i'm inlove with raul. i'll do evrything for him. i was hurt, becuase i'm afraid he will leave me. he always asked for a break up once problem arises. i just do not know if he loves me. sometimes he does ,sometimes not. we are living in the same roof for a year now. i was mentally and phusically battered. i gave up everything for him ,even my self respect. before he was hot...now... he was cold.... very complicated situation/relationship we had right now.
i wanted to leave him . things changed alot. i know, it is hard for me to cope up everything. i just wanted you guys to help me how .
i'm so shattered. tired. dismayed.
please help.
2006-12-03 01:03:26 · 6 answers · asked by alone927 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay, so you know this is not about Raul... right!!!!!
This is about getting you to feel better about yourself...
After abuse, it is very hard to come back to life... you are usually damaged mentally, physically and emotionally... This is a time when you have to do some work on yourself... This should have included counselling of some sort, reading material, support groups, attendence at church and healing.. You should not have gone into a relationship until all this is done . It only complicates your life and the partner..Raul has probably not come from the same place (abuse) as you, and maybe it is too much for him to handle. He probably cares for you but is unable to deal with the whole package... It is not his fault that he runs hot and cold...
You need to get out on your own, get a job if you don't have one, go back to school and get an education if you don't have one and live on your own until you find your way through this terrible past of yours...
You will never have a solid relationship with anyone is you are not ready for it... Your soul has been bruised and battered and you need emotional support from someone who will make no demands of you.
You shouldn't do everything for any man, as he will loose respect for you and take advantage of your kindness. You always need to leave a bit of mystery in a relationship and keep your self worth and self preservation in the forefront...
It doesn't mean you can't do for each other, if it is reciprocal then okay, but if it is one sided why would you continue to do it???...
Self respect plays a very big part here and you need to find yours again and you need to heal...
You can break it off amicably and not fight and spit at each other like fighting cats... Let him know you need this time to get better.. I am sure he will understand...
If he is not happy , too bad... this is about your survival and that is the most important thing here. Start the journey to get your life back.....
2006-12-03 01:18:16 · answer #1 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, stop living on emotion. You may think you love this guy now but I dont think he is the one for you! If he uses a break-up for every problem you have then he isnt very mature and cannot handle emotional situations like an adult. I think what you need to do (and I am speaking from experience) is to get your life together ALONE. Do not get involved with Raul or anyone else. Think about what you want out of your life and take some REAL steps to getting there. Stay away from dating for awhile until you can honestly be happy alone (this may take months, years but you have to learn to be happy alone before you can be happy with someone else)...then later when you are thinking more clearly and without being emotional, you can make better decisions based on what YOU want- you dont have to accept anything in your life! Dont allow others to dictate how they are going to treat you...you either accept it or not. When you start valuing yourself more, people will see that and you will attract the opposite sex..men who value YOU!
2006-12-03 09:26:40 · answer #2 · answered by Phoenix 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all you have to get your self esteem back. think of you only stop doing things for him and others you have to do it for yourself. if your tired then move on either he leaves or you go.stop being the victem here. stand up for your rights don't let anyone put you down. and start liking yourself. you can't expect others to like you, if you don't like yourself. there are other guys out there that will treat you with respect that you deserve. but you have to like yourself first good luck. for your boyfriend now tell him to hit the road jack.
2006-12-03 09:20:18 · answer #3 · answered by misty blue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You gotta make sure your happy inside and out . Everybody is ment to be treated the best but if your not then LEAVE him.RESPECT your self so kick him to the curb.Men aren't suppose to make ya lose respect f_ _ _ that. Its an unsafe relationship
2006-12-03 09:18:04 · answer #4 · answered by Ruthanne 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to threaten to leave my ex practically every time I got mad at him. He told me to quit threatening to leave. Either leave or don't. Tell your bf to leave or stay, but stop the threats.
2006-12-03 09:08:19 · answer #5 · answered by Beth T 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you are tired jus move on but stop the threats
2006-12-03 09:51:09 · answer #6 · answered by jasmine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋