How can I get back the money I lent to a (not any longer) friend?

Question

One month ago I lent £500 to a (so I believed) friend in financial distress.He said I'd have it back in one week.I owed him a big favour and I would never imagine he'd ever cheat me, so I accepted.
One month has passed and he's been making up all sorts of excuses, including 'My housemate didn't get paid yet', 'I wasn't able to work for three days', 'I lost my bank card', 'My dad was supposed to come and give me money but he didn't because of the weather' and lies of the same sort.
Every time we had arranged to meet for him to pay back at least part of the debt, he never showed up and didn't pick up my calls.
Last night I've been knocking on his door and although he was obviously in he didn't come to open.
Now,I don't think he's a cheat.He is just a ******* idiot with his money that bloody deserves to be broke.
As soon as this thing is settled I will severe all connections with him.
But first I need my cash back.
Before I threaten him with a solicitor, is there any advice you can give?

Oh yes, and I'll seriously NEED that money myself very soon. Now I'm in trouble myself because of his idiocy.
I told him several times about the urgency but he keeps on jerking me around.

And well, the only proof I could produce is the bank record of having withdrawn said amount in cash shortly after I got a phone call from him as can be proven by my mobile operator.
I think this is not solid enough evidence though.

Oh yes and did I mention he is a benefit thief and also obviously in breach of his tenancy contract? How about threatening him with reporting him to the police or council?

Answer 1

Sometimes we just want to help people. We do this to feel good but there are times when we just can't afford to help and we all need to have a real life experince in order to learn our limitations. ( i also learned my lesson the hard way, but the hard way always sticks) If it was so importat he would ask a family member (if they say 'no' maybe its because they know better)

Money and violence provides us with short cuts

Money provided you with a short cut to help a friend. violence/threats may bring you your money but at a great cost.

1. dont cut off your nose to spite your face.
1a. education education education is expensive!
2. his loss is bigger than yours.
3. are small claims worht the hassle?
4. what can you GAIN from your loss?
5. tally up as you earn.

1. there are a lot of silly answers here, which could get YOU into far more trouble than he is in and you probably still wont have your cash.
If you grass him up and he knows it's you, he may seek a nasty revenge. And if you threaten him in anyway, you will start a vendeta. You dont need this. You need £500.

1a. You probably know better now and have learned you lesson; never lend what you cannot afford to give away. you need to think up phrases like "im so sorry i would love to help you but I'm so skint" even lie about debt but dont lend large sums to anyone you re not a bank and your financial situation is private. say you have a massive overdraft to pay off and are trying to cope with what you have. If people ask for money say "i was going to ask you the same thing actually"

The amout of work you now have to do to rectify your situation is in context with how important the lesson you have learned is and this experience will help you to remember the lesson.

2. This person has yet to learn about loss of friends, which is less tangible and therefore less noticable than loss of hard earned cash (not hat he would know the meaning of hard earned). It's better for him to feel that he has lost a really valuable person than a grasss which will prove to him what he already suspects: that other humans are as underhand as he is.

3. If you take him to the small claims court you need to be able to provide solid evidence and i dont think you have enough. check out also whether or not you will have to pay legal fee if you lose.

4. So you need to find a way of earning the £500. This will benefit you in the long run as you will gain experience and maybe even more money and real, honest friends, who work.

While you are earning this money think about why you are doing it but not in an angry way think this: "i am working overtime/this paper round/ this weekend, because this guy, came to teach me how to say no when i am not able to help this will inform my future decisions"

your perception of people will change as you earn your cash back and you will be a better judge of character and money manager.

5. keep you payslips. tally and when you have earned £500 (could be a long time but will be satisfying)you are free and anything else is a bonus.

so this is a tally of what you could gain:

New friends £priceless
money management skills £1000s if your future is in finance.
extra confidence £80 hypnotherapy
savvy £1000s saved
judgement £unlimitted
practical job skills £4000/year min, unlimitted
cutting off an idiot £another £500
secretly grassing him up anywa in the future if you like £satisfaction.

Answer 2

First... you should have thought about all the bad things he was before lending him the money.

Second...I would say that he did con you into giving him the money.

Third... a month is not very long to come up with 500 pounds. Particulary when you are broke. What was he going to do with the money anyway?

The only way you'll get that money back is to find something on him which will scare him into paying you back.
Harrassing him won't work either. He'll just ignore you.
You have to do something to upset him so that he takes notice.
But you also have to be careful that he don't turn nasty and use violence against you.

A solicitor will cost you more money and it won't help you.

Answer 3

Unless you have proof that you loaned him the money, you probably won't be able to have someone represent you in court as it's your word against his.

Take it as an expensive lesson and move on.

NEVER loan money to friends or relatives. It's not good business and almost always causes problems. If they were a good risk they would go to a lending institution and not you to begin with which should tell you much right there about you're ever getting your money back.

Answer 4

The desire to learn is a good step to making money online. The next step is to look for free resources that will give you the correct information that you'll need to get started. You can check out here http://moneyonline.toptips.org

It gives free training on how to make money online

Answer 5

I think maybe you need to let this go. I know you said you need the money but it's obvious he is a scoundrel and a very selfish person. He tries everything to avoid you! I don't think you will see that money again.

I personally only lend people money if, firstly I can afford it and secondly if I think the person won't pay me back that I'll be ok with that. Otherwise, I don't lend money.

I do believe in karma, what goes around comes around. I do believe that he'll get his one day.

Answer 6

Try taking him to county court as £500 is a lot to loan someone and not get back, it can be done online by clicking this link. It'll only cost you £30 and most people pay up fast once they have had a letter from county court.
https://www.moneyclaim.gov.uk/csmco2/index.jsp
Don't worry about your destroying friendship with this person, it sounds like it's over now anyway as you could never trust him again after this. Good luck.

Answer 7

Make him an offer he can't refuse. I'm led to believe the going rate for "persuasive recovery" is between 20 and 30% of the take. You might not get all of your money back but you'll have the pleasure of putting the fear of God into him!

Answer 8

I would personally go round and tell him if half the debt was not payed by the end of the week i would report him for benefit fraud. and if all the debt was not cleared in afortnight i would let his employer and everyone else now what a low life tosser this person is!

Answer 9

Never give people money, unless you're gonna get something in writing. Your friend is probably laughing at you - & if he wasn't that much of a friend, why were you even lending him money in the first place?

You've learned an expensive lesson. I doubt you'll ever see that money again.

Answer 10

Legally its hard to prove, my guess is you'll never see the money again unless he's a good man of his word. I've lent money to friends and some have paid me back, but its taken months, others I've never seen again.

Sorry about that.