Why do people try to find their self confidence in other people?

Question

My freind thinks that for her to feel good about her self she has to have compliments throghn at her every second of evry day. yet if she recives no compliments she feels horible and wants to do something about it or she will just sit on the couch.

Answer 1

- Because they need models. I would advice you to read Anthony Robbins "Interior Power" It would help a lot.

Answer 2

It's called validation and we all need it. Normally not 24/7 of it as you describe your friend. Most of us realize our best validater is ourselves and our arm is long enough to reach around and pat our own back and a quick kiss on the shoulder and all is well in the world.

Maybe her parents failed to read, explain and follow through with her on the lesson of "The Little Engine That Could" or maybe no matter how she excelled they denied her praise which is validation.

Try throwing her a positive when you first encounter her like she looks good or something positive about your last visit or if she has children ask about them right away. If that fails to keep it in check a real friend would have a heart to heart about this annoying part of the friendship.

You are a good friend to be so concerned, she is a lucky woman!

Answer 3

Sounds like your friend feels really bad about herself, poor thing. maybe you can tell her to be a little more tactful. I know if she was my friend I would make sure i complimented her but if she was demanding the comments I would talk that over with her.

Answer 4

because its easier that way
your friend need someone to reassure her of her good qualities
its easier to see the good and bad in other ppl
its like our good qualities are stuck on our back and we can't see so we need someone to tell us where it is or what it is

Answer 5

because thats just how they are!

Answer 6

i don't know. cuz there stupid to relize how stupid they are?