awkward situation?

Question

I am an English woman, married with two kids living in France. Last week my dentist followed me home from the school run, overtook me, waved me down in the road and basically told me he was obsessed with me, had a photo of me... other embarrassing stuff. I was kind but firm and told him I was happily married and there was no future.
Two problems - I have an appointment to see him, second problem, his lovely wife works at my daughter's school.
I feel a bit stressed an angry - I don't know how the culture works here, but you don't go stalking people like that and I don't feel I even know him very well.
Do I avoid him, do I tell his wife or do I go for my appointment and tell him he obviously has problems at home and needs to sort them out?
I am quite brave, but want to do the right thing. My gut feeling is that he seemed so confident he's done this before - UGH! Advice would be really appreciated.

Answer 1

Well ma'am, I would not ever go to an appointment with him ever again because jealous is on of the worst things that man has discovered. Hi wife, that's a tough issue. Has he approached you since or has he talked to you since that day? If yes then tell her if no then wait and see if he contacts you again. Don't be scared that his wife works at the school. Be happy you can get a hold of her. People especially men do strange things when jealousy is in play so yes avoid him. Don't make it obvious that your are but do. And yes tell your husband. He can give great help unless he is the extreme type to take physical action. If he is a gentle man then defiantly tell him. The longer you keep it a secret from him the worse it will get for you and could create an unstable marriage due to trust. It's always worse to find out things on your own than to be told about it.

Answer 2

First go to the appt if he says anything to you about being obsessed you can always say to him, in a very nice way, that if he can't get over you like yesterday then he had better bring his wife around so that you incuding your husband( have you got one?) can all sit down and sort his problem out. This hopefully will put him off. Other then that change your dentist best of luch

Answer 3

The first thing is to stop going to him - find another dentist! I would just ignore him now, you said you were firm and clear so leave it at that. I would tell my husband as would want his support on this. As for his wife, well, it is none of your business what he gets up to - if she was a close friend then you may have to tell her but as it is just keep it to yourself - she may not appreciate hearing what you might have to say about her husband.

And just keep away from him. If he does it again tell him you will make a complaint to the police for stalking, nothing else!

Answer 4

Change your dentist, seek legal advice, tell him you will tell his wife if he doesn't get off your back... tell your husband and avoid even speaking to him when alone. If he follows you again, use your mobile and call the local police.

Do you really need to ask?

I was stalked when young and grabbed and pulled inside a shop doorway as I left my work place... I was sixteen he was about eighteen... we were both unworldly and it went on for many years, with me too scared to tell anyone except my new husband when I married... eventually he married too and my husband's presence slowed him down. Years years down the line, he stopped me in the street and apologised... he grew up... your stalker is older, married and dangerous.

You are older and know better than to keep this to yourself. And you know better than to make excuses for him... unless you fancy boiled rabbit in your home... do something fast!

Answer 5

I would start by getting a new dentist and trying never to see him again. He's liable to give you gas in the chair and pull all of your teeth! Or he could be molesting you in his office if he gasses you, or worse! If he continues, tell your husband and call the police, make a report Keep track of every time he does this, with times, places and dates, like a diary. The US takes that very seriously.

Answer 6

Cancel the appointment, Tell your husband, Find a new dentist. And only tell his wife when she asks what is wrong. Stay away from this man. If he is obsessed he could hurt you. Contact the authorities if he keeps it up! Stay safe.

Answer 7

Keep it to yourself for a while but definitely change dentist even though the dentist's wife will wonder why. He'll get the message and in all probability will cool off, I don't believe he would want his wife to get wind of his silly behavior.

Answer 8

In my opinion you should immediately cut all ties with this fruit cake. He definitely has a problem that goes deeper than just being obsessed with you, and continuing to see him may convey a message to him that he has a chance of being with you.
As far as his wife, I would not tell her just yet, maybe as far as she knows they are happily married. If you quit using him as a dentist then he continues to 'stalk' you at the school or at your work or house then you should definitely tell her. And if it goes that far maybe a restraining order would help.

Answer 9

Find a new dentist tell your husband and deal with as a famliy. If he trys anything else talk the police they should be the best people to talk to about him stalking you. dont let him get you down ask yourself how did he get the photo and the other embarrassing stuff?

Answer 10

You need to cancel the appointment.

Then you need to report him to the local authorities. He is in a position of trust, which he has obviously abused. Where will it stop? He presumably has your home 'phone number so he could call you there!

You don't need to tell his wife, but you do need to take steps to protect yourself & your family from this man, & also other unsuspecting women who are his patients.