Equilibrium in the universe?

Question

After 18 years of marriage, my ex left me to marry his secretary, who was also married and left her ex after 25 years of marriage. These two people destroyed two families and caused a lot of pain not only to me and her ex but also to four children from both sides. When I tell my story in details to some people, they tell me there is something called 'equilibrium in the universe' meaning, when someone does you harm, the universe gets unbalanced and tries to find its own balance. So as that can happen, the person who did you wrong will get back with the same intensity.

I have hoped my ex to divorce his current wife as both tried to build up their happiness on at least 6 people's misery. It is very difficult to forget, specially when my children have been living with them and they do not have a good relationship with his new wife.

Answer 1

There are reasons for why everything has happened. If you really look back from the beginning, you might recall certain actions that would later cause other actions, from you and your ex-husband. My advice from being in that same boat, is to move on and only worry about your own life and your children's lives. His own actions now will cause his own reactions later.

Answer 2

I empathise with what you are saying but I have no confidence in the 'what goes around comes around' theory. For sure the misery and ongoing woe can be very deep and real but you have to be in control of your own emotions and move on, however seemingly impossible that may sound right now. I do not subscribe to the theory that two people can live in happiness for ever ( although it happens ) but I do believe that happiness is obtainable when you decide what you want and simply look for it. You can be happy again .... don't live in the past ..... look for your own happiness now, it is your right. And if you are truly open minded and all accepting, your life can change around. I have gone from the deepest gloom to the sunniest days, just be valuing true acceptance in my life and taking a chance on my future happiness. Simply open that door to a happier life .... and don't look back!

Answer 3

So what do YOU mean by equilibrium? The universe is 13.7 billion years old...can you wait that long, for "things" to come back to equilibrium steady state?

Answer 4

It is understandable to be angry and resetnful. Grief, loss, all have to be dealt with.

After some time, however, these resentments are not hurting him, but you.

Here is a little about me: I used to hold resentments forever. Long after they needed to be let go. This was at least partly responsible for alcohol abuse, high blood pressure and high stress for me. I worked on myself for a while, learning to let go of the resentments. These people had free rent in my head. They kept going on about their lives. They probably didn't remember me. But I let my anger eat away at me.

I found that the best revenge is moving on.

Someone taught me the "resentment prayer". This thing works whether you are religious, spiritual, or atheist, agnostic, Etc. It works on the same principle you speak of-that the universe tends to equalize itself. Here goes:

Whenever I am resentful at someone, I pray for them to receive all of the things I want for myself. Peace of mind, love, money, whatever. I pray for that person's greatest good. When I send out these good thoughts, good thoughts return to me and I am blessed. If I do this for 21 days straight, the resentment goes away. There is a side effect to this. I have had good results every time I tried it. Read on:

This is just one example-there are many more: I used to have a boss that was a real pain. The man hired me for my experience and expertize. But he constantly second-guessed my decisions. Kept looking over my shoulder. Drove me nuts. Now, basically, I wanted him to be run over by a bus and be out of my life. But I tried the resentment prayer on him.

After a while, he did not get run over by a bus. But he got a latteral promotion out of my department. I had not thought about the consequences of him being run over- his kids, his wife, his family would suffer (a whole lot of people). But with this promotion, he was out of my hair. His family did not suffer. I felt better and could do my job better.

I have tried it many times. The result is always what is best for all, not just my little selfish wishes. And I end up feeling better and my life continues to improve. Try it. IF, after 21 days, you find it does not work, you can have your missery back. :-)

Answer 5

I can understand what you are saying.

I have been angry at my husband for years about the crap he's pulled with me and I am starting to relax because I realize that Karma will kick him in the nuts sooner or later. What goes around comes around.

Answer 6

I believe what goes around comes around, but i also think you need to forgive. He will get what is coming to him, but you need to let go. It's not fair to you and your children to have all this anguish between the two of you. You need to search yourself and find your way to peace. It takes time, nobody says it will happen overnight.

Answer 7

Stop wallowing - even with your chosen name - time to move on and enjoy life again x