My husband is moving to GA in Jan and I am staying behind. I have lived in CA all my life (my family is here) He is originally from Iowa. He took the job offer out there without talking to me about it. He has had so much control in my life that I guess he thought I would just go. We own a mobile home and I don't know whether I should buy him out (30,000) ??? But my MAIN question is, I'll be filing paperwork for divorce so that he doesn't screw me over. (we've gone through the process before and he almost got away with the mobile and 60,000. He will be served papers. HOW DO I MAKE IT A CIVIL CHRISTMAS??? WHAT CAN i DO? I am holding christmas at our home and I know all hell is going to break loss when he realizes I'm divorcing him when he gets served. Please help!
2006-12-03 16:43:01 · 17 answers · asked by cottontail34@sbcglobal.net 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stand your ground. If he doesn't like it tell him he should not have taken the job without talking to you first. Explain that you will not stay married to someone on the other side of the US. It's Christmas so do not fight no matter how much he wants to.
2006-12-03 16:49:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow I'm sorry that you are dealing with this around the hollidays! You really need to do what you feel in your heart you need to do and trust your gut. If you think that you can hold off until after Christmas without getting yourself screwed over then I would try to hold it off even though it may be really hard to pretend everthing is ok. If you can't hold off then you have to do what you have to do. I know it may be pretty hard with Christmas around the corner but remember you will have many other holidays in your life time to enjoy. Its just another stepping stone you have to go through and you will come out stronger than before. You have to remember YOU COME FIRST. And if you aren't putting yourself first then who will??? Its good to see that you are leaving the relationship because NO ONE should have that much control over your life and not consulting you with his decision on moving is a BIG NO NO!! So good for you on what you are doing for yourself, keep strong and the best of luck to you hun!
2006-12-03 17:00:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You better wait till day after Christmas. It is not like he does not know something is wrong. He just never bothered to work on your marriage. If marriage counseling has not worked, and this is a well though out decision, wait till day after. You are right about the uproar. But keep your distance from him. Don't lead him on. Try to make him realize after this, there is no hope for anything other then friendship . I am not sure if even this is possible. And if he says something about the timing just explain you just did not want a battle on Christmas day as you did on here.It won't be easy. You know this.
Hope you have good friends to help you through this. You will need it. God bless. And good luck. Sorry things did not work out. But you know in your heart things are not right. Keep your courage to follow through no matter how hard. Hope you can regain your own peace of mind.
I like your thoughts to buy his share of your current home.
2006-12-03 16:58:57 · answer #3 · answered by vennie s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think, first and foremost, you should take the notion of a civil christmas out of yuor head. If you're serving him papers before christmas it's bound do get a rise out of him. With that in your mind, you can prepare for it, it will make a bit easier. Can the papers be delivered on a day which won't be as significant and sentimental as christmas eve, christmas day, new years ever and new years day? It's bound to happen, so just ready yourself and maybe if possible, ready the attendents of your house over the holidays? I'm sure they'll understand. Good luck.
2006-12-03 16:50:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think of it quite is going to pay that the two one in all you bypass to a marriage counselor to handle your problems. a minimum of this might initiate up open verbal substitute and to totally include your changes with the intention to make certain what desires to be performed along with your marriage. If mediation does not artwork and your changes have not been taken care of out, then the two one in all you may make certain besides the fact that if to break up or no longer. Intervention from dad and mom isn't a sparkling reason at the back of divorcing, so don't sense such as you're a bad person from doing this. Your husband must additionally understand which you're his spouse and it quite is needed now be his precedence in existence. additionally, think of of the infants. Will they earnings from the the two one in all you quarreling and being passive aggressive for all time, or could they be extra comfortable in a concern the place the two one in all you're separated? those are issues you may weigh in in the past making a determination. I recommend that, worst comprises worse, communicate to your criminal professional approximately divorce, tell your husband and plan needed movements to avert added argument, and tell your infants which you will break up, you will nevertheless love them besides, and that it's not their fault.
2016-10-17 16:32:02 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see where you have suitable grounds for a divorce. I am sure that if you work and took a better job in another state, then you would expect him to move with you. Go with him. It might be the best move you ever made.
Hey be nice and at least wait til after Christmas. Is there children envolved? if so then it would ruin their Christmas. You must be very insecure. filing for a divorce everytime your husband wants to get a better job. Get real. Love him and try moving with him and see how it goes.
2006-12-03 16:54:21 · answer #6 · answered by bro_ken128 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, since the papers are already in route to being served, hold off Christmas. In fact get some of those family members (men ) and tell him to get to steppin.
2006-12-03 16:51:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your the one being selfish and controlling, don't be vindictive, wait till after Christmas. I think your doing this to just hurt him and pay him back for what you think was a bad marriage. Revenge will only come back and bite you in the azz,
2006-12-03 17:04:24 · answer #8 · answered by Mother of 2 girls 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know him best...
think about how an when.
also make sure there are family an close friends around just to back you up in case you need it.
but it's not their affair so make sure to tell them not to interfere and or fight and argue so much.. just be support.
because you don't want hell breaking loose..
so...
~shrugs~
good luck....
kudos on taking your life into your own handz...
wish you well an many happy holidayz.
2006-12-03 16:52:17 · answer #9 · answered by Aaliyah Morales 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're really not going to be able to make it civil if he doesn't want the divorce. I'm sorry but it's not going to happen.
2006-12-03 16:47:53 · answer #10 · answered by Stephanie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋