How can I make him like me more than just a freind? Please help me, I really like him.?

Question

I met this guy on a matrimonial website in july 2006.I was in manchester from abroad at that time. he was in london. we talked every night for about 3 months, after which, due to my insistance, I went down to london to meet him. I was more keen to meet him before i went back home. It was a lovely meeting. as if we knew each other for ages. we were extremely comfortable in each other;s presense. My circumstances were so unfortunate, that i cud barely have a cup of coffee with him. I had to rush back to manch. after that, he kept on saying that he will come down to see me but he was too busy with his business or so he said. now I am back in my country and we are still in touch. meaning, calls once a week, or fortnight. have msn chats etc. Ive signalled to him that i like him and he told me that he likes me too, ive told him that i want to get serious about things. but he tells me that lets b frends first , c how it goes. Im 30 never been in a relationship .i feel that hes the one

Answer 1

Honestly, Im a little confused about where each of you lives, but the best thing to do if you really want to be with him is to do what he wants, be his friend but make sure he knows how you feel, just dont pressure him, most guys, myself included, hate being pressured, Im actually suffering through a similar situation myself right now and I know its hard, trust me its killing me, but the best thing to do is give him his space and his wishes and trust in whatever you beleive in, perhaps he just wants to make sure the communication will continue, so to summarize, just be there for him and give him his time and things will work out

Answer 2

Give him time darlin', the longer you work at a friendship the stronger the relationship will be. Look you can't meet someone face to face once and expect a relationship, Don't CARE how long you spend chatting on line. You need that physical presence, that emotional depth comes from touching and observing. So I think on the 3rd or 4th meeting you two will be an item, You would have shared experiences and time, real time, as a couple. It's alright talking through technology but what about touch, you can only tell, as a guy, if you like someone by their sent, smile, eyes and touch. Really words are not enough.

Answer 3

I can understand your frustration but it is difficult to maintain a relatonship from different parts of the world...For example, my brother lives across the country from me nd his girlfriend lives in Europe...when he lived in the New England region of the US, there was a six hour time difference and now there is a nine hour difference...they only see each other, two times a year...he takes her everywhere and spends a lot of money on her when either he goes to Poland or she comes here to the US...when she was here this past summer, it was just before my wedding (number two for both me and my husband) and when my brother tried to see if his girlfriend would like a ring like mine, she sheepishly smirked and turned away...I feel she doesn't want to marry him...and she is definitely not willing to give up her life in Poland...

I am happy he has found someone who makes him happy but I am also unhappy because I feel she is using him...

Maybe your special guy doesn't want to give up the life has where he is and/or doesn't seem the plausability of maintaning a relatonship with such a distance...

As for being friends first, that is a smart thing to do...my husband and I were friends for just over three and a half years before we explored our feelings to further things along...and although we thought we knew how our feelings were growing as our friendship was growing, we waited...and even after we became a couple, we were a couple for almost three and a half years before we got engaged...the only thing that moved fast was that it was only four months and a 1 day from the time we got engaged to the time we got married...

Good luck!

PS I am 41 and my brother is 44

Answer 4

I personally don't think that long distance relationships work, maybe he does not want to get to involved because you both live so far away. If you really like him try and see him again. If he is really so busy with his business its unlikely that if he was the one he would be giving up his London life to live with you. I thing the best thing to do is to try your best to get to see him in person quickly. Also make sure he has not found someone else!

Answer 5

Do you think he's found someone else he's interested in at his end? Maybe you should just slow down a bit and see how this friendship develops... maybe this is what he wants to do for now. I don't think you can ever make someone to like more than a friend unless they feel the same way about you as you do about them... feeling's got to be mutual. And don't worry about being 30 and single.

Answer 6

well if you ask me, he is concerned with the fact that you live so far away.
lets face it, another town or city is a long distance but abroad ? are you prepared to move over here to be with him if he wanted to be more then friends?
give up what you have there i.e. friends n family?

he has a business which he will be very reluctant to give up.
you need to really think about the situation you are in.

I was in a similar situation but neither of us were prepared to make the sacrifice.

Answer 7

Take the bull by the horns and tell him straight. Tell him exactly what you want and that you're not in the game for just a pen pal. Yes, there's a risk that he may head for the hills, but at least you'll know where you stand. Look on the bright side, you may just get what you want for Christmas.

Answer 8

dont rush in with both feet..see how things develope..he might already be in a partnership..

Answer 9

well first of all tel him how you feel.. and like then get to know him more. open up and hopefully he will open up too

Answer 10

tell him how you feel