I am a divorced female and living with my boyfriend for 1 year now. From the begginning he has told me that he plans on moving away to live near his son. I know that is what he needs to do but he is not making an effort to do it. I don't want him to go but he knows that I know it's the right thing. He knows I love him but all I get from him is nothing. He is very indecisive and one minute he is making plans for us for the future (buying matching desks no marriage) and the next he is missing his son and wants to be near him. Am I a fool to stay with him and should I try to move on with my life. What to do. He is not affectionate at all. I am the one always giving the hugs and kisses. We are best friends and I would hate to lose such a friend. Confused!
2006-12-03 17:11:22 · 9 answers · asked by SkyFrost 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Figure out what you want from him. Then figure out if he is giving you that. If not, move on. There are many people out there who will appreciate what you have to offer and will be able to offer something back. It also seems to me that he should be making the decision about moving to be with his son for himself but can't, so instead, he is trying to put it onto you to make the decision for him.
Regarding the lack of hugs/kisses, people express and receive love in different ways. For you, it's physical affection. For him, it could be something different such as giving gifts, or compliments, or doing something nice for you. Or he could be trying to remain somewhat physically/emotionally removed (for your sake perhaps), if he knows he's going to move. If you need/want physical affection, tell him so and see how he responds.
2006-12-03 17:30:17 · answer #1 · answered by Trixie B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sky: You are with a terribly mixed-up guy. He has to get his life in order first - then whatever, is in the stars for you can come. Until that time, it would be a very wise, (however, painful) move on your part, to break off the relationship. It's not fair to you for him to be standing between two decisions like he is. Move on with your life and "chalk" it all up to experience - this is an utter waste of your time. You want a mature man to be wedded to not an emotionally immature guy. Good luck too you "sky".
2006-12-03 17:25:53 · answer #2 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure its really his son he wants to move closer to and not someone else. You'd be amazed what some people do. Okay, yes I have trust issues but you would to if you knew my story. All I am saying is don't be blind to the little indications and ask questions. You might not want to hear the answer but its better to know now than to discover down the road. Good Luck!
2006-12-03 17:28:10 · answer #3 · answered by alicebeaching 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ooh my dear, I think because of bad (or sth) experience U had before U r in a kind of misunderstanding about Love and Ur Relationship with others
take care of Urself and try to start a new life immprove Ur confidence and try to find Ur Way and target in life
2006-12-03 17:28:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it not you that confuse you know what you want he doesn't i think you need to move on with your life because he is just going to do the same thing day after day in less you do some thing to change the pattern in your relationship then he going have to decide either you or his son give him a choice and dont back down no matter how much it hurt
2006-12-03 17:16:41 · answer #5 · answered by little_bear 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The question for you is "how long do you wait for someone else to decide what to do with THEIR life"?
Should your life be on hold while he decides what course of action to take in his own life?
Does he want you to go with him?
Is he saying that it's you or his son?
Why can't he have both of you?
You say he isn't affectionate, is that something that you can deal with forever?
Don't be confused, take charge!
2006-12-03 17:17:26 · answer #6 · answered by negrito con sabor 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
couldn't u compromise? live near his son part of the year and where u are the rest? then he wouldn't miss his son as much and u could still be with him. also some men just aren't affectionate no matter how hard we try to make em be. they just arent
2006-12-03 17:16:34 · answer #7 · answered by lilmisspriss 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YOu, my dear, need to get into a therapist, to see why you are tolerating all the double messages, and why you would allow yourslef to be in this sort of no win situation. It appears you chose to lose, and that must be reversed.
2006-12-03 17:14:00 · answer #8 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
u are totally into him but he isnt. he cant differentiate what's more important, his son/u
2006-12-03 22:34:54 · answer #9 · answered by starapproximate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋