Last minute jitters?

Question

My due date is approaching fast (one week) and I find myself getting increasingly nervous. People keep asking me if I'm excited, and I feel terrible for even writing this, but I'm not. I don't really feel any maternal connection to this baby like I did with my daughter. It's my second child and I have an idea of what to expect during the delivery, etc. I think I'm also nervous because I have final exams scheduled for school in the last week of my pregnancy and I'm nervous about taking those. I also know that the second he is born, a barrage of legal battles will begin with my ex which I am not looking forward to. He has honestly ruined this entire pregnancy for me. I know once this kid comes out, I'm going to love it and work really hard at being a good mom. I'm just really sad that I feel this way.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any suggestions on ways to get excited about having this child. No abusive answers please.

Answer 1

Oh my gosh, you are carrying such an enormous emotional burden. Has anyone noticed that? You need support right now, not more worry. You will love your child. Your financial problems will be worked out. You will come through this in your own way and at your own pace. You are a good person, but most of all, you need some TLC and a lot of supportive care. That's the most important thing. Take a deep breath. Think of who can help you the most (doctor, counselor, priest, rabbi, some one you can trust). Start talking about how you feel. Make sure you have good people around you in this delivery. And keep the faith. I have survived some big messes like you, but I am here on the other side reaching out and saying: you can make it. So here is a big long hug.

Answer 2

It sounds like you have a lot of emotion and negative feelings connected with the conception and pregnancy of this child (and rightfully so!). Here is something that I think might help. See if you can find about an hour or so where you can be alone and not tied up doing anything (hard enough, I know, but worse with finals I am sure!) Sit in a comfortable place either is silence, or listening to some soft, comforting music. Close your eyes, and picture your son-to-be. At first, let all of your emotion associated with the child enter your mind. Then, piece by piece, separate each emotion, examine it, and decide where the emotion is really coming from, then reattach it to an image of that person or thing. This should help you to separate the emotions you are feeling about exams and the legal battles and your ex from the feelings that you are feeling about your baby. Good luck!

Answer 3

I understand, I think you have a lot of stress going on and that is soooooo normal... I would suggest you talk to your doc about antidepressants...I had to and they are helping. I think every mom has a ton of stress and sometimes you need some help to get out of the rut....no help to your EX. Try thinking of how much fun you will have with this baby. I think that a second child does not bring as much excitement as the first... you know what hard stuff you will go through and of course you will love this child the same but unlike the first your rose colored glasses are off now. Don't think about your ex and focus on being the best mom to both kids.

I know you will be fine

Answer 4

Sorry you feel that way, Red. Beware of the hormones and drugs that will make you feel additionally weird. They made me feel BAAD, but I was very happy at the same time. Everything is much better now, almost 7 weeks later. But my advice to you is keep being open and honest like you are doing now, tell the nurses how you feel. They can be really really helpful. Stay centered by writing in your journal and talking out loud to your little baby in your belly.
I wasn't nervous at ALL and this is my 2nd baby, too. I thought THAT was really, really weird. I was soooo excited to meet her and thank GOD there were no issues with legalities or anything like that.
Big HUGS to you and congratulations ...are you having a boy? You said the second "he" is born...Lots of love to your son, may he be healthy, happy, blessed and bring you unimaginable joy!
Try to drink lots of orange juice, eat oranges and get outside to get some fresh air... those will give you a natural mood boost. Awww, honey, I hope you'll be feeling better soon!

Answer 5

Its probably just hormones. Ive heard a lot of mom's that have this problem in similar situations. It can actually be a sign that you will have post partum depression, since this is gearing you and your hormones up for that sort of reponce. I'd talk to your doctor about it, because you may need medication to keep your head on straight after he gets here.

But, I have also known that moms who go through this sort of battle before the baby comes, lose all that feeling once the baby is here and in their arms. That bond comes flying in, instinct takes over, and your head clears.

You need a support group, team, person, or persons. Be it a church, a family, or a group of friends, who can be more than just passive bystanders. You need people to actively help you through the first couple of weeks, and then continue to help you through the court process youre about to embark on. Being proud and not asking for help really isnt an option for you rigth now.

If your family and friends cant be there, find a church or other social group who can be there on demand for you. Even a social worker can help.

After all that, i'd suggest some couseling for yourself. What your ex has put you through can easily repeat itself. I dont know if it is already a repeat thing, but since you've got alteast one other child and no man in your life, I'd have to say the pattern doesnt look promising. This is not a pointing out of faults, its a pointing out of where you need help to avoid this situation again, not only for you, but for your children. No one should have to go through this nonsense, especially not children who have no control over the situation.

There are good men out there, its just a matter of knowing what you're looking for, and looking in all the right places.

you'll make it through.

Answer 6

i know exactly how you feel. my daughter is 12 days old. she is my third child, i think i was more nervous and not ready than with my first child. every time someone would say "i bet you are ready to get it over with" i would say in the back of my mind "no, i'm not". i'm sure you will be a great mom. once your child is born more than likely you will feel that overwhelming love.
as for your ex, i don't know what the situation is but just keep in mind that courts always favor the mother unless proven unfit.
good luck and congratulations

Answer 7

Rememeber. the aches and pains will be over soon! and i think another positive is the larger breasts that come with milk makin, and also the reliefe when you feed. The smiles and laughts to come. Those beautiful puffy eyes, and those rosey red cheeks. Beautiful long hair, or amazingly bald. All those wrinkles and all those little fingers and toes!!! and the tiny little finger nails. The wonder of how you were able to make carry and birth such a wonder. Congrats!!! you will get so much attention soon you wont be able to handle it!!!

Answer 8

im really nervous too about the birth not due till next year.
my partner is putting all these restrictions on how i should give birth. i like the idea of a water birth hes dead against it etc etc.

i always go shopping it helps to cheer me up. and i pamper myself loads take a bath and relax, if your up for it and its ok go for a swim, weightlessness in the water helps take the stress of your body and the exercise wil release endorphins to boost ur mood, might also be good to kick start labour.

if i am really worried or stressed i take a walk and find somewhere quite to scream really loud. helps rlease frustration and stress and ull feel loads better promise.

Answer 9

Try to think what it will be like when you hold him in your arms the first time. I think that it is important for you to know that the minute you hold him your future legal battles will be out of your mind. You are excited I am sure. I think you just know that it is a long road ahead of you! Congrats.

Answer 10

Go to the baby section at Wal-Mart that always cheers me up even when I'm not pregnant or if I cant even buy anything all the cute little outfits and new gadgets they didn't have when my kids were born really make me smile! good luck with baby and school and congratulations