My son works with his father (in construction) and my ex keeps telling my son that I spend the childsupport on crack and weed. I don’t even do drugs. My son told him he was full of sh*t and I told my son, after telling him a thousand times to just ignore him on the jobsite. I don’t know how to deal with this anymore. I work my **** off, and don’t need a front row seat to more of his abuse. My ex also calls me all sorts of vile names to all of our children (some are still young), and its making them angry thus depressing them. NO, they don’t see him often, and when he actually decides to show up for visitation, all he does is put them down (their mama’s a…..their hair, their clothes, their friends). WHY do men do this to their kids? NO, there is no “talking” to this abusive alcoholic (restraining order…besides, you cant reason with him anyway).
YES I have court orders stating he is not allowed to do that, but if I take him to court again, he’ll get my son fired. HELP!! IDEAS???
2006-12-03 15:32:02 · 11 answers · asked by Yvette B yvetteb 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
alright i want to start off by saying i know just what your children are going through. My father was the very same way. he would tell my mom she would never get no where in like being 26 with 3 kids all under the age of 8, no body would ever want her, yada yada yada. My father to is an alcoholic and my whole childhood was like living in a nightmare lstenming to him and my mother fight for hours at a time over the phone. Than going there every other weekend and listening to him call my mom aweful names. My mom and I were close so it really hurt me when he would call her names like a sl*t, a who*e,a dirty crackwh*re, and so on and so forth. To this day he will call her these names and then turn around and say im just like her. At one pointe in my life my mother also had a restraining order on my dad. He is a very diffilcult person to get along with and I know just what your experiancing. Your kids need to be strong, one day they will learn what there father is really like. It may be 10 years from now or it may be tommorow but they will figure it out and when they do they will let him now. I give your son alot of credit for sticking up for him and you on the work site. I would reccomend taking him back to court and if your son looses his job that is improper dismissal so he can get the company in a lot of legal ****. Best of luck to you and your children.If ever any of you need to talk im here to listen simply ebcause i understand so much what your going through iv been through it all and it made me a stronger,better,bigger person. my email is daydreamin_ashley@yahoo.ca
best of luck
sry about the length of this its just i wanted u 2 know your not the only one going through this and that its prolly his alcohol talking most of the time when he starts his ****...hes also prolyl just jelous of you that you have ammounted to so much more then him!
2006-12-03 15:44:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men like the one your talking about are just morons. You have to do your best to ignore him.
Your son needs to start looking for a new job. I'm sure that's not the only construction company in town. Have him find the competition and get a new job.
Document everything. If you have grounds to stop visitation, do so. Your kids don't need this kind of psychological and verbal abuse. If your husband threatens to have your son fired, document that as well.
Keep in mind, getting fired from a job with an abusive father might just be the best thing for your son. Help him with his resume, help him get a better job.
Ignore your 'ex' if at all possible. Don't take the bait. Teach your kids to ignore him as well. They know the truth. And, if he gets out of line at all - call the cops on him.
Ask yourself this question, is your sons job more important than your children's safety and happiness? I say no. But you need to make that choice.
2006-12-03 15:43:03 · answer #2 · answered by bionicbookworm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first of all you said you have a court order stating "he is not
allowed to do that". Your son can always find another job somewhere else. Your son does not need to tell his father that he
is looking for another job, all he has to do is give his resume to the
employers of his choice. Then leave the job, and that's that. These kids do not need to take or hear the verbal abuse each time they see their dad. You are in control of his visitations, you
are the one who says when he can some and when he can not
come, right? If you are able take him to court to stop this madness, it has to stop for the kids sake. Think of the kids how
they feel each time he is around, think of your son each time he
has to go to work each morning. He can find another job, he does
not have to hear his dads verbal abuse everyday. He can get
away from him and start a new life with out him, everyone can.
What you need to do is record is verbal abusiveness toward
everyone so when you go to court, there will be your evidence.
Not just for yourself but your children as well.
2006-12-03 15:58:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son can get a new job and he wont have to hear that BS all the time! or maybe the next time your son should pick up 2-4 and bust his Head as a last resort or maybe just his jaw with his mouth wired shout he cant talk!! Or call his boss and tell them what he is doing he might be the one looking for a new job. If he talks bad about you at his work you might be able to sue them it something to think about!
2006-12-03 15:52:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a ridiculous situation. Your son should not be working with his abusive father. He is learning to be abusive!! Help your son find another job so he can quit and get away from daily working with his father. The majority of men do not treat their children this way.You have a bad man there. After your son finds another job, then you can enforce that court order and get that bum arrested. He sounds sick, but frankly, you and your son should be sick of him enough to get away from him.
2006-12-03 15:54:06 · answer #5 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can your son find a different job? The childish side of me wants to say wait in the bushes on him with a meat tenderizer and bash his balls until they look like cube steak. But as a parent I say take him to court because that is not promoting good mental hygiene for your children. And then bash his balls and tell your son to get HIM fired.
2006-12-03 15:38:46 · answer #6 · answered by mcbubbalicious 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The authority is his Father and so to solve this puzzle is to not have such authrority by finding another job away from the father.
2006-12-03 15:35:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If none of what he says is true, then why are you so concerned? And if you say your son doesn't believe it then why does it bother you? It won't stop, probably because he is right, he wouldn't tell your kids that stuff if he didn't have a reason to.
2006-12-03 15:41:03 · answer #8 · answered by squirt 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Well if your son is old enough to work then he can learn to ignore him....let him say whatever he wants....your ex is making himself look like an ***_
2006-12-03 15:35:07 · answer #9 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you need to do what is best for your kids and get rid of him
2006-12-03 15:38:09 · answer #10 · answered by sumer h 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋