I'm a healthy 26 year old male. I am in a relationship with a woman who I have been with for almost 5 yrs, have a child with and have another one on the way. I feel very fortunate for this. Here's my issue. She has a condition called endomitiosis. In a very small nutshell, it causes pain and discomfort in the woman's sexual anatomy. I love her very much and try not to impose on her very often. However, being I have a healthy libido, I become very conflicted within myself. (I have a strong urge to, but will feel badly if I do, so I either am not fufilled or end up having unfufilling sex due to a huge amount of guilt.) I try to understand her feelings too. (She wants to, but doesn't want to because of fear and discomfort, so she ends up feeling unfufilled and guilty as well.) I have researched this topic and I am well aware of the procedure involved to combat this condition. I also know that due to her pregnacy she will be less likely to want sexual interaction. Any input please.
2006-12-03 16:50:14 · 14 answers · asked by Moose 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have this and sex was very painful. I take birth control pills to keep it under control. This works for some women. Others may need stronger hormones to control it or surgery. Pregnancy generally puts the symptoms in remission while pregnant. The sooner she gets this treated and under control the better. Scarring from it can also lead to infertility. By the way, you sound like a great guy!
2006-12-03 16:53:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure that's even the case?
It's not possible to 100% tell if a woman has endometriosis, the best you can do is guess, unless they physically open her up for surgery and then they can tell that that's what it is.
If so, then there's pretty much nothing you can do besides have surgery to get rid of the condition, which is expensive and invasive.
I would suggest finding a way that is physically comfortable for you both, whether it's oral, anal, mutual masterbation, or whatever, because patience when it comes to unfulfilling sex can only last so long and you'll eventually start taking it out on each other.
Also, pregnancy doesn't necessarily kill a woman's libido. I think a lot of women use that as an excuse. When I was pregnant with my first child, my libido was through the roof. I tired HIM out...
2006-12-03 16:59:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tough situation. I was in the same situation myself many years ago with my first wife. Even after she had the surgery to correct it there was discomfort. I would never suggest cheating if that is what you are asking. I would suggest other forms of satisfying your needs with her a part of it. If she truly loves you she would be happy to do what ever it takes to make this work. At the same time you should be willing to do the same for her. There is always a way around the situation if you BOTH want it without either of you feeling guilty.
2006-12-03 16:59:35 · answer #3 · answered by badBrad97 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like you really want to stay with her, and I applaud that you are not putting your libido before your relationship.
It sounds like both of you would be happiest if you put a lot of energy toward getting her the operation/treatment she needs to try to cure the problem.
Meanwhile, can the two of you do the things that are sexually satisfying but not involving penetration? That is, if orgasms without penetration don't hurt her? Or what about (sorry to be indelicate here) in her bottom? I don't know whether or not endometriosis only hurts if you enter her vaginally.
2006-12-03 16:58:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to both go to a Dr. and ask for advice here this can be a serious thing that will sooner or later take a toll on your wonderful relationship-I so commend you for even taking the time to send out the question your wife is very lucky to have you
God Bless you on the birth of your new baby and all that the medical advice helps too
2006-12-03 16:55:10 · answer #5 · answered by skizzle-d-wizzle 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i have endometriosis, and it does make intercourse very painful at times. Just please be patient with her, after the baby, yes she can have surgery, but please remember that it's scar tissue you're dealing with and what happens when you have surgery? More scar tissue. I'll be having my 4th surgery w/in a two year period next month because of this. Once you start it's a constant uphill battle, a strong support system is what she needs, do everything you can to make her not feel guilty,please her first! Help her take her mind off of it! Good Luck and congrats on the baby!
2006-12-03 16:57:05 · answer #6 · answered by justadream 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find other ways that don't involve vaginal sex (or be slower, more gentle, etc), and discuss with her her feelings about what she wants to do, surgerywise or otherwise, after you are finished having children.
I think birth control pills can make endometriosis less of a problem, too, but you probably know this.
2006-12-03 16:55:33 · answer #7 · answered by sarcastro1976 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have endomitriosis too.I had two surgeries and used med. called clomed to stop or make it go away.Nothing really helped.After having my second child,the pain and discomfort got better.Still sex can be uncomfortable.Try with different positions.Compromise her while she is pregnant.
2006-12-03 17:02:16 · answer #8 · answered by avavu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to pleasure each other without penetration. (a good back rub may be all the pleasure she wants right now, but that doesn't mean she can't look for ways to provide sexual pleasure to you).
Meanwhile, get medical help.
2006-12-03 16:58:51 · answer #9 · answered by aprilfool108 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take an antidepressant until she gets her condition under control. You should have no problem getting a prescription considering your situation and the pill will take away your sex drive until you stop taking it.
2006-12-03 16:54:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋