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he wants to file for divorce but i dont want to. i will contest for the custody of my child but since he has a flawed character, i intend to contest his visitation rights too. can i do that?

2006-12-03 01:58:48 · 29 answers · asked by Lisa A 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

29 answers

Don't contest the divorce. Obviously it is not working out and staying married will make it more difficult to deal with, especially when there is a child involved. Do not put your child in the middle of an adult situation. Your child will resent you when your child grows up. There are agreements with custody issues, I suggest you talk to your lawyer about those issues. But staying together won't make it any easier for both of you, your child will hurt more in the end.

2006-12-03 02:52:39 · answer #1 · answered by Trese 5 · 0 0

The laws are different in each state. He had an affair, that is his flaw in character? Is he abusive to the child? Is he mean or cruel to the child? Is he neglectful to the child? Why would you deny visititation between the father and the child, for the mere reason that he was an adulterer to >you

2006-12-03 02:13:15 · answer #2 · answered by restless_nymph 3 · 0 0

Sure you can do anything you like. If the court see's fit that there is something in his past that shouldnt allow him to have shared custody they will give you full custody as long as your character isnt also flawed. Take it from me...and I am speaking by experience..I do NOT approve of divorce but I do believe that it takes 3 in a marriage YOU, HIM AND GOD! God is willing and you are willing...but if he is NOT willing, it wont work. If he wants a divorce, dont contest it because ultimately you CANT make him stay married to you. He will get his divorce regardless if you contest it or not. It may take longer but he will still get it. Dont put yourself through all that. Worry about yourself and your child.

2006-12-03 02:04:33 · answer #3 · answered by Phoenix 2 · 0 0

As far as the Divorce , let him go , he'll realize he made a mistake , but when that time arrives you won't want him back , As far as your child , if the child is an infant , it will not realize that Daddy's gone , an adolescent ; prepare the child for daddy's absent , do things with the child so the child will not have time to miss daddy , You will meet someone later in life who appreciates you and your child . You will have more children later in life and this marriage will all be a dream of the pass .
Be glad that this husband is good rid-dens and don't forget the child support . Good Luck , you won't need it you already got it , he's gone !!
Don't argue on visitation rights . he'll probally be having his good times then to visit . Stay busy and cry sometimes but not to much , happy days are here again for you . P.S. if he wants to visit the child , keep looking good girl ! never let a man see your pain , that's between you and God . he will fix it !

2006-12-03 02:14:02 · answer #4 · answered by Shirley M 1 · 0 0

My sister. Divorce is not an easy thing. Sometimes we have to do things we don't like. Have you prayed? I had to do this 12 years ago myself. If he isn't going to be around at home for you and your child, then you may have to consider going forward with the proceeding. Definitely you should be the custodial parent of record....this means the child lives with you and the court sets appointed visitation. You can contest visitation rights, but I feel strongly when I suggest that you don't keep his child from him because he wronged you. It isn't fair to your child.

2006-12-03 02:08:36 · answer #5 · answered by Houston Hopeful 1 · 0 0

is your husband a bad father, or just a lousy husband...if he doesn't treat your child with respect, and is not a good father, i would say get all the child support and alimony that you can. But if he's just a bad husband, and a good father, you really need to re-evaluate the harm you may do to your child, even further then your husband uprooting your lives, but that now your child will not get the love and bond from the father. I would ask as a child of a nasty divorce, to evaluate all options before making a rash decision on child visitation.

2006-12-03 02:05:40 · answer #6 · answered by mick 1 · 0 0

Just because he sucked as a husband doesnt mean he sucks as a dad... stop using your child because you're hurt. Maybe someone should contest your visitation because no mother would want her child to grow up without their dad in their life. As long as he isnt on drugs or physically/emotionally abusive to the child there is NO reason to restrict his visitation..... Whiny vindictive women like you give the rest of us logical ones a bad name. No wonder he had an affair.

2006-12-03 04:10:13 · answer #7 · answered by bobndew 3 · 0 0

The first thing you should do is get your own lawyer and make a list of questions to take with you.If you want to limit his visits you are going to need to gather evidence as to why you think he's not fit to visit with your child alone. Just remember to think about your child first through all of this. Your child is the innocent one and is going to be hurt either way when his parents are no longer together. Be sure you think about your childs future and how he'll feel as he grows up if you don't allow the father to be part of his life. Find a lawyer who will listen to you and put you and your childs needs first. I wish you the best.

2006-12-03 02:22:27 · answer #8 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0 0

You could...but do you really want to add another fatherless child to the already rapidly growing number? You've been through enough, but don't take your child away from his father--you'll be causing more damage than you realize.
Give him the divorce because keeping him around isn't going to prove anything. Keep the arguing and discussions between you two and out of hearing range of your child. And prepare yourself for a big blow.
When I went through my separation, my wife and son moved out of state and he's been having a terrible time getting used to having two parents that are no longer together.

2006-12-03 02:05:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well unless you have specific incidents of abuse, I believe most judges will grant visitation. Cheating on you, while horrible and awful, will not keep him from being allowed to visit the child. I live in Florida; the norm here is a split custody type of arrangement. In my case, my ex and I didn't want the split sitation due to his work schedule, so we do the every other weekend plan. Good luck with whatever happens.

2006-12-03 02:03:27 · answer #10 · answered by Melinda B 2 · 0 0

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