Hi my name is tiffany and 2 years ago i was raped and i did not tell any one besides my friend/ cousin and this year i finally told my mom and i was 14 at the time and he was 19 and i dont knoe how old his friend was .. I feel scared and bad because it was 2 years ago and i dont want tto send no one to jail but my family is making me and the trial is tomarro :( and i have my friend i told there as a witness but some how my ex boyfriend who used to tto live on my street but i moved is a witness for him and i am creeped out about that?!?! how is he in this ??? I dont know if i still want to catrry on with the case so what should i do please help me i have only 8 hrs ...
2006-12-03 16:24:39 · 21 answers · asked by Tiffany C 2 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Well consider yourself lucky in the first place thats its going to court. mine is still in the process and its been 6 years.. take it all off your shoulders hun. It couldnt be worse than what you went through. go in there with a positive attitude and it will all be over b4 u know it! God Bless You
2006-12-03 16:27:53 · answer #1 · answered by Wow! I have a pig nose! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a lot of problems with your question. I'm trying very hard to remember your still a child and cut you some slack but its not easy. At your age you should know better. You stated that you don't want to send any one to jail. So if you let him go, then he is out on the street where he can rape again. What if you found out your not the first person he raped, but the other victims also did not want to send any one to jail so that made him available to rape you? How would you feel about those girls? If you don't put him in jail what would you say to his next victim? "Sorry hun but I didn't feel like dealing with it so he gets to have another victim". What if the next person he rapes is your friend/cousine? Are you Ok with that?
The only reason that has any logic to it that I can think of for you to feel bad about sending a rapist to jail is if he didn't really rape you and your making a false complaint.
I have 4 daughters. Don't you dare let a rapist loose. I know your young and this is an ugly way to have to grow up. But for the sake of women every where, stand up, find your spine, and put him away.
Your parents are doing the right thing by making you do this. Its no different than when they require you to eat you dinner before desert, or put your clothes away, or do your homework. They are teaching you the right thing to do. The right thing to do is seldom the easiest thing to do. The kind of person you will grow up to be will be deffined by the choices you make, or failed to make. Don't fail. Failure is something you will have to live with for the rest of your life. Success is much more fun.
2006-12-04 02:12:46 · answer #2 · answered by john d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy may or may not go to jail, depending on the outcome of the case. However, if he did rape you then he should go to jail. If you said no or were unwilling, that is rape in every way. Since you were 14 and he was 19, it is still statutory rape. He shouldn't have been messing around with someone so much younger than himself and it is his own fault. The thing is, don't feel guilty about it. Statistics show that if a guy rapes one girl, he has or will rape more. You don't want this to happen to someone else do you? So, about your ex b/f being there ... He may be there as a character witness to say "he's a good guy, he wouldn't do this" or as an alibi "no, he was with me when she said the rape occurred" or to even say "no, I was there and that didn't happen like that." As far as the case, your mom can press charges even if you don't want her to because you're a minor. You can't do anything about it, sorry. You can request to not have to testify, to just give a written statement or something if you want. Just go and try to be as honest as possible and whatever happens, just know you aren't doing anything wrong and you really can't do anything about it anyway.
2006-12-03 16:35:37 · answer #3 · answered by Heather-Nicolle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that the case is oen there is nothing you an do about it, remember that. Just relax. No matter what happens you still have people in your life you can talk to. Just believe in yourself and try to relax. Take your time on the stand if you testify. It will help you to give a full and accurate testimony and get things over with quickly. Think of yourself as brave for standing up for yourself like this. Hundreds of women are raped every month and never report it or participate in the resolution. Going to court can seem scary but just have confidence and you will be fine.
2006-12-03 17:57:17 · answer #4 · answered by famousevan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i suspect this question is phony but will answer it anyway because i may be wrong, and it certainly wouldn't be the first time. If you were raped why would you be going to jail? if someone is telling you that you will go to jail they are lying to you, if someone is telling you that if you do not testify you will go to jail THEY ARE LYING TO YOU if you do NOT want to testify against the accused you do NOT HAVE to . some women cannot go thru the stress of a trial and that is WOMEN. For a 12 year old it must be pure hell and fear and not just fear of the accused,there could be fear of or from your parents and pressure they are putting on you, and there's the prosecutorsand their ulterior motive of wanting to make their legal career points. sweetheart get on the phone and call a rape crisis center now and talk to them and tell them what is going on, see if they can get someone to come to court with you, most crisis lines are open 24hrs a day.
2006-12-03 17:32:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a young woman of courage. Good for you!!!
You are speaking for every woman who has been raped - not only yourself.
Know that you are doing the right thing. Your ex-boyfriend's testimony is out of your hands. Put him in G-d's hands too.
Bring G-d along with you. Visualize G-d being there with you, shining his supportive, healing, guiding light down onto you and protecting you if need be. Guiding your lawyer and the judge and whoever else needs guidance.
I'll send prayers for you Tiffany. And ask everyone who reads your post to do the same.
Good luck.
2006-12-03 17:00:42 · answer #6 · answered by concernedjean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is going to be hard for you, you didn't report it to the police, and you never told your parents. you need to go through with this, because if you don't the guy will get away with it and he will do it to someone else. your boyfriend was probably called by the defense to try to make it look like you were not a virgin and that you have had sex with others, this has nothing to do with what happened to you, and you have to not let them make you feel like it was your fault. your friend will be there on your behalf. and they may call you parents to the stand as well as anyone else that can give and relevant testimony about the guy and about you. you have your family to support you and your friends so don't back down from this. you will be fine, you are just afraid of having it all brought back and that is understandable. we can not allow criminals to get by with these things, think how you would feel if you didn't do it and your little sister was raped by this guy. i think you will do great.
2006-12-04 04:16:33 · answer #7 · answered by cvgm702 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you do want to carry on with the case. What happens is that rapists and sexual predators count on young girls and women being afraid to testify against them -- so they are free to continue their perverted behavior.
Did you enjoy being raped? Is it something you want to happen to another girl? Because if you don't testify, you're setting him free to go do it again. And you know, deep in your heart, that you wouldn't wish on anyone else, what you went through.
So bolster up your courage, and be a good witness. Don't hem and haw, answer the questions frankly and honestly, and with conviction. As you were a minor, this will likely be a closed court, so only the people involved will be present - and your parents, of course.
Good luck to you -- and stay strong!
2006-12-03 16:30:24 · answer #8 · answered by old lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel guilty at all about trying to send him to prison, he committed a serious crime and should be punished. And it's okay to feel scared, it's a scary thing, but he's the one who should feel ashamed and scared, not you <3.
I would definitely advise you to carry on with the case, only 30% of rapes are ever reported to the police, but people need to report and testify to get these creeps off the streets. People rape others because they want the power, but now it's your turn to feel empowered by going to court.
Good luck with everything!! Just stay strong and you can do it! He deserves to be punished for his crime and you shouldn't feel bad at all about sending him to prison.
Good luck!! <3 <3 =)
2006-12-03 17:02:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember, what happened was not your fault. He had no right doing that to you, and what he did was wrong. He deserves to go to jail for it.
When you get cross-examined, and you will, answer the questions to the judge, not to the defense lawyer. If he tries to twist your words around, say, "No, I meant it exactly the way I said it the first time". And repeat what you said, looking at the judge. Do not look at the rapist or the defender.
If you have to cry, let the tears come, because you will do that too. Good luck, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
2006-12-03 18:32:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Truely think you should take no prisoners. Go in get it finished with and get it behind you, you dont wabt this on your back for the rest of your life. in sorry for what happened, it a dam shame that one has to go through something like that and so young. but bite the bullet, go in there and seek justice for the past two years you have had to live with it. All the best Tiffany. D
2006-12-03 16:31:34 · answer #11 · answered by devsmash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋