my husbands best friend wants a baby but is divorced and 37 and not looking to start dating again, he would like to have a baby with me and at birth take all perental rights over. i just wonder how that might make my husband feel because as of now he says he is fine with it but i am not sure.
2006-12-03 16:44:16 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
my husband and i already have a son and are not really planing on having another
2006-12-03 16:48:56 · update #1
they are like brothers and yes that would mean me having sex with him (but i would not like that part of it) we feel we are doing hime a hug favor and if he were to go to an egg donor and get an egg and then get a surraget it would cost him about 70,000 to have a baby
2006-12-03 16:51:38 · update #2
This would be very nice of you to help him with...
But I would advise to get some counseling...
I mean, you're going to be caring this child for 9 months, don't you think you'll get attached. If you do this could cause even worse problems between you and your husband...
If this is your husbands best friend youre going to see the child often... and so will he...
There's a lot to think of...
2006-12-03 16:58:35 · answer #1 · answered by Estrella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy is abusing your husband not to mention your marriage. What a self centered idiot!.Just how would you feel if your girlfriend decided to have a kid with your husband? Anytime you share your body with another person, it is lasting. A relationship develops that will last forever. Why do this horrible thing?. If the guy wants a baby, he needs to adopt one that already exists. He may even eventually date again. Who are you? Santa Claus? Let him go elsewhere. It is strange why your husband thinks it is fine. Maybe he does not value you as much as he should. Do you want to take the chance to push his feelings over the edge and lose him altogether?
2006-12-04 00:53:37 · answer #2 · answered by PZ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All of you need to do more thinking on this with a counselor. This is no easy decision. All of you need to know just what is involved. Can you really give up your child to someone else? And don't have sex with another man. Artificially is best way to go if this is what all of you decide.. Adoption is still a good option. This kind of thing destroys friendships and marriages and the child's life.
2006-12-04 01:14:09 · answer #3 · answered by vennie s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, Angela doesn't know it all ! You never said how you would feel, giving up your baby, and then being in the position to keep seeing him or her, since it is with your husband's best friend.
Have you two had children of your own? There is a lot to consider, and the first I would recommend some type of counseling to cover a lot of issues ( like how is the fertilization going to take place? ). Good luck working it all out, and if all the pieces fall into place, you will be giving him an amazing gift.
2006-12-04 00:53:52 · answer #4 · answered by Lola 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
think it out..being a surrogate mother can be difficult.... (and yeah it is going to be artificial rite?)
but if u think u can cope wit it emotionally, and ur husband too can go through it then there should not be a problem. But also remember that you are going to stay in close proximity to the child, and might get those maternal pangs. I worry abt the child coz it might b difficult to explain the arrangement to him...
2006-12-04 00:52:40 · answer #5 · answered by danny's mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi
i think your husbands frends is having wrong idea.
i think he is interested in you and wanted to hav sex.
why dont he try for another woman and get a baby.
if you hav sex with him , i am sure the the trust with your husband wil break and it will affect the family relation.
if your husbands frend hav sex with you once , then he wil
ask for it more times. so do you want to spoil yourself.
ask him to get out of there. he may be brother to your husband.
but it doesnt mean that they can exploit the relationship.
i wish you all tbe best.
lins
2006-12-04 01:28:21 · answer #6 · answered by dracu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all tell me what "perental rights" are. Secondly tell your husbands friend to go find his own woman. Sex with a man outside of your marriage is called adultery.
2006-12-04 00:47:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You all sound like you are completely nuts. Either that or you are joking! And if your husband is okay with this then I would leave straight away as he really must not care a lot for you.
2006-12-04 00:50:32 · answer #8 · answered by auburn 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mom went through this same situation when she was 29 or so. My dads' really good friend asked if he would allow my mom to have his baby. My mom agreed. But my dad wasn't so sure. So he "forgot" to use a condom one day...and nine months later, along came my littlest sister. My mom always says she's grateful she didn't go through with it.
You need to go with your heart. Do you really want to have someone else's baby? You need to do some more research. Check out parenting facts. You'll notice that most kids don't do so well with single fathers. Is he willing to make this extreme life change? Look into this. Don't rush into it.
2006-12-04 00:49:26 · answer #9 · answered by mlove1307 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Be careful. You and your husband might end up wanting to keep the baby. Your scenario lends itself to a whole host of disasterous outcomes....
2006-12-04 00:48:56 · answer #10 · answered by Christy K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋