Does a man really stay in unhappy marriage for his kids? I know this guy who dropped divorce petition because he couldn't stand the fact his kids started hating him for leaving their mother. He and his wife are like roommates. His wife doesn't trust him, but wants to be with him. They've been having problems for a long time, and they've separated many times. He is from a broken family. Does it affect his view of family even he is not happy?
2006-12-03 11:36:18 · 10 answers · asked by behappy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, No, No! Do not stay married because of the children! Believe me, the children will be much happier if the parents are apart! They know and understand much more than you think! After 20 years of marriage, my children were hurt by our divorce, but soon saw that we were much happier without each other! Now, they couldn't be happier for each one of us! And I couldn't be happier either! Sometimes broken families can't be helped! It is better for the couple to be happy when they are divorced than unhappy all the time while they are married!
2006-12-03 14:40:42 · answer #1 · answered by country girl 006 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is not doing his children any good by staying in an unloving, distrustful marriage. He is "teaching" them how to settle for relationships. Thus, when they become adults they will not know how to have a productive and loving relationship.
And yes, men and women both stay in unhealthy marriages for what they call the "sake of the children."
The children need to know how to make choices. If the marriage is irrepairable and both truly do not love one another anymore. How is that helping his family thrive and grow as adults that will someday want a loving realtionship? It can't.
Through the decision to part ways in a marriage there will be hurt feelings, more pointedly with regard to the children. However, in time and if both parents can remain civil and keep the childrens well being in prospective - the children will learn how to be strong and whole. Divorce requires work too! Your children will forever be your children, even if you and your mate do not or cannot make it work any longer.
2006-12-03 19:42:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I stayed for my Son and in the end I ended up loving my wife and falling for her, so we never know what we might miss if we choose other directions...it's is best to stay regadless of the kids or not.
By the way, I had a woman die in my arms today and her husband will have to live without her physically by her side, but her children are there.
My point is, that sometimes we choose to stay or leave when we only think about ourselves,and so with choices that come to make a decision rather to stay or go, I would stay and stop being selfish and thinking only of our selves.
2006-12-03 19:45:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They never stay for the sake of the children alone. Usually they stay because it is familiar, don't want to be alone, are too busy working to notice how bad it is, to save their finances. Two people can raise healthy children even if they don't love each other, they just have to respect each other. Not every household is a "Leave it to Beaver" house.
2006-12-03 19:48:45 · answer #4 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happens all the time, and it does work a lot. Being roommates isn't all that bad, sometimes it can even make the relationship honest.
Staying for the kids sounds ok to me.
2006-12-03 20:39:08 · answer #5 · answered by WestCoastin4Life 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's the tail wagging the dog. The guy needs his kids blessings or permission to leave a dead marriage?
Hey it'd be nice if everyone could just be supportive with the decision to split but it is HIS decision. He is allowing his children to emotionally blackmail him.
2006-12-03 19:50:31 · answer #6 · answered by upside down 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I know a few men who have stayed because of the kids. Stupid, very stupid if you ask me. Those kids deserve to see 2 people in love and understand what a real marriage is about-not this farce thing of 'roomates' that they watch.
2006-12-03 19:42:57 · answer #7 · answered by blonde_bitch_norris 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I stayed in a bad relationship for 3 years for the kids, and they weren't even mine. It's a bad idea. The temporary pain of the breakup is worth it for all the other benefits.
2006-12-03 19:47:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
no - the kids will suffer more from an unhealthy relationship....after time the children will understand...every one has to be happy in life..
2006-12-03 19:41:02 · answer #9 · answered by beachnut222000 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no he shouldnt because that will just cause more trouble later on.
2006-12-03 20:55:16 · answer #10 · answered by ic0okiesx3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋