Would you follow your heart or your head?

Question

I have just come back from Australia with my elder daughter.
(We were there for my brothers wedding)
We loved it so much that after my daughter finishes Uni she will be moving out there to live.
My 20 year old son is at Uni but has his career as a teacher to find out where he will settle.
My younger daughter of 14 is still in school >
So what i want to do is move to Australia when my youngest daughters education has finished.
But my wife of 23 years does not in any circumstances want to move to
Australia.

My heart is with my wife but my head says Australia is
my future and i should go there.

I know you can't help me decide but
What would you do if you was in this situation????

Answer 1

G'DAY MATE, come to Aussie!! We'll have ya :) Why your wife doesn't want to live here? She can have Tim Tam's and Vegemite everyday, and how about throw another shrimp on the barbie? Seriously, do what you think is best, though what about your kids? They'll miss you and its a long way to come for a visit.

Answer 2

If i were you i would sit my wife down and have a serious talk about your future together. Explain to her that you love her and you want her to be with you. Try to say that now all your children are grown up and starting a fresh life for themselves that maybe you both soul do the same by packing up and seeing the world. Even if it starts in Australia. I think that if you truly love someone you would do anything to try and make them happy. I hope everything works out for you. Trying leaving some pamphlets on Australia lying around so your wife can learn more about the place before you make any drastic decisions.

Answer 3

Wow. You are in a tough situation. There must be some other issues in your marriage or you could never consider leaving a wife of 23 years just because you'd rather live somewhere else.
I have been married 21 years. I want to live by the ocean. My husband doesn't want to move away from his parents. I am constantly telling him that as soon as they die, we are moving, because I've been STUCK all these years. I'm not sure if he will willingly move after they are gone or not, but I will make a great case for it. I would not, however, consider leaving him to live elsewhere. It is just something I will always have some regrets about. We never fully discussed before marriage where we would like to live. I had expected to be mobile. He had expected to stay put. It's nobody's fault, really. I have a sad longing in me to be near the ocean. We always vacation there, so that's my compromise.

Answer 4

and why the hell should she just up sticks and move to the other side of the world just because you went there on holiday????

what is it with guys eh?

im sure if the shoe was on the other foot you wouldnt be too pleased if she had come back from there and declared you were moving!!

what a cheek- i would tell you where to go....

you havent considered her feelings at all....

that kind of move is very very traumatic.... its not spain, you can hardly 'pop back' for the weekend.

what makes you think that your destiny is there anyway?

do you have a job? enough money to get through the criteria? a sponsor? (i assume your brother lives there and could do that for you)

i think several more holidays are in order to there before you EVEN THINK ABOUT SUCH A SERIOUS MOVE

and how on earth you could think about leaving your wife for such a pipedream is beyond me.

just remember, would you be so keen if this was her idea????

think carefully or you could lose her altogether!!

good luck

Answer 5

If your wife is adamant she will not emigrate, then I suggest you purchase a holiday home in Australia as near as possible to your family. It is a very scary decision for your wife to make especially if she is happy and settled in the UK. You could talk to your wife and see if you could go out to Australia whenever you could take time off from work and then when you reach retirement, you could have the best of both worlds. Spend your Winters in the Australian sunshine and stay in the UK for Spring and Summer. You never know, after a couple of holidays, your wife may change her mind and take the plunge and emigrate to Australia.

Answer 6

Your wife may have some very valid reasons for not wanting to live in another country where she is not a citizen. The grass is not always greener, as they say. I would check the cost of living, which is higher and I would also take into account that Aussie's are not to foreign friendly, especially to Americans. Make your decision wisely and decide what cost you are willing to pay IF you decide to move...it could quite possibly cost you your wife. Good luck!

Answer 7

Sweetie, your mate's input is valid, so your best bet is to persuade her over a period of time. I fully understand her point of view, as much as I understand yours. You and your mate are a team, so I suggest that you weigh the pros, and cons of living in Australia. You need to also take into consideration finances, health care, and living arrangements when presenting this to your mate. When dealing with home and hearth, those roots run deep, and do not uproot easily. I do hope you will not disregard your lady's wishes, but take them into consideration when making this quite life changing decision. Use your head! 23 years of marriage is scared in my opinion. I can only hope my mate, and I see 23 years together. You have a good woman, her happiness is your happiness. I'm not suggesting that you disregard your dream, but your marriage is THE most important thing in the world. I do hope this will work out to your benefit, where she will agree to move. There is nothing worse than having a dream, and not being able to fulfill it. Best Wishes

Answer 8

If you're even asking yourself this question, doesn't that say something?

I know if this were concerning me and my boyfriend (in a few years, of course, after we're married and such), I would know that wherever my husband is, THAT is where my future should be. Not anywhere else.

If you're saying that you think your future is Australia, then you're chosing that future over a future with your wife.

To move there, away from your wife, would be silly just because "you love it there."

Think about your kids. If you love your wife, you'd prefer to stay with her no matter how pretty another continent looks.

Answer 9

I use to live in Australia my self,you love the place or hate it,but you can visit and still stay with the wife who has been by your side for 23 years,stay happy and here in the UK.

Answer 10

I would do my best to point out the attributes of Australia, and explain the longing i had in my heart. Your wifey might change her mind in a couple of years. If she stays on at 6th form it could be 4 years, which is a long time. And people do change.