A woman had an affair with my husband 14 years ago,we became friends because the affair produced a child.She married.Her husband left her once they divorced she re married him a month or so later.Her husband left her again.Her and I didn't have much contact however we spoke and the kids new on another.She contacted me asking about my husband and how her daughter want to know her Dad.That's never been an issue.How ever my husband and her got together an she got pregnant again!!After 13 years. Once she got pregnant she wants nothing to do with him.She got pregnant purposefully.She has two adult children(she had them when she wa 14 and 15 years old from a relationship back in the day.She has always had a reputation for sleeping with other womens men.Now she has a 1 year old by my husband.She goes to Church and calls herself a christian.I thinks she crazy and I can't get the situation out of my mind.People just just do things like that.What do you think?
2006-12-03 14:28:30 · 21 answers · asked by Frankly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Correction I'm divorced from him.I just still have a lot of anger.She lives 1 block away. I guess I should have asked How can two adults be so uncaring about other peoples feels. And act as if it's nothing. I'm not a revengeful person.And i want to teach my sons not to ever be like that.
2006-12-03 15:09:58 · update #1
Correction I'm divorced from him.I just still have a lot of anger.She lives 1 block away. I guess I should have asked How can two adults be so uncaring about other peoples feels. And act as if it's nothing. I'm not a revengeful person.And i want to teach my sons not to ever be like that?
2006-12-03 15:10:54 · update #2
you should make sure your husband ends up with her. it sounds to me like they're made for each other. as for you, better to start a new life without a husband like him and a friend like her.
2006-12-03 14:36:04 · answer #1 · answered by Bubuchachum 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The lady didn't wrong you, hon, your husband did. If he weren't a willing partner, she could never have had his child...It takes two to tango, and temptation is everywhere, all the time... evolution made us that way. So don't blame her, hon, you have a guy in your life who has no morals, and has given you the ulitimate betrayal -- adultery....probably more times that you even were told, or could even think... Marriage is admiration, respect, passion, trust, with a whole lot of tenderness, support, and care tossed in. When the trust is gone, the rest of it is eroded as well. You haven't had a real marriage since this guy first betrayed you after you were married. You, and he need some counseling to find out why firstly you accept betrayal so readily, and secondly, why he so readily strays.... (What kind of homes were each of you raised in anyway!!!)you really don't have a marriage hon,you have a roommate who lives with you, fathers your and other women's children, and who has no idea what it is live to be in a loving, supportative relationship.... sorry for all of you. Revenge? for what? Against whom? And why? Against a woman who slept with your husband and produced 2 children? What ARE you thinking???
2006-12-03 14:54:06 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am with the others, forget about going after her for revenge. But from your other post that you have, I guess you are going to get rid of him after all. At least that is what I hope you was over there in singles for and asking how to meet someone when you live in a small town. That is a good move to make. But don't start dating any one else until after you get your divorce. You sure don't want a name like him and her does, that is for sure.
2006-12-03 15:15:39 · answer #3 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
holding onto revenge will affect your life, u will stay in the bitterness, and be tied to the two of them forever if u don't forgive them. forgivenss isn't about letting them off the hook, it's about u getting free of it so u can go on with your life. u can't get the situation out of your mind, because u expect him to be sorry, but he never will be as he lives by a different set of morals and rules than u do. don't focus on this woman, or what she did to u, let god be her judge, as we have no right to judge, give it up to him, and just forget about it. this was not your falt, this happened because your husband had no character, and he made some bad choices that devistated u. u will not be able to move past this until u quit expecting anything more from this man, not even that he is sorry. this has hurt your self worth, but this had nothing to do with u, this is about him, and his choices in life. she may have gotten pregnant on purpose, but u have no control over her, or what she does, she hurt u, and didn't care that this was your man. we must forgive, it all begins with that, if we refuse we will be tied to those that hurt us forever. it will affect how we think, how we feel about ourselves, our self worth, and in general it will affect our future when we meet the next person in our life. so forgive, get some help working through this, revenge never hurts anyone but the person who is seeking it.
2006-12-03 15:24:50 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband was not an innocent bystander in all of this so you need to be tremendously angry at him as well as at this woman. Obviously, you are not married to a man who honors the vows that the two of you made together. I would get "both" of them out of my life, except for child-visitation privileges which are rightfully due to your husband.
Your husband and the woman are bad news!!!
2006-12-03 14:40:35 · answer #5 · answered by Bethany 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OMG! Are YOU crazy? Revenge on her would be the last thought! She is a sl ut and "your" guy isn't yours he is a cheater. Pack his crap and address it to her address and pay movers to take it there while he is at work. (Provided he works). File for a divorce and go take some classes and make some friends in hope beyond hope that you will find your backbone! Your revenge will be getting rid of the cheat.
2006-12-03 14:35:14 · answer #6 · answered by JULIE J 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Do not go for Revenge. Revenge will cause you to have anger, which will only hurt you in that you feel bad.
I recommend that you forgive her. Forgiving her by the way does nothing for her. If you forgive her , you will no longer have anger and you will free of hurt and anger.
Why do you think that she goes to church for and calls her self a christian. It is because she knows she is guilty.
the only true reason why anyone goes to church is because of guilt, they think if they ask a so called god that, that is what will help her. so forgive her and move on with your life.
2006-12-03 14:43:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Run as fast as you can from both of them. Shut them out of your life. The greatest revenge is moving away from a sick situation and bettering your own life. Fighting and carrying on with either of them is futile and beneath you. Have the grace to walk away and make a nice healthy life for yourself ..without the two of them in it.
2006-12-03 14:37:07 · answer #8 · answered by Just Me 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think she is the smallest half of your problem. Your husband is the biggest problem you have.
You sound like you are placing the blame all on her. Hell, your husband made a conscious decision to cheat, cheating is a selfish choice, not an accident.
He can deflect guilt and blame by saying it was her, it was booze, or anything else. Its all BS....
Trying to seek revenge is only going to make you hurt more and will accomplish nothing
2006-12-03 14:33:41 · answer #9 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
It looks like you already have two crazies, 'why make it three? Your husband obviously doesn't care, so why should you? The only person upset seems to be you. Drop the loser and move on! Life's too short to have that kind of drama......
2006-12-03 14:34:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋