I need help.my wife is having a hard time dealing with not being with her family on christmas eve.?

Question

she has 8 siblings and none want to get together on christmas eve this year. what I need is some advice on something to do on xmas eve. we have 2 kids 18 year old and a 9 year old

Answer 1

I know how she feels. I don't get to spend christmas eve with my family either. It is so hard because although you love the new family you have you miss out on being home with parents and siblings. I know my immediate family are all getting together at my sisters house on x-mas eve and they spend time eating and singing. My neices will be playing the piano and my brother will have his guitar out. Lot's of laughter and such I too will miss this so much. So I know it will be hard for her. What I do now for the past 10 years (been away from my family for 22) Our own family. My husband and our son 24 and now daughter-in-law 24.
Our daughter now 18 every Christmas eve we have our own tradition of going ice skating at city hall. Then we go home and do fondues. We set up about 5 of them and we fondue chocolate, beef, chicken each year we try and vary it up. Preparing this is half the fun. We play pictonary, blindfolded and have friends over and drink till midnight open 1 present each. We have been doing this for 10 years now and I know when our kids move away they are going to miss this time as well. So we try hard to start our own traditions with them.

Answer 2

Start a new tradition! Try to keep upbeat... sounds flaky; but a positive attitude helps!

What were your childhood Christmas Eve's/Christmas' like? If they provide you with good memories -- borrow from them. What is your heritage? Are there old folk customs that you could start? Are you religious or want to go to church? Most churches have beautiful Christmas Eve services with all or portions in candlelight. If staying home is too depressing, what about a vacation?

Let me give you some examples:

My Grandma is Swedish -- so on the years I can go to her house (I'm married so some holidays must be spent with my husband's family) we have an old-fashioned Swedish Christmas Eve. Grandma makes a ham and homemade Swedish Rye Bread and we have "Dip In The Pot" (this is where you dip bread and pieces of ham in the juices it cooked in. Then we open gifts, one at a time so A) it goes slower and B) everyone can see what everyone gets! After that, we dance around the Christmas Tree! Yes, it sounds hokey and some years - between you and me - it *is* hokey. But at the same time it's cool because this is what my Grandma and her family and *her* Grandma and family did. We hang out for awhile, then we go to midnight services at my Grandma's church. I seem to only attend church on Christmas Eve; but I must admit, it's a beautiful festive service. After church, we have porridge (whoever gets the cinnamon stick will get married next) (my Aunt has been getting it every year since 1990 to no avail!) and we have fruit soup, Bundust and crackers. Oh, the whole evening we are sipping on Glogg which is an awesome traditional drink made from wine, port, vodka, rum, whiskey and dried fruit! Wow! Then, if we got some games we'll sit around and play them. We usually get home around 3am or so.

Christmas Day is spent with my Mom and Dad and it's a totally NON-structured day. We get up, open gifts and then sometime during the day we have a big turkey dinner.

Now, this year, we aren't going back to Grandma's and my Mom was pretty upset. So, my husband and I are giving my parents a trip to Paris for Christmas. I realize that we are very very lucky to be able to do this (thank God for frequent flier miles!!!). We're all leaving on the 16'th, renting an apartment, going to decorate it and get a tree -- the whole nine yards -- and then returning Christmas Eve, late. Then on Christmas Day we're spending our traditional day together.

It's a sad situation you are in; but make the most of it. Start a new tradition that you, your wife and kids (and maybe grand-kids & great grandkids) will cherish! Play your favorite games, cook your favorite foods and celebrate!

Answer 3

Start making new traditions, pick up some fresh veggies, cook a ham, and whatever you all like, sitting around watching your favorite videos, laughing and remembering old times.

We have started doing that the past few years. The first year was the hardest, but now it comes easier, less stress, and a lot more fun. We remember old times, sometimes we pull out the old photo album and go down memory lane. And, I cook some of our favorite dishes, always enough that we have plenty of left-overs for Christmas Day, allowing us to enjoy Christmas Day even more, because we just munch out of the refrigerator on the ham, shrimp, and veggies cooked the night before.

Hope this helps and Merry Christmas!

Answer 4

Tell her that she can always call each one and wish them a merry Christmas. Remind her that she has her own family that wants her to be with them both physically and mentally so she shouldn't stress over her siblings. After all, 8 is a large number to coordinate. Additionally, the 18 year old probably won't be around for too many Christmases after this, so it will be nice to keep it just the four of you this year.

Answer 5

So have your own christmas. Make breakfast and have a nice family breakfast and then open presents and just spend the day together playing with all your new toys.

Answer 6

drive around and look at x-mas light displays.
go to outdoor nativity scenes.
go to midnite mass or a church service.
bake cookies all of you together in the kitchen.
sing songs around the piano
or do karaoke x-mas songs at home.
go out for a nice dinner.
tell her "we have our own family now."
"we create our own traditions"
"we can invent our own family holiday"
have each person cook one dish for the evening meal.
open presents?
go ice skating?

Answer 7

I know how she feels. My parents are deceased and none of my other relatives besides my sisters are alive. My sisters ahave been on drugs and I haven't been with them in 3 or 4 years. So, It is hard and lonely. Good luck.

Answer 8

Rum.