my boyfriend and i have been together a long time and we always talked about starting a family together. he is graduating college this month and has a job waiting for him which pays a lot. i on the other hand am still in school for another 2 semesters.we currently live together a few days a week and a the other days i am at home with my parents. ( this arrangement was made because my parents wouldnt let me move out until i was married) anyways, my boyfriend is saying that he wants to propose to me really soon just so we can move in together sooner. i would love that, but i dont feel that its fair to me that the only reason i am getting a proposal is so i can move in with him full time. i want something special and meaningful, not just something that he "has"to do so we can live together. would i be wrong to tell him not to propose to me until he actually wants to marry me and not just live with me.am i wrong? and i wont move in with him until i am at least engaged due to family issues
2006-12-03 09:24:46 · 11 answers · asked by bar22bie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
there is no way that my parents will let me move in with him. this caused a huge conflict over the summer when we wanted to move in together and it was not pretty. so my parents being ok with it is out of the question completly!
2006-12-03 09:31:39 · update #1
he says that he loves me very much and wants to spend the rest of our lives together but he really wants us to live together. i am all up for marrying now becuase i feel we are ready, but i dont want him to propose jsut because of that, you know. like if we were living together, would he still want to propose now?
2006-12-03 09:34:29 · update #2
im 21. he is 22.
2006-12-03 09:53:44 · update #3
by the way, we are already sleeping together, so that has nothing to do with us not moving in together
2006-12-03 10:30:23 · update #4
Do what YOU want to do. NOT your parents, NOT him. If you want to get engaged and cohabitate, DO IT! Set a self ideal time limit of engagement, usually a year or 2. Do NOT ever rely on a partner solely for income, decision making....Be sure to be TRUE to yourself ALWAYS or your happiness is at stake.
Best of luck. You sound young. I hope you make the best decisions for yourself.
2006-12-03 09:33:59 · answer #1 · answered by Avillion 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very smart to wait for something special. Marriage can be challenging. The stronger foundation you lay in the beginning, the better chance you have at building a strong relationship.
Based on your post, it sounds like there is more than one reason he wants to propose. Perhaps, talking through your concerns is the best answer. He may just be neglecting to tell you the real reasons why he wants to be together. But letting him know you feelings one this can only make the situation better. Trite but true, comunication is key.
2006-12-03 17:33:05 · answer #2 · answered by JustTalking 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I pat you on the back!
You TOTALLY have a reason to tell him not to propose yet. I'm all about waiting until you're ready to be married and spend your lives together, and saying something like "I'll propose to you so we can move in together sooner" isn't a very ligimiate reason AT ALL.
I absolutely support you for wanting to tell him to wait.
If he really values this relationship and where it's going, he'll understand and be patient until it's the right time for BOTH of you and propose because he wants to get married, not just move in together.
Best of luck. :)
2006-12-03 17:31:50 · answer #3 · answered by Imperfect 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are planning on getting together withour marriage it is not good. It goes like this and will be a committment just like one is married so why not do the right things if the two of you love each other. Bo not move in with him and be content with the way you are and if he loves you dearly then let the proposal come forth toward marriage only.
2006-12-03 18:28:26 · answer #4 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you shouldn't be proposed to just to move in together. you go by your instincts. just do not have a child with him, unless you are married. it is one thing to want to start a family together, but that child needs both parents. talking about and having a child can be two different scary things. talk to him, and tell him how you feel. make sure that you don't cave in to his reasons, unless you want to make a mistake. you can't undo some important decisions in life. stick to your guns.
2006-12-03 17:35:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old are you? i think that if this is how you feel then tell your boyfriend. but here is the thing when you tell him this he is only going to turn around and tell you he wants to marry you because he loves you. so what would be the point of saying that to him?? i think that if you love each other and want to get married he must love you, he is just not using the correct words to tell you.the reason i asked how old you are is if your over 18 why would you need your parents permission??
2006-12-03 17:48:35 · answer #6 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong. You stick to your guns on this one. Only because you have to be sure he's asking you for all the right reasons not just because he wants to play house. Good Luck
2006-12-03 18:16:38 · answer #7 · answered by Trinity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come On! He does NOT have to marry you if he doesn't want to. He has a great future and wants to include you as his wife. If you have doubts that's another thing.
2006-12-03 17:41:47 · answer #8 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so what are you saying?...since you live together few days a week, your parents think you're committing halfway fornication?...whatever!
2006-12-03 17:35:23 · answer #9 · answered by Morena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk about it with your parents... maybe find a job so you won't have to depend on any Else's money than yours... and move in with him...
2006-12-03 17:29:51 · answer #10 · answered by kamqx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋