Should we have another child after remarriage?

Question

My husband and I have been marred for 1 year. We have 3 kids between us (11, 11, and 7). I want to have a baby and he isn't sure. Any advice? Has anyone else been through this?

Answer 1

Well.... It depends on the reasons that your husband is unsure. If he's unsure because he doesn't know how the kids will react, sit down and talk to the eleven-year olds, and ask them how they would feel. They're old enough to make an honest opinion that you, as parents, should heed. If they are okay with it, then go for it!

If it is because of finances, though, your husband and you need to discuss it. You guys both you how expensive it is to raise children, and if it is not affordable right now, your husband has a point in not wanting to over extend your family's finances.

It could just be the fact that your husband isn't sure that he wants to go through the sleepless nights, diapers, and daycares all over again.

Tell him that you're willing to wait, but that you want another child. As your husband, he will respect you desires, unless it will be impossible to raise another infant. Listen to all of his points on why he's not sure, and encourage him to talk to you. They may not be the answers you want to hear, but listen to him, because his points may very well be valid points, that you haven't thought of, yet.

I know how it feels to want a baby and to have to wait. I think that my husband and I would be waiting five MORE years if my birth control hadn't failed.

Just talk to him, and perhaps you guys can get this sorted out.

Answer 2

it obviously depends on your age. how long youve been together before the marriage etc.

if you feel ready then yes if your partner dosent it maybe fear. (previous divorce etc) he could also be worrying finacally or how it will affect your other children. the baby will be their half brother or sister and there maybe some resentment between sibilings if you have a child together.

i was my mums first and i have a different father to all my siblings, i got a lot of agression as i grew up because of this from them.

you need to talk to ur husband and also ask how your children would feel about this. my partner had already had a child and was very adament he didnt want a child with me. im 9wks preg and his more than excited bout it (it wasnt planned but very much wanted)
im not saying go get preg, but he may change his mind but there are other factors to consider

Answer 3

I would wait. My husbands parents had him, divorced then remarried and had another son, his brother. Anyways, they are at end with each other now, and so the boys were given to grandma untill they were old enough to be on their own. Dont have a kid to save your marriage, or try and make it better, have one because you love each other, and only if you know you will not have anything come between you and your relationship. Good luck.

Answer 4

I think you should wait because he is not sure and this baby will make 4 kids. Thats alot of kids. And since this is your second marriege (statistically) the chances for you guys staying together are slim (im not saying that you will separate) but that you should just be careful and sure because you want your child to grow up with both parents.

Answer 5

Wake up, you-ve got three kids already, don't put more financial strain on yourself, send your husband for a vasectomy and enjoy a great sexlife afterwards

Answer 6

i went though this same thing and actully i was worried about it and then i got prego and had twins and u no everything is going great.. and i went from 4 kids to 6 soo yeh.. GOOD LUCK

Answer 7

has to be a joint decision....maybe he isnt sure it can last and doesnt want to put another child through divorce..or maybe he thinks he is too old...