Old fashioned euphamisms (not derogatory) for lesbians?

Question

I'm trying to find a light hearted way of breaking the news to our (older) relatives that my daughter is a lesbian (it's their problem not mine or hers). So I'm interested in hearing any "old fasioned" non-derogatory euphemisism used for lesbians that they might recognise. And yes before our self righteous bigots start on me- no i'm not afraid of the term, and yes I will tell them in no uncertain terms ...after I'm eased them into the idea.

Answer 1

As an older lesbian (61) I congradulate you on your endevor(s), as for light hearted euphemisms to be used in what you propose there really isn't any that I know of.
My family used to refer to my dad's aunt as going the "single way" and prefering to be an 'old maid". That doesn't help you much I know but I have found that being honest with people is better then beating around the bush. You don't have to ans. their questions outright just tell them your daughter has her own mind and wishes to do as she will, that is if they want or ask questions about her.
No reason(s) to start the subject anyway, they might have an idea already about that.
Sometimes it's best to leave somethings alone. You don't talk about your sex life to them do you?

Answer 2

I don't know how old your relatives are, or where they grew up, but here are some terms (some of them quite old, some more recent) that you can drop as hints.

Boston marriages (popular in the 20's and still referenced to lesbianism way back then)

Toms (I got this term from the historical novel 'Tipping the Velvet'; don't know how accurate it is, but you can try it)

Spinster/Old Maid (sad, biased terms, but back when, a woman who never married was suspected/known to be lesbian)

Sapphic/Sapphistry (always-in-fashion reference to the famous Greek lesbian; the best-known term, really)

Bilitis (another old refrence)

The Brown Family (an old term for the gay subculture, but not lesbians in particular)

Dutch Girl (historical reference to lesbians- worth a definite try)

Gynaeotrope (no clue; just found it in a list)

Kissing Fish (term for a lesbian couple)

Pansy Without a Stem (somewhat derogatory name for a lesbian, but definitely describes it)

Slacks (another historical term, one that I imagine would be pretty descriptive and might job memories- I don't know how you'd work it into a sentence, though)

And don't forget the general terms of gay, lesbian, dyke, and so-on. Good luck and I hope things go well!

Answer 3

Shouldn't that be your daughter's conversation with her older relatives? Unless she has asked you to have The Talk for her, I'm not sure you should be speaking on her behalf.

My favorite old-fashioned euphamism is "Boston Marriage", but that really applies to a couple, and not so much to a young, single woman. If your daughter is in a serious relationship with another woman, you could use it.

Or you could mention her girlfriend. Most older people do not equate the word "girlfriend" to "lesbian"... they tend to think that it means "close female friend". But if you use it enough they'll get it.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Old Time Lesbians

Answer 5

A lesbian might also be considered a "female-identified woman" (as opposed to male-identified woman); that is, she relates more strongly to women and than the dominant power (men) and refuses to measure herself by the man's standards of what a woman should be or do or look like.

I recommend you have your daughter read Audre Lorde's autobiography _Zami: A New Spelling of my Name_ (Lorde is a brilliant black lesbian feminist). It's a beautiful book. She repossesses the word "zami," a derogatory term for "lesbian" in her native Caribbean culture, so that, rather than alienating her, it belongs to her. She replaces its derogatory connotations with loving, positive ones. (In Lorde's native culture, when no men and husbands were around or were off doing "manly" chores or even working in other countries, women had to live and work with and strongly depend on and support other women. In these colonies of sorts, they would naturally come to very much love each other [or one other woman in particular] and want to express that love in spite of the fact that open, admitted homosexuality was not tolerated in their culture. This seems to suggest that lesbianism wants to come about naturally in such a loving, supportive, woman-centered environment.)

Answer 6

Not old fashioned but very sweet
Lesbianism = SheLove
Got this all the time in Greece from young men (not in an abusive way). Cute eh?
PS Good luck!!!

Answer 7

Sapphist.

Answer 8

well this isn't really old but i heard Ellen DeGeneres( not sure on the spelling) use this one and thought it was cute. women in comfortable shoes

Answer 9

you know, I have never heard anything non-derogatory and some of my bestest friends are ladies in love with ladies who love them in return.

One of them did tell me once that we had somethingin common--that we both licked p**sy.

Answer 10

bull dagger