my husband cheated on me with a younger women...this made me feel like a old used rag......we have been married for two years...and i forgave him.....i'm just not feeling like we are the same people we used to be....When we first got married everything was great and REGULAR if you know what i mean.....i am 21 and he is 27....the younger woman was 18..... we just recently had a child....could this have something to do with us not connecting any more? and if so, how can we reconnect and get things back to where they need to be?
ps-councling didn't work for us.....she kept blaming his mother for his cheating ways.....need different suggestions! Asap
2006-12-03 16:46:54 · 14 answers · asked by YourBaby3 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was in the same situation, at the same age as you...married 3 years, we had a 2 year old daughter... The best advice I can give you is, if he is really devoted to making it work and turning himself around...trust him. Period. As hard as it seems at this point...that's the only way you'll be able to get things back to "normal". Otherwise he'll constantly be stand-offish and you'll constantly be worrying why. I put my full faith and trust into my husband changing his ways, and it's been 3 years now since that time and I couldn't ask for a better marriage or a better husband and father to our now two children (i just had our second 6 weeks ago). Best of luck!!
2006-12-03 16:54:30 · answer #1 · answered by MACmommy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can see what she means. When you 1st start dating someone everything's new and you never know what might happen next. When you get to know someone well it get be boring. Every night is probably always the same routine right? Just think of the things you 2 did when you 1st got together. Do you still do those things now? If not maybe start doing some of the same activities that were so fun at 1st. You could plan a weekend getaway and not tell her til that day. Even a little motel near your house with a pool. Buy some champagne and food and have it in the room for when you both get there. No one's ever done anything like that for me b4 but I would really love it! You could have some flowers there too or even a little gift. Something that you know she'll like. You could try just randomly taking her out to dinner on a week night. Just little stuff like that so she'll know you care.
2016-03-13 03:10:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your: Try going back to Counselling once, again. There are Counsellors out there , who have A's on the Final Exam and there are those who had C's. You picked a D !!! Your husband has violated your trust. When trust is violated, love crumbles !!! You are experiencing typical feelings for a married woman who has been cheated on ! Too bad you have a child with this nomad or I would of suggested that you send him packing off to his 18 year old. Did he actually think that he was going to get away with it ? Well; for what is still salvageable in the marriage, you can try getting a more competent Counsellor for starters. Does he realize, that you harbour these feelings of mistrust and feel like an "old, used rag" ? !!! He will have to earn your trust ... and this trust will have to be built, as he earns it with TIME. I hate it when guys cheat on their wives with a baby or children on the scene. Good luck to you !!!
2006-12-03 17:11:51 · answer #3 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl, you are young as the new girl is.. if she was young you were also young. she's just a teenager but you are as young as her. and don't be bothered about that. your husband might just want to taste new flavor other than you. Yeah right, you should forgive him. it's his first time anyway.. unless he has done it a million times and just go back pleading for forgiveness.
As for rekindle, I think you're both are still warm to each other and fire was still set ablaze. As long as you are still sweet with each other I believed there is nothing to rekindle at all. I believed your husband loved you so much. Maybe the girl was just a B**** and that wasn't completely your husband's fault. his a man you know...
Just do the usual thing that made him marry you...I think that would be the best to keep him for youself.and continue to do the things that you thought he loved you for...
I hope that helps
2006-12-03 17:00:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow.......gave this advice earlier tonight......trust is the issue.....you can only earn so much trust. The last piece you have to give as a gift.
I myself could never get past it but I know others have managed to. I can't help you with that but I will say a new baby will change things for a while. I had to get ok with myself and after I did that I began going out with the girls and doing things to fill my time and when he realized I was not just a new mom and I still had something others seem to think was worth the time......he began to clame what was his again...Good Luck......
2006-12-03 17:03:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know about the women, but as for the men, once a cheater always a cheater. And you have small children?????
Kick that jackass to the curb, and go find a real man next time.
2006-12-03 16:49:36 · answer #6 · answered by johngolfs2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey ... you only been married 2 yrs and he's cheatin'? ... I know it's always easy to say ... but ... leave his sorry a*s ...
Yeah Yeah ... you love him and thats why you forgave him ... but you'll always be wonderin' where he is or who he's with ... that's no way to live your life ... I'm sure you deserve better :)
And some councellors tell you just any crap to keep you comin' back .... find a man that wants to be with you and who wants the responsibility of bein' a dad .... he's 27? ... time he grew up
Good Luck
2006-12-03 16:53:04 · answer #7 · answered by deadkelly_1 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Move on sister the women will just keep getting younger and younger and the longer that you stay the more of your life you are wasting. My husband of 5 years did this same thing to me and I so wish that I had those years of my life back that I had wasted on the worthless bum. If someone truly loves you they would never cheat. Good luck to you.
2006-12-03 16:51:09 · answer #8 · answered by Alisha S 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you should have left him you are young and can find some one who will love you once a cheater always a cheater you better make him wear a rubber you might catch something thats fine if you forgave him but can you really trust him only you know that and not yahoo answers
2006-12-03 16:50:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are that desperate to stay with the cheating jerk, go to a different counselor
2006-12-03 16:51:09 · answer #10 · answered by xovenusxo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋