So I get married at 18 to my 17 year old girlfriend. We had a daughter together and tied the know. 9 years and 4 kids later we are still married but not for much longer. She has decided to leave me because she says she is unhappy. I love her with all of my heart and I am not going to fight her on the divorce and I am going to give her whatever she wants. It may sound stupid but I want her to be happy and I am trusting her not to screw me over. My hope is that one day we can be together again. Anyone ever see this happen before or go through it?
2006-12-03 06:23:27 · 7 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Did you ever think of maybe having her see this question so you can discuss it?
2006-12-03 06:25:48 · answer #1 · answered by preciouspinkla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want her fight for her.. don't just roll over and take it.. maybe go back to the beginning and start dating. Try and talk and find way that things can change so she will be happy... but if she is not willing to work on it.. you will have to fight for some thing cuz she might take it all and you will have nothing..
IE child support.. some women will go for it all.. and suck every last penny out of you and then what? I know quite a few men who ex got so much of there money there was almost no means for them to live.. and making ends meat in there own place... let alone buying there kids some thing nice..
It take 2 people in the marriage to have it work and both have to be willing to work for it to make it happen.. At least from this question 1 of you is willing to do it..
Good luck!
2006-12-03 14:31:06 · answer #2 · answered by Jackson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all the only one who can make her happy is herself. This is what happens very often to couples who are sexually active to early in the relationship and don't take the time to get to know each other first. They wind up pregnant then they get married to a person they don't know, they grow they change and lo and behold one of them somewhere along the way has discovered that they really don't love their partner and that they are unhappy in the marriage because had they have waited to get to know the person they are living with they probably wouldn't have gotten married, let alone been sexually intimate with them.
Basically this is what has happened to your marraige, your wife was pretty much still a child when you and her had sex, she had all of a child's emotions and the thought of "happily ever after" was an attraction to her. So she wound up pregnant, you got married and she was expected to "grow up" After all grown ups get married and have families not children...but SHE was still a child and was now having to grow up raising children herself and now that she IS grown up this isn't want she wants. Too bad you didn't abstain from sex 10 years ago because you wouldn't be going through this now...all I can say is hope you learned a valuble lesson you can pass on to YOUR children when they are still children wanting to "play" at being grown ups.
2006-12-03 14:51:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are not naive but you need to realize that the love that a teenager has sometimes change as we get older and people change...Maybe some feelings changed on her end or she has found someone that peaked her interest and maybe wants to explore...It is good for you wanting her to be happy, but what about you...The best thing for you is to let her go....There is a saying that says: "If you love something let it go, if it comes back its yours', if it doesn't it never was"...You're still young and you heart will heal in time....The space between the two of you and the divorce that she wants is due to circumstances and getting older and her feelings changing. You will be fine....Let her go and when she sees that you are the best thing then she will come back....
2006-12-03 14:52:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this, it is going to hurt. But, a wise women once told me: most women do NOT leave their men unless they have another one lined up. Do you think there could be someone else? This seems to be true more often than not. Start reading som good books. You cannot change her, but you can change you. Try reading "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. Also try Dr. Phil's "Relationship Rescue". Or Another book called "Lies at the Altar". If there is infidelity, there are books to help with that too. one is "Not Just Friends" by:Shirley Glass. You have to try. You have FOUR reasons to consider, but you cannot do all the work she has to do her part. She needs to consider her marrigae vows to you and GOD and to your children. Hang in there and be strong. God Bless you and your family.
2006-12-03 14:42:47 · answer #5 · answered by otowndmbfan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
break out the gloves. If she wanted you she wouldn't be divorcing you. Give her everything and it will only mean you are left with nothing.
2006-12-03 15:05:50 · answer #6 · answered by spag 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some legal advice. You cannot be too careful. If she is that trustworthy, why is she leaving you? CYA is OK.
2006-12-03 14:46:50 · answer #7 · answered by Jack P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋