Would you be really upset if your parents told you that you were adopted?

Question

we see on tv all the time how kids get devestated when they find out, and run away from home end never talk to their parents again.
whether this is just dramatic because of the sitcoms i don't know.
but say if you were a teenager, would you be raving mad?
i wouldn't!

Answer 1

To be told that you are adopted as a teenager is absolutely devastating. It turns your whole life upside down. All relationships, even with parents have to be re-evaluated, and it often puts into perspective parental conduct towards your siblings, who you find are your "parents" natural children. You find that you are treated as a second class citizen by both your immediate and extended family. There is also a destructive sense of rejection by your natural parent. From personal experience, i would either wish to be told as soon as i could understand or never at all.

Answer 2

I think,initially,I would be in shock. Devastated? No. But very curious as to who my birth parents were,and why I was given up.

I had a son when I was 19,and gave him up for adoption as I knew it was the best thing I could do for him. We were reunited 2 years ago (the best birthday present I ever had!!!) and he told that from around the age of 3,he always had a feeling he was adopted. At 12,he asked his mother outright-she told him the truth,and they began looking for me. It took them 6 years,because I had moved to England-and they hadn't checked with the International Registry. But he told me he felt lucky-and I was lucky,because his family told him how much I loved him and that I didn't want to let him go.
It's different for everyone though-some may react dramatically. I know some adoptees that refuse to know anything about their birth parents because they feel they never wanted them in the first place-and they feel angry.

Answer 3

Nobody can really answer that question unless they are in that situation.

I am sure that it would be a huge shock to most kids.
The only factors determining their reaction would be...
How much do they love their adoptive parents?
And what sort of an up bringing did they receive?

Most kids however do not discover this until their late teen
As they are almost adults, it is not as devastating as it would be on a 10 or 12 year old.

Answer 4

If a child finds out that he/she is adopted when they have always believed themselves to be with their natural parents, they are bound to be devastated. It means that everything which they have been told by their parents is suspect. How can they trust their parents again?
On the other hand, if the parents were to tell the child, right from the beginning that they are adopted, even from an age when you wouldn't expect the child to understand, it will never come as a shock to them.
It can even be used to advantage by telling the child that they were chosen because they were so special.

Answer 5

The time to tell a child is when they are very young so they will grow up with the knowledge and have nobig shocks. When very young they may not grasp the full understanding of it butat least know the word and that somehow it makes then different......secret is in making that different feel like special.
So no I would notbe upset......but it is something to deal with nevertheless.

Answer 6

I'm 39 now I'm still not convinced I belong to that family. If I had been told I was adopted as a teenager, I'm sure I would have got on better with them. I'd have thanked them for proving I haven't got any of their genes.

Answer 7

My parents didn't tell me I was adopted, it was left to someone who told me by accident. I was upset. I thought that if I could not trust them then who could I trust. I cried a little but as it was 33 yrs ago I am over it.

Answer 8

It would be a relief,
My dad lives with my violent ex hubby and my mum still lives with her boyfriend who when I 13 dragged me up the stairs by my hair, he also sexually assaulted my sister.
My mum used to bring her bit on the side to my flat for sex while I was at college.

Needless to say I don't talk to any of them.

Answer 9

Absolutely not. I would know the bio mom wouldn't have given me up unless she absolutely had to; at least she had the sense not to have an abortion, it takes a lot of guts to give up a baby. I would be eternally grateful to my real parents who raised me.

Answer 10

no one should be angry. first, because the adopted one should be happy because a family who doesn't know him/her accepted her and treated her as a family member. But if the family who adopted him/her treated her bad then i can't help it if the person will get mad or something. and it really depends on the person.