Husband house cleaning?

Question

My husband won't lift a finger at home! I love him to bits, but he is a slob. We both work full time and he seems to think it is all my responsibility. We have a 5 year old as well, so you can imagine what mess the two of them can create! Does any one have suggestions on how to get it through to him I am not his maid? I've worked 6 days this week, and I am using my only day off to clean up the house. It is so frustrating. I'm thinking of going on strike with his laundry. See who is laughing when he runs out of clothes. haha Sorry for the rant...I know I am not alone on this one...any suggestions would be great! Thanks

realman - Been sick before...no house cleaning. :( Great answers everyone! I like the idea of his own 'box' to put things into. We have talked about this several times...still doesn't understand how hard it is to maintain a house. The house cleaner is a good idea. I think the threat alone is great. He won't want to part with the money!

Answer 1

Ok. My wife works full time as do I yet I make sure I do shopping washing cleaning dusting etc. why is it the womens Job. I am home two hours ealeir than my wife so I try to make her evening a relaxing one no big deal is it.

You just have to stop doing stuff for the lazy git. Start by not doing his washing. lay down the law girl. Cleaning house is a hard job and shopping just as bad but you should share in a relationship.

Answer 2

COMMUNICATION ALERT!

Here's some dialog (do not use this dialog before, during or after a sporting event, when he's just walking in the door or is working on some kind of MAN project):

"Honey, can I talk to you about something? (be sweet, not combative). I'm very tired and I know that you are too. The house always looks like it's exploded and I was wondering if you could help me with just 1 little thing...." then PICK 1 little thing- like the dishes or the bathroom. Eventually- you can add 2 little things, then 3 little things....

NOW- here's the part where the 5 year old gets involved. Every night before your 5 year old goes to sleep, give her a laundry basket and have here pick up all her toys off the floor, put them in the basket and then bring the basket to her room. Everytime she does this- give her a sticker on a chart. When she gets 7 stickers, get her a toy at the 99 cents store or do a craft with her or something cool.

HUSBAND- another trick. When he comes in, does he leave a trail? Keys, wallet, jacket, shoes, Ipod, watch. change....buy a medium size, decorative box just for his stuff and start putting his stuff in there. Eventually, he'll start finding his stuff IN THERE and discover that it's a good place to put his stuff in so he doesn't have to go searching for it!

Answer 3

I'd just sit down with him and explain that you have been at work six days this week and that you would appreciate some help. Suggest that in future you will have to leave out doing certain chores, like the washing or cleaning if you don't get any help. You could try suggesting that certain chores you will do and certain chores he will do. You could say something like I don't mind doing X Y and Z if you wouldn't mind doing A B and C. If he still doesn't get it then unfortunately I would get tough and consider going on strike. But explain to your 5 year old what is going on because he will pick up on any conflict - you could use the situation to demonstrate the concept of sharing!

Answer 4

My significant different helps with the housecleaning , he's messier than i'm and grew up with a maid so he each and every from time to time does a decrease than a reliable interest yet he tries. My father and mother have my mom sparkling extra because my dad does each and every of the cooking . As to shoes contained in the abode I stay in Newfoundland a really damp climate so no human being wears shoes contained in the abode right here. My dad is Asian so no remember the position we lived we continually bumped off them although i comprehend some human beings idea we were extraordinary.

Answer 5

I had the same problem. My husband was a super neat freak before we married, then all of a sudden when the ring jumped on my finger it all became my job...I asked him a thousand times to help, and then because I was so tired we gradually started to have less and less sex. I finally went to him one day in tears because I needed help. I explained to him that when I get that tired I don't want sex. The next day he helped clean the house. I kept him up all night.
He learned that helping me means he gets more of what he wants. We are back up to 3 times a day, my house is clean, and I still get sleep at night.
(At the time I had a newborn and a 15 month old)

Answer 6

Sit down and talk to him about it. Get a baby sitter and go to dinner. Discuss it like adults. If that doesn't work, get some marital counseling. A marriage is like a deal. Everybody needs to feel like they are being treated fair. If not, you have to ask yourself "deal or no deal." Seriously.

My wife is a student full time. She does most of the housework. I help out any way I can, even though I am gone off to work about 12 hours daily between drive time, Etc. None of us are too good to help out with the maintenance of the house.

Answer 7

Don't stop at just the clothes. With the exception of making sure your child's needs are met, go on strike with EVERYTHING. Laundry, housecleaning, cooking, dishes, etc. Once he is out of EVERYTHING, he will ask why. Then you can tell him that as soon as he gets off his lazy butt, things will get done. Or another idea is to call your local cleaning service and ask what they charge for each individual service. They might get a kick out of it when you tell them you plan on handing your husband the bill for your services.

Answer 8

I had three young sons & worked full time--with no help.
I went on "strike" and didn't lift a finger---after a couple days, it was like a lightbulb going on for all 4 of them--and they always pitched in when asked after that.

Good luck with this!

Answer 9

Going on strike sounds prefect. That's what I do when ever my hubby needs to be reminded that I am not the only one who lives in our home. It is very effective after the first time or so.
Good Luck.

Answer 10

Just tell him straight forward that you aren't a maid and that he needs to contribute 50/50, otherwise you won't do anything.

Start it off with your going on strike idea.