I've been married going on 11 Years now I feel like the only we have going for us we have Great Sex once in a while ( On a Saturday or Sunday Morning) other than that (kids) (House) (Bills) ETC... Thats IT!!
I WANT more in life what do I do??? I just Lost my job so leaving right now with christmas coming and all for (my KIDS sake) isnt an option?? what would you think if this was your life?? Love Or Not??
2006-12-03 16:01:37 · 16 answers · asked by chase 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't give up so quickly. try putting your mind in another direction okay so you lost your job. but you have a wonderful husband good sex healthy kids you have your health a roof over your head. You'll find another job. and married life isn't always roses. nothing ever is. You could be single and you have problems too running away won't fix this. You have to bring things to your marriage to change if your lacking something which you are instead of throwing in the towel be the creative wife and mother you are. Your not going to let this stop you. Many people have less than you.
For starters find out what it is that would make you happier. yes a job but perhaps a hobby you would like to get into more. or a hobby you and your husband could get into together . or do something more as a family.
Good luck and I hope your new years resolution is your going to work on this and your family and in 4 to 6 mths you'll be much happier.
Good things don't come easy you have to go after them.
they dont' land in your lap.
Good luck you can do this
2006-12-03 17:10:47 · answer #1 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all get there at some point. I recently mentioned to my husband that we never do anything together anymore. I was feeling pretty lost and wondering what we ever had in common.
He brought home a 1000 piece puzzle, brought up a nice board from the basement and we spent a few hours working on that. The next day we spent another 2 hours on it....and we were chatting about all kinds of things while we worked. It was a GREAT ideal.
I think some couple try so hard to focus on "we should be talking" and that makes too much pressure. Find a fun activity to do together.
2006-12-03 16:24:08 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get some cheese to go with that wine. Be glad you even have a husband and kids. Be glad you have any sex at all. You know the saying -- something about being all upset and complaining about having no shoes, "until I met a man with no feet."
But you're bored. What to do. Maybe you and your husband can go skydiving or white-water rafting. Make a list of what adventures you'd like to do before you die, then pick the ones that will work with your life right now.
2006-12-03 16:13:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You might want to look at everything this man has given you in life. He gave you children and is now supporting you (if you want to look at it that way in a marraige). You are prob. just going through a phase of downness as the loss of job isn't boosting any excitement.
Is he actually a bad man that you don't want to love anymore.
And I guess that is life, this is how it almost ends up for everyone. Unless your beyond wealthy and you can get everything you ever wanted. But if not look at it more positive.
2006-12-03 16:19:03 · answer #4 · answered by mke 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're really in need of a change. Maybe you should pursue a new career, or take classes at your local college or university. Find a neat hobby, or see if your significant other is willing to experiment with new types of sex. I don't think you need to think about leaving your family just yet. Maybe you just need to take a nice vacation on your own. A woman has to take care of herself first before she can be an effective mate/mother.
2006-12-03 16:06:54 · answer #5 · answered by spanishmarlena 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
eleven years may seem like a long time but it would seem longer if you spent it with a man that only gave you great sex. if it were me i would bear with it until Xmas is over and than really think about what i want to do with my life. figure out if i want to work or be a house wife for the rest of my days.
2006-12-03 16:06:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you quit thinking about yourself and think about your husband and your kids.
Because if you put more energy into thinking about your husband and his feelings, and into thinking about your kids, you would realize how good you have it.
And about losing your job, find a new one. If you feel like your missing something, go back to school and get a degree in something. My wife is in school to get her degree in Criminal Justice.
I used to be very selfish thinking only of myself and what I wanted. And where did it get me? At the doorstep of a divorce because of my selfishness, it made my wife unhappy, and thankfully we have been able to repair alot of the damage done in our marriage because we went through marriage counceling. And now we are more in love today than we were 10 years ago when we got married. What helped that the most? It was me putting my wife and her feelings and needs before my own, and she put me, and my feelings and needs before her own. We put alot of energy into each other, and because of it, we didn't have time to get selfish.
If your not happy, instead of complaining about it, sit down and talk with your husband. Marriage isn't easy, you have to work at it, marriage isn't going to be all fun and games.
Just because things are not going the way YOU want isn't a good reason to get divorced, and think about the kids. Think about what a divorce would do to the kids. They may blame themselves, because they don't understand why your getting a divorce. People say kids adjust and adapt. That is a BIG lie. Kids don't adjust. Divorce is harder on the kids I believe than the parents, because of the emotional damage that it does to the kids after a divorce.
Grow up, and quit thinking of yourself, and actually THINK about your husband and kids, and what it would do to them if you left.
2006-12-03 16:18:01 · answer #7 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i take it that there is no love in your marriage anymore. how about the children, do you love them enough to stay? how would it affect them if you left? if it were my life, i would work on bringing back some spark into my relationshp with my husband. or if that is not an option, focus on myself - pick up a hobby, pursue an interest, start a business! anything to keep myself occupied. at any rate, i would not split up because that is not what i would want for my children
2006-12-03 16:22:26 · answer #8 · answered by una g 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Me, me, me....you sound like a broken record. What do you want to be? A single mother trying to raise kids and date bums because you're bored? Maybe you want to start a singing career on American Idol. Maybe you think a prince is going to come along and shower you with gold and wisk you off to a private island. Why don't you just SHUT-UP and raise your children. When they are grown and gone you can do whatever you like with your pathetic life. I would love to hear HIS side of this story...
2006-12-03 16:13:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
start going out more with him. family vacation. Find some games or activies out of the house you like to do together. Maybe it can be rekindled. if possible talk to him about it. you were in love with him once for something besides sex before i hope.
2006-12-03 16:09:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋