My friends are talking about it, and I don't want to do it but I'm just wondering what people think..
2006-12-03 15:44:31 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Okay, I personally don't intend to have sex until I'm married... But everyone else does it without even thinking.. It's kind of disturbing,,
2006-12-03 15:54:16 · update #1
I lost my virginity 11 days before my 14th birthday.
I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready then, I wasn't ready at 15, or 16, or 17, or 18. I'm not ready now. I'm probably not going to be entirely comfortable having sex when I turn 20 this spring. I wish I'd waited, that I'd been with someone that I truly loved, someone who would be a permanent part of my life, not just a guy I thought I loved, and seemed like the best choice to lose my viriginity to.
There was a lot of pressure among my friends in middle school to have sex, to dress with body parts rather dangling out.. And I got caught up in it. I can't go back and change it, and despite wishing I'd waited for someone who deserved that part of me, I don't know if I want to go back and change it, because it's made me who I am today.
All the same, it's our choices that shape us, and mine have not always been good ones. Before you do ANYTHING like that, be sure that that is the choice you truly want to make. Be sure that that is who you want to be. I didn't think about it - I just did things, not thinking about how those choices would affect the REST OF MY LIFE, and it's too late for me. I hadn't thought about the consequences, or just how LIFE-CHANGING sex can be.
I wish, I wish so desperately for this, that someone, ANYONE could have said these things to me when I was 13 and 14. Or all through high school, even. The best I can do is to pass on the wisdom I have gained from these experiences to girls like you, and hope you will make the decision that is right for you. Because, ultimately, I can't make any decision for you - it's your life, your body, and your choice. I just want all of you girls to understand that there are consequences to nearly EVERY choice you can make, in regard to EVERYTHING.
Good luck.
2006-12-04 01:47:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all: Congratulations on the decision to wait. Solid thinking is just as much a sexual tool as the plumbing is. Plus, waiting will usually prevent pregnancy, and STD's, as well!
Now, as for the age you should be: What is the Age of Consent in your homestate? If you're under that--you are most definitely too young! Most states hold this age to be between 16 and 18. However, most girls are not emotionally, financially, or in some cases, physically ready for the pain and labor associated with pregnancy. Add this to the fact that most guys at this age have no idea what it takes to become a daddy (besides the physical act, that is), and usually run off scared when the girl announces she's pregnant, and you could be mixing a remedy for instant destruction if you have sex too early. Your friends are talking about it, right? I hope they are getting information from more than just the peer group. It sounds like, though, you have already stated that you don't want it, yet. Good for you!
2006-12-04 04:35:46 · answer #2 · answered by Mudcat007 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure how old you actually are. I would wait if I were you and don't let anyone, male or female, try to tell you when you are ready. You live with you 24/7 and you are the one that has to live with that decision.
Some of your friends that are 'doing it' now probably won't be doing it on a regular basis. I would wait until your at least out of high school. Then alot of pressure from friends subsides and by then it won't seem like such a big deal.
2006-12-04 00:25:53 · answer #3 · answered by moobiemuffin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe age has much to do with when you should have sex. Age doesn't determine your maturity level. Just because you are 21, for example, doesn't neccesarally mean you have the maturity level to know when you've had enough drinks. Just as you may be 16 or 17 and all the other girls your age are having sex, doesn't mean you too should have sex. Only you truly know yourself and only you know what your morals are. Don't let other people determine things like that, and if you don't feel ready-so be it! Anyways, in my opinion, sex is highly overrated.
2006-12-04 10:41:21 · answer #4 · answered by stolensoul23 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally I believe sex should be saved until you're married. Whatever you believe in, you should have sex when you are ready for the responsibility and with a person you care deeply for. It should be someone that you know will be there whatever happens afterwords, mind and body, between the two of you.
2006-12-03 23:54:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Doing it because other kids are is not a good reason. Love yourself and be proud that you are probably the only one in your group that can say your a virgin. Marriage should be your first time, if not at least wait till your 18. Losing your virginity is something you can't get back and something you shouldn't regret giving away.
2006-12-04 00:37:11 · answer #6 · answered by Mother of 2 girls 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ideally you should wait for marriage. Having sex changes everything about relationships, and the problem is that guys dont usually take feelings into consideration. The girl usually gets an emotional attachment and the guy a physical attachment. I dont recommend it until you are at least out of high school if you cant wait until you are married.
2006-12-03 23:54:10 · answer #7 · answered by rufi 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
WELL!! I have a 17 year old daughter, who is still a virgin too, there are one or two of her girl friends who are still virgins as well...
I will tell you as I have told her....
AS her MOM... I would like for her to wait til married...
AS a WOMAN... I would like for her to wait til at least college, I don't push the "wait til marriage thing..." because there has to be chemistry, and if you wait til marriage, and sex is a flop... you will be miserable your entire life...
in regards to your friends talking about having sex... they are also probably wishing that their virginity was somthing they could get back... but it isn't!
It is a ONCE in a lifetime thing! don't waste it on someone who isn't going to make it special for you!
hang in there girl! and I am proud of you for choosing to stay a virgin! :)
2006-12-04 08:37:17 · answer #8 · answered by Dena 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
21
2006-12-03 23:56:48 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. Strain 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I was 14. Really sad I know but I did. I wished I had waited. I ended up pregnant, and had a back alley abortion. I am now 21 with my son, and I wouldn't give him I just wish I had been older more educated so I could provide for him better. Just wait till you can at least deal with consequences. not just emotionally but monetarily.
2006-12-04 12:59:18 · answer #10 · answered by blackwidow849 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋