2006-12-03 09:15:53 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just like you would anybody else. It's not the easiest role to be in, especially if the real mum is still in the picture. A good step mum wouldn't "over-step" (!) & NEVER want, or expect you to call her "mom." My stepson & I were the best of friends. In fact, after I filed divorce, he begged me to take him with me because I always said what I meant & didn't harp on things, & he could come to me to talk with me. I almost wanted to cry, because of course I couldn't "take" him. My husband accused me of marrying him JUST for his son--well--maybe I did! "Dealing" really takes both of you. Mutual respect, communication, SHARING & hopefully love. IT IS TRUE that some stepmum's try to take on the role of the real mum, & if that's your situation, have a talk with your dad. NOT her. Hopefully, he'll understand, & then he can talk to HER. Good luck!
Edit: PLEASE read this. I looked at some answers, & judy_r8 suggests the worst possible thing you could do! "...get her on your side..then you can use the 'well dad & Jane let me...." That is called "manipulation" & will only stir up a hornet's nest. ADULTS often do this--putting the kid in the middle & it NEVER works. I've seen this (with the parents & the kids) more often than I care to remember, & that was the primary reason they were in therapy. I hope you're selective, because you got some very thoughtful answers. But not this one!
2006-12-03 09:38:23 · answer #1 · answered by Valac Gypsy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i knew my step mom when i was 7 yrs old, but didnt start living with her until i was 13. i was old enough to know that i need to repsect her as any other adult. i treated her politely and i only received the same. eventually we grew a strong bond and i started calling her mom. i treat her as if she were my mom from the beginning.
i just started building a relationship with my biological mother and so far its been great, but i will never eliminate my "step mom" out of the picture.
you deal with a step parent with respect and honesty. you may not agree with the whole situation, but it isnt your relationship to decide who gets to marry who. its your decision to let things work out for the better with letting go of anger and animosity.
hope this helps
2006-12-03 17:30:51 · answer #2 · answered by bjperez07 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you give her the respect she deserves as your father's wife. If you don't want to call her mom, dont, use her name. but when she asks you to do something, do it, and don't constantly bring up the fact that your mother was your dad's first choice. being rude to her will only anger your father, so be polite. if you are really smart, you can get her on your side against your dad on issues like clothes and dating. and then you can use the "well dad and jane let me do it" when your mom forbids something.
2006-12-03 17:21:39 · answer #3 · answered by judy_r8 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
shes human too and in a position thats very hard to assume if you like her let her in to your life if u dont ask why . this is someone your father has chose to be with be respectful of that at the least
2006-12-03 17:21:23 · answer #4 · answered by pargorider1969 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Treat her as you want to be treated, if there are problems, talk to your dad. Keep the communication lines open and she will probably enjoy you. I hope the best for you.
2006-12-03 17:22:18 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
JUST TREAT HER WITH RESPECT, IT'S YOUR DAD'S WIFE. LATER ON YOU'LL GET TO KNOW HER BETTER AND FIND OUT SHE'S AN OK PERSON AND EVEN HAVE FUN WITH HER.
2006-12-03 17:19:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
beat her with her broom
2006-12-03 17:29:02 · answer #7 · answered by razbo_1999 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋