40:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, sorry, but unless he wants to live with this constant turmoil in his life--he's just have to going to accept that he's gay. We've all been there and done that --and we know that it's not easy. But life doesn't always deal you the cards that you want..so you make the best of it...And being gay can be wonderful. I wouldn't want to be anything else...but if you'd asked me that 40 years ago --I would have been in your friends position.. You will probably get postings about miraculous cures,etc --through god or someone else...but in all my years I have never met anyone these worked for...it just fcuked them up worse.
2006-12-03 18:31:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs therapy... and not from one of those wacked out "change" proffesionals. He obviously has some self esteem issues and talking to someone who is not directly involved in his life may be able to provide him the right direction to start healing his self hatred. Also, continue to be there for him... and support him though this hard time he is going through. Recommend the couceling... and tell him "Remember that you're perfect... God makes no mistakes..."
2006-12-03 18:25:13 · answer #4 · answered by Whatev' Yo' 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'd better think about getting a new life then, because it just isn't going to happen. The only thing he can try is one of those ex-gay clinics, which are essentially a sham. I'd suggest he get therapy, as he's obviously not satisfied with who he is.
2006-12-03 18:22:33 · answer #5 · answered by KitsuneBoi85 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him time... He'll live his " NORMAL " life. But when he's ready he'll relive this issue. Tell him to keep pretending if he wants. Only he can really say & define what his sexuality is. Sooner or later he'll bring it to the surface.
2006-12-03 18:26:51 · answer #6 · answered by Ida 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask GOD for guidance prayer is a big help. Let the holy spirit works within you. I'm sure you will become straight man. not bi-sex nor hetero. I'm agree with enigma GOD made you perfect not mistake it's only you who made a mistake. Bi-sex or hetero can't find the love of a lifetime becuase they are not faithful. All they wanted is LUST not LOVE since they having sex of so many person.
2006-12-03 18:44:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
he is what he is and even if he gets married and has kids he will never really be happy, stop fooling around and learn to be happy being yourself.
2006-12-03 18:20:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your online friend may as well face his own truths now, as opposed to denying it for however long. cuz he won't truly be happy until he is honest with himself.
2006-12-03 18:45:34 · answer #9 · answered by Myst 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋