Should I take him back?

Question

My husband spends a lot of his time at work with a woman who does not even work in the same dept. as he does. He leaves his dept. to go sit with her for hours. He calls her on her job. She always doing little favors for him. Everybody is always saying this woman sleeps around with everyone. He says they're just friends. There is a rumor that he is/was messing around with her really close friend. I found the friends cell # hidden in his phone once. (That was before we got married ) However, he still spends hours with the woman at work. I have told him about it time after time, still he's in the woman's company. "She's just a friend nothing is going on" So we got into really bad and he left. Now he wants to come home.

Answer 1

He has been having at least an emotional affair with this woman if not more than emotional.

If he wants to come home, there can be "no contact" with this woman in the future. Not at work, not by phone or email, plain and simple...no contact.

Answer 2

Well, he doesn't sound like he's very dependable. Or truthful. You know he is willing to cheat you and lie about it. Let him come home. Evaluate his behaviors. If he can make responsible decisions that benefit your family, then great. If you see the same irresponsible behaviors, then you know you have to have conversation about how you guys are going to break up.

If you do decide to let him come home, discussion regarding his choices should not happen. Treat him in the manner which you would treat a worthy man. As if he was the husband you desire. Do not bring up the past. Give him a clean slate, after a doctor has cleared him of STD's. DO PREVENT A PREGNANCY!!!

Give him some time.

Observe his judgement and decision making. If you were your best friend would you want you in this relationship?

Answer 3

This is a typical pattern when a man looks for greener pastures. Then they find out that there are a lot of advantages to the marriage thing, including security, and more. Then they wanna come back. He is playing you. If he has not been willing to stop seeing this woman up until now, that will probably not change. Get a lawyer.

Answer 4

FIrst of all, go with your gut. Men and women both cheat, this is true. When men cheat, it's usually for the sex, and they normally want to keep the relationship that makes them comfortable while receiving "favors" from other women. When women cheat, it's because they are over the relationship they are in and wish to be in another relationship. I would advise marriage counselling. If he's not willing to see it through with you, then he's not too concerned with bettering things. Regardless of people's opinions about divorce, if you've giving 100% and he's not giving back 100%, it can't work. And although people talk constantly about unconfirmed rumors, perhaps these people are seeing something you're not seeing.

Answer 5

I respect that you had a problem with this woman. Even if they are "just friends," if you don't feel comfortable with it, he has to respect that. Should he come home? I really hate divorce and want marriage to work, but you also need to feel secure and respected. If he promises that his friendship with this chick is over and can show and not just tell...then you guys should try again. Maybe get some counseling to work on issues around trust and respect. But don't settle...get what you need.

Answer 6

I say stand up for your self and tell him you wont stand for it, it's not ok to be spending all your time with another women, ask your self a few questions like will it Continue, then think about if your going to be happy if the two of you get back together or if it will be the same s***! Remember you need to be happy too

Answer 7

By the sounds of it u have never eally resolved the issue of wat happened b4 u got married.... i can see thou how that happenin has made u insecure.... i think a couple of things have to happen if u want to take him back...1- lay down the rule that u don't want him to be spendin all his time at work with this chick..... 2- if u are willin to take him back u need to work on the insecurities u have and try to let him build the trust up again.... this won't work if none of u are willin to give and compromise a little bit..... but please make sure it is what u want to do b4 u do it...... GOODLUCK

Answer 8

You know really, if you love him & he loves you what's the problem? This maybe "exactly" what he says it is "nothing".
Before you throw your marriage away, give it a chance and investigate a bit. Don't be like my wife and jump to the first worst conclusion you can. Men and women can be friends, they don't have to be bumpin' ugly's to enjoy each others company. Take your man back into the house and grow up, you people aren't school children at recess.

Answer 9

my dad did this.
he worked with a woman years ago and they were always close. when he bumped into other workmates in town at weekends he would always ask if they had seen her. they would always answer by asking how my mum was.
she would ring if he had a day off saying she needed his help. he would always help.
sometimes he would pretend that the alarm was going off at work and he needed to go and stop it.

one day one of my dads workmates came round and told my mum she needed to see something and to get into the car.
he drove to the ofice building and my dad had has trousers round his feet and her top was undone.

she had also been sleeping with the boss.
she quickley transfered over 200 miles away.

if i was you based on that story and what you have said i would NEVER let him back.

Answer 10

Tell him if he doesn't leave her alone you're leaving him. What kind of man would think of any woman other than the one they're with now?