I need help, I cant get over my x husband. I cant move on because i compare everyone i date to him. He had so many good qualities that i feel no one can measure up to however, he was an abusive alcohlic. i just cant mentally erase the good. My x husband was actually my first boyfriend. i met him at 17. he was 22. we met at a party were everyone, including him, was drinking. he liked me because i was the only one that didnt drink, in other words, because i was so innocent and also we were very attracted to each other. i was young and dumb and immediately innfatuated. I lost my virginity to him, became completely attached and we got married. After we had a baby, he got borred and restless, went back to the bars and back to his single friends. We got a divorce after repeated abuse and neglect. he had to sides; when he was sober he was the sweetest person in the world. i need help moving on. any suggestions. i don't know why this is so hard for me...
2006-12-03 17:50:37 · 15 answers · asked by bluestar 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Think about this:
WHY DID I DIVORCE THIS MAN? Think of those reasons and stop comparing and start appreciating the quailities these other men have to offer and you will let yourself move on.
2006-12-03 20:58:02 · answer #1 · answered by LC 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ahhhh the first love. Lady, it took me about 16yrs to get over mine. Just remember the reasons you don't like him anymore and the time will go faster. The good memories sadly always seem to overpower the bad, but you will find someone you can laugh and love with everyday. Keep your head up for your child's sake, it will happen. tell that jerk to stay away from you , you have a real life to tend to!!!! Focus on your child right now. The pain does end.
2006-12-04 02:12:15 · answer #2 · answered by davidswoman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ooooh sweetie, my heart goes out to you. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. yeah, we tend to idealize anything once we don't have it anymore. I'd suggest to hold the dating for a while, until you "exorcise" him out of your system. Focus on the things that made you not stay together, and you know what? Before you even realize it and when you're least expecting it you'll meet somebody that'll rock your world. For now, relax and focus on yourself and your own life. Other things arrive by default. A big HUG for you and Good Luck!
2006-12-04 02:30:20 · answer #3 · answered by Aji 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i was in the same situation you are in now i got married when i was 17 and he was also my first. my ex husband was very abusive and controlling. when we first separated i didn't know what i was gonna do, but i finally realized that i didn't need to be with someone that treats me that way and that i deserve better. i think i finally let go of my ex when i found out that he was getting married again only 8 months after our divorce.
2006-12-04 03:16:40 · answer #4 · answered by amber s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try not to compare every guy to your ex husband and accept them for their good qualities as well. You'll find out that your ex husband is not the only good man out there. Give yourself some time, be single awhile.
2006-12-04 01:58:35 · answer #5 · answered by SimplyYoung 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is always hard to get over your first love and definately harder if you lost your virginity to them. You should find a hobby, something that you enjoy or are good at, and start putting more focus on that. Then you can meet other people who share your interests and maybe meet a nice guy who doesn't treat you like crap. Good luck! :)
2006-12-04 01:56:11 · answer #6 · answered by RockabillyBanana 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey, i know is hard cause you still love him...
i just found out that my husband was cheating on me with a younger women, but i decided to give him a second chance because i still love him and no matter how many times i tell myself that i hate him, deep inside i know that i will never hate him cause my love for him is so huge, he was my first and i have being with him for 12 years and have 2 kids. i know that is not the same situation but the point is that you will never get over him because you love him and you always will... good luck!!!
2006-12-04 02:02:28 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
persuade him to stop drinling if you see him in the future and tell him how much you love him.if not, walk away frm him as he needs to learn how to show respect to women.remember,your life partner only nr=eeds to argue(only when angry) with you but not hurt you.who knows that man could be having an affair with someone to.so cheer up.find someone deasent and who would love you like anything else.a husband should only argue with his wife and then patch up later quiklyonce the anger is gone.tats a healthy relationship!!!!
2006-12-04 02:46:37 · answer #8 · answered by tom cruise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First loves are always hard to give up. Try and find another who has his good qualities and in time the longing will fade.
2006-12-04 02:11:07 · answer #9 · answered by silverman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember, he chose alchol over love. He didnt love you enough to chose you over alchol, when you gave him your virginity. Don't be silly. It is one thing for a bachelor to binge, but when rescued by love, and he didnt take it in the best situation, according to Scholar's Law, he is liable to be punished by the Sergeant Major who set the two of you up.
2006-12-04 02:32:15 · answer #10 · answered by Stephanie H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋