My friend has Depression?

Question

Okay , i have a friend who has depression badly. She also has something else that starts with a i , i dont know how to spell it but its really bad. Its in her familys histroy but she cuts herself. Not on the wrists , on the arms , shoulders , Last week she cut the world love in her skin , I spent the night there one night and saw the blade she does it with. I grabed it and yelled at her because 4 days before she had said she had broken it. I slapped her across the arm the week before when she had cut her self while we were walking down teh street. , iN PUBLIC SHE PULLED IT OUT AND CUT HERSELF , im sorry but she needs to stop , do you have any cures you know off , Shes kind of emo , but i worry bout her. How do i make her stop!!

Answer 1

Straight off, your friend is lucky that she has you. The fact that she is letting you know a secret about mutilating herself indicates that she trusts you. The mutilation shames her, although it eases her suffering on some level. Sharing this information with you is an indication that she not only trusts you, but also that she is reaching out for help.

Your friend may discuss this with you in a nonchalant and perhaps even aggressive manner, but I assure you that somewhere she feels very small and badly hurt, powerless and out of control.

I am not a therapist, but I can tell you that she suffers exquisite interior pain and the control that she exerts through cutting herself gives her a comfort level with her internal suffering.

The only way in which you can help her is to support her emotionally, and trying to encourage her to seek professional help. Perhaps she could approach a worker at a homeless women's shelter (she wouldn't have to be resident to get some immediate assistance), a worker with street youth (again, she wouldn't have to be living in a hostel or on the streets), or, if she is young enough, someone in authority at her school: a sympathetic teacher or guidance officer. In addition, any professional who works with addictive behaviour or with children of alcoholic/drug addicted parents would be able to refer valuable resources to your friend.

You can offer to go with her or to get her some information, but the responsibility to get the help is completely her own. Do not let her make you feel guilty or limited about something which you cannot control.

Now, just about you: It is wonderful and generous for you to care so deeply about your friend, but you must protect yourself. If you've ever flown, you know that during that very boring safety video at the beginning of the flight they always tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first. There's a reason for that, and it is this: If you are floundering and gasping yourself, there is no possible way that you can help anyone else.

You have to eat well and sleep well and keep your own strength up, and you must also establish boundaries with your friend. (And, by the way, once you establish a boundary it is bound to be tested, so watch for that.) You can provide a list of names and referrals, and set reasonable limits for when your friend can and cannot call you. Wherever you live, there will be some kind of emergency assistance, a distress line or a samaritan line, that she can call instead of calling you at inappropriate times or for inappropriate periods of time.

Please never, ever, grab at her blade again. You can't stop her and you could, with all due respect to your friend, expose yourself to some nasty injuries or some very nasty infections.

If it gets worse, and it's already bad enough, call your local police on a public pay phone or on a TIPS programme (where your information is completely anonymous), tell them what you've said here, and they can make arrangements for your friend to have a 72-hour warrant to be in a psychiatric ward. If your friend is quite young, a call to the local children's protective society will accomplish the same thing. I know that even reading that will make you feel like a rat, but you will be helping to save a life.

And I must say this: If this is you, yourself, that you're writing about, I admire your courage. Please remember that there really are people who love you and care about you and want only the best for you. If that guess was wrong, I apologize.

In any event, I think you have a lot of courage and I hope I've been helpful, and that it works out in the end.

Peace be with you.

Answer 2

Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..

But now with the method I can fully focus my energy and thoughts into a decisive line on how to make my life better constantly. And it works like magic! I'm beginning to attract people to me once again and things have just been looking up since then.

Helping you eliminate depression?

Answer 3

Some people have trouble dealing with the pain of real life and cut themselves because its a physical pain they can deal with. You can't cure her, she needs to see help. There are various medications. All you can do is be a good friend to her and be there for her when she needs a shoulder to lean on. Sorry about your friend, its tough knowing what to do.

Answer 4

She needs to be encouraged to seek mental help from a professional. All you can do is tell her you're worried about her. You can listen if she wants to confide in you, but you aren't able to give her the expert help she obviously needs.

Does her family know about this? If you can tell them, it would be doing her a great favor (even if she gets angry about it!).

Answer 5

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Answer 6

tell her you love her no matter what but she needs to stop. Take her blade away from her and break it. no good comes from it,