How can I learn how to dance (well) with a woman in a typical club situation?

Question

I've tried. A lot. I thought I was doing okay for myself, but my girlfriend made fun of me when we went out last night.

It seems that any time someone asks this question, there are six responses. "Feel the music" and "just have rhythm" aren't working... I'm a musician. I feel the music and have rhythm. Really. That didn't keep my girlfriend from making fun of my dancing. Also, "just do what feels right" doesn't work either. I did that, and I, like lots of other people, got mocked for it.

"Watch what other people do" doesn't work... I spent years doing that. All I learned was that guys either look around and bounce slightly, or try to dry-hump women without permission. "Take a class" doesn't work either, as I have an unpredictable schedule. And finally, all the instructional videos I've found online tend to be one-person, look-at-me performance hip-hop.

I just want to know what to do when a girl drags me onto the dance floor. Ideally, I'd like them to say I'm a good dancer.

Help?

Answer 1

Two things: even though you are a musician, you need to teach your muscles to move to mucis. It is one thing to be ablto to hear and understand the rhythm and make your fingers or hands play the instrument according to it. It is completely different to make your whole body move to it. I had a partner at one point who was a jazz musician. But he was a beginner dancer (just like myself at the time). Every time I'd say we were off time, he was terribly offended. Well, I didn't know any better how to say it. When we took our dancing to a good dance intructor, and this instructor said "Bill you are off time" he said "I can't be off-time, I understand music really well" Teacher responded "Yes, I see that you understand it, however, you are not moving your body, feet and arms to it"

As a corollary, second thing: You need *constructive* criticism. It may be coming from a teacher or from a dance partner. You need feedback, this is why instructional vidoes don't do it for you. I don't know what example to use, but let me try. I have Salsa in mind. If somebody says "You're dancing funny" that does nothing. If somebody says "You move your butt in a funny way" that's a little better but still not good enough. If somebody says "Hip movement looks better if you drop your hip as you step, rather than swinging it from left to righ" that may be already something you can work with. You can either apply it or ask further questions, like "Do you mean I swing my butt ? What do you mean by dropping my hip?" This is why you should try learning with an instructor or with a friend who's an experienced dancer. If people can't provide constructive criticizm - don't get offended, they just don't know how to teach dancing. Ask someone else.

I'd say, take some private lessons. You can take them one at a time, on "as-needed" basis (do not sign up for a block of lessons!). Instructor will work around your schedule.

Answer 2

All good dancers are trained. There's no such thing as a good "natural" dancer. Take a few lessons, and don't limit yourself. There are some basic principles that cross genres; that is, ballroom lessons will help with salsa dancing, for instance. And private lessons can be scheduled to fit your hours (not to mention the other obvious advantages compared to group classes). Another advantage is that you'll gain insight into what makes music more danceable, and that will help make your music more saleable.

Answer 3

dancers who smile and are apparently enjoying the dance really bring on the charm factor.. so smile lots.. it's always a joy to see dancers who are having fun on the dance floor

have you tried practising in front of a mirror? check out your grooves and make sure you like what you see in the reflection
if that doesn't work, and you want it (badly) enough..
make time for dance classes -
learning'll likely to be more effective with hands on expert advice and feedback on your moves and grooves

perhaps clarify with your girlfriend - what was it that she found funny.. was it an expression, a particular action?

maybe you are really doing okay and it was just playful teasing, let her know if it bothers you

Answer 4

you should not worry so much about it if a girl drags you onto the dance floor is because she likes you, we do not look at boys because they are super dancers is because they are cute, is very silly from your girl friend make fun of you, even if she was the best dancer in the world, take it easy, I live in Venezuela and people say I dance so good but when I dance I just forget about people around me and move, that is because I enjoy. so relax and give it time

Answer 5

O.K. You need a partner who will work with you and give you helpful tips. You have to feel comfortable when you hit the dance floor. And you can't do that when you're being harpooned every step of the way. If your girlfriend can't play nice then tell her to bite one. A true friend understands.

Answer 6

Find out hoe they dance at that location, then use an instructor that has experience with that type of dance. Add some extra polish and go for it.

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong in asking your girlfriend to help you out. She should love to teach you how to dance instead of making fun of you. Ask her kindly and see how she responds. Good Luck to you.

Answer 8

watch music video, ya some of the moves aren't practical in a club setting but its a good start, then just play some music and practice, by yourself. you'll get it

Answer 9

go up to her and say, "baby did you fart? cause you blow me away!" it will work EVERY time. dumbass