Why is it mother in laws never like son in laws and/or daughter in laws?
2006-12-03 03:12:56 · 7 answers · asked by mirmade13 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think my mother in law is afraid of me.
Very early in my marriage to her son, she was telling people in her church some VERY personal details about my husband. She has no personal boundaries, and no clue that other people have personal boundaries. Meaning that your business is every ones business and her business is also every ones business. (Tact!? What is that four letter word you speak of?!) Anyway, I got right up in her face and said in my most deadly voice, "If I ever hear of you talking about (husband's name) like that again, you will NEVER see your son again. You have stepped over the line of decency and good taste and I will not put up with it. You humiliate your son, yourself and the remaining family that are still in your home with the skeletons you expose. HOW DARE YOU!"
She just gawked at me, and we have never spoken of it since. I told my husband what I had done. He nodded and said that he had wondered when I was finally going to explode. Now, I know some would say I should be more forgiving and polite. I tried that, it didn't work. Sometimes you just have to hit people with a proverbial hammer in order for them to understand that their behavior is wrong.
The thing is she did learn from my outburst. She doesn't spread the family gossip anymore, nor does she spread other people's family gossip. However, it has strained our relationship, but if that is the price we have to pay for her to have learned to keep her mouth shut then I am willing to pay that price.
2006-12-03 04:12:27 · answer #1 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best answer I have to this in short is: Remember the first ever arguement you had with your Girlfriend( your wife but before you guys were married)No not really right.Well Her mother and father never forget,You see we as a couple we argue but love covers all these arguements to the point where we forget and move on.But others particulary parents they don't know or even realize that when they were young they argued too.So it in turn leads them to believe that we are the bad guys.And one more thing,Parents always want the best for their children,And if we being husband or wife of the child has one quality that is lacking they tend to be judgemental.I can assure that when you have children and they seek a mate for life you might feel the same way.
2006-12-03 11:26:21 · answer #2 · answered by bummed by the system 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of in-laws never get along because of pride and independency. Pride because the mothers always say they knows best! Remember the saying "Mother's knows best". Independency; because the daughter in-law or son-inlaw doesn't want to be rule by any parents -in -law , especially in decision making because they want to prove their own identity and can handle matters in their own way or family. New couples or any couples wants to be regarded with their own initiative; and most parents - in - law doesn't understand, they always think they are right. what can we do? I suggest be on your own but always respect our parents and in laws or else we won't meet and marry our spouses.
2006-12-03 11:53:20 · answer #3 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love my motherNlaw although it wasn't that way in the beginning due to the fact that she kept trying to parent our marriage and my husband wouldn't stand up to her. Eventually, he did and well that was all it took. She needed to see that we were united together in our decisions whether she approved or not and that if she didn't quit interfering then we removed ourselves from her. Keeping her at a distance helped her to rethink. Keep in mind that a man is supposed to leave his mother and father and stick to his wife. Anyway, it took about 2 years before she got the message but it was well worth it. She has been instrumental in the following years with helping with the kids etc...
We have a mutual respect for each other and an abiding love. Also, we fall in love with our mates we don't fall in love with their parents. It takes time to develop a mutually satisfying relationship that respects boundries.
2006-12-03 12:05:20 · answer #4 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never say never. There's an exception to every rule like this.
2006-12-03 11:42:08 · answer #5 · answered by Rvn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question - I don't know. I've tried to like my soon to be DIL - I will keep trying. I don't want to be one of those stats - you know? As far as my MIL - God, there's just no hope!!!!
2006-12-03 11:22:01 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get along GREAT with my inlaws, really
2006-12-03 12:06:02 · answer #7 · answered by Poptart20 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋