my brother has a grudge against my mom for no reason. she has always been the best mother that i could say anyone could have. my dad and her have been trying to get everyone back together and soon to be united once again like we were years ago. so my question is.. WHY DOES HE BLAME EVERYTHING ON HER FOR EVERYTHING THAT GOES WRONG IN HIS LIFE?!??!?!
this has been going on for a few years now. please!! i need advice.. maybe you have answers bc we dont!
2006-12-03 04:11:01 · 9 answers · asked by Brittany 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm sorry to hear your family is having pain.
I have a son who blames everthing wrong on me too, and it's all because he took off one summer to see relatives and I told him he had to take his puppy with him, cause it was his responsibility.
This dog would not stop peeing on my carpets, so I gave it away.
He has hated me sence and refuses to forgive me.
'Tell your mom to think hadr about even the most littlest thing she has done that hurt him. I have a feeling she'll beable to pin point it.
Good Luck
2006-12-03 04:18:37 · answer #1 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because of something you don't know, more than likely.
Or it could be that he just needs someone to blame for bad things that happen to him. I doubt your mother is responsible if his car breaks down, and I'm sure he literally doesn't blame her for everything that goes wrong. But if he's in a bad situation in general, maybe it's something big that happened when he was younger that helped him get to that bad situation. Maybe she failed to help him then and wants to now, which would be insulting to me.
If you give me his number I'll call him and ask him.
Or you could.
2006-12-03 12:26:21 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all why did the family go their separate ways?did something happen to make him angry? ask him if he would be willing to go see a counselor.maybe the whole family could go and get conselling and find out what is eating him so much.tell him he could be free to speak his mind and that maybe you could see what is making him so angry.sometimes a deep hidden anger will fester until it becomes a cess pool.something might have happened to hurt him that he never dealt with and for this reason he has let it escalate in to a mountain.he needs to bring it out and begin a healing process and then ask for forgiveness. maybe the whole family will have to forgive each other. sometimes blaming others is because there is guilt there. he may be carrying alot of guilt. thats why counselling is needed to see what is underneath all this hostility.it could be jealousy.
2006-12-03 12:23:46 · answer #3 · answered by jbearbooboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One does not hate their mother for no reason. Something happened between your brother and mother sometime ago that you may not be aware of. In most cases, neither can remember who wronged who.
Let your brother be but continue to invite him to family gatherings and send Christmas and Birthday Cards yearly.
If you plan on asking your brother what happened, don't transfer the information to your mother. You don't want to get involved that way. Be understanding with your brothers response but what may seem like nothing to you may be very hurtful to your brother.
Best of luck
2006-12-03 12:40:26 · answer #4 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i think that maybe u missunderstood whole situation or may be he is suffering from bipolar disorder. but then think twice, u never would be able to understand why he behaved like that cause his experiences and urs are different. actually i would like to chat with u on this topic, but unfortunately i cant at least for the time being cause i am drunk. maybe similar situation, cause in my whole family theres no one addicted to driking the way i am, to be honest, but somehow, how life and situations mould u, u really cant explain the way u have become on life, but thers always a reason for everything... u always need to hear both sides of the story.. stop being judgmental...
2006-12-03 12:22:32 · answer #5 · answered by friendsseason9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he blames things on his mother because he is a child and has not learned to accept the consequences for his own actions..
he can not accept responsibility for his mistakes, and your mother is an easy target for his anger. until he grows up he will always be the same. if he had a wife, he would blame things on her.
other than some counseling for him...he is not likely to change. have you tried talking to him yourself? ask him questions and then just listen to his answers...make no comments. sometimes this can be helpful for both of you...
2006-12-03 12:17:08 · answer #6 · answered by intelligentbooklady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is easier to blame someone other than yourself for ur problems...ask your brother why he is blaming your mother for things you dont feel is her fault...either that or maybe you are the favored child in the family(this happened in my family)...all i can say is talk to him and find out.
2006-12-03 12:15:27 · answer #7 · answered by Michele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys need a professional to help you out. He is blaming her for his shortcomings and that won't go away too easily. Best thing to do is get help. Good luck.
2006-12-03 12:17:07 · answer #8 · answered by J.M.C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe your brother knows something about your mom that you don't.
2006-12-03 12:14:53 · answer #9 · answered by kissybertha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋