2006-12-03 11:55:57 · 5 answers · asked by enigma1073 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Great screen name....
Obviously you feel guilty about something. Do you feel responsible for someone's feelings? Did you deliberately do something out of spite or malice to hurt someone? If you have not done anything intentionally to anyone, but your actons hurt someone, then it's their responsibility to choose how to feel about it, not yours.
For example, if you break up with someone, they are hurt. That's not your fault. If you dump them by insulting them over a loudspeaker where they work, or at school, then you should feel guilty for being so spiteful.
People choose how to feel. Sometimes, people try to manipulate others with their feelings. That is what being passive -aggressive is all about. No one is responsible for anyone's feelings unlesss they deliberately instigate them.
If your own self-forgiveness is contingent on the approval of others, you have got problems. We are not perfect. We make mistakes. Mistakes teach us wisdom. If you have remorse, then you probably have empathy, too.
If you apologize to someone, you should always show empathy. Apologize by understanding them first. Then, say in your own words why you think they feel hurt, and what you did that hurt them. Then, clarify your intentions. That's the best you can do.
Take care!
2006-12-03 12:10:56 · answer #1 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are sincere and are sorry and you've made that known to the person you've harmed, then you've done all you can. If the other person will not forgive you, then he/she is only hurting their own self by holding in hatred or unforgiveness. He/she could possibly die young from the diseases this can cause. So, forgive him/her and move on. And learn this lesson. If someone hurts you, forgive him/her. Let it go. You'll be healthier and happier.
Read the Bible for more info on this.
2006-12-03 12:06:11 · answer #2 · answered by swissmiss620 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
By making sure there is not a repeat performance , one learns from expeirience inlife and you will just have to accept that this other person will not forgive you, to forgive yourself just be kind and learn from what has happened, in time your feelings will change but you won't forget the incident but it will go further back into your sub concious.Someone hurt me, I retaliated now that person won't forgive me and has cut me from her life, who is this person?...................my daughter.whom I love dearly but has to accept her wishes.
2006-12-03 23:02:28 · answer #3 · answered by poetrygirl on line 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been persistant about getting the other person to forgive you, and they won't, just get over it. I, personally, believe that admitting your mistakes and learning from them is enough to be forgiven buy.
Trust me. Been there, done that, bought that t-shirt.
2006-12-03 12:33:29 · answer #4 · answered by abcdefgh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about it then.
Coach
2006-12-03 12:02:51 · answer #5 · answered by Thanks for the Yahoo Jacket 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋