Is tearing naturally and having stitches better than not tearing at all?

Question

I have this assumption in my head that if you don't tear when giving birth you will have this stretched out gaping hole forever. I know that if you tear the doctor will stitch you up and most of the time give you an extra stitch or two known as the "daddy stitch" but if you aren't stitched up what is it like after?

Answer 1

Stay away from those octogenarian doctors, please.

Found on-line:

"Some evil, evil doctors came up with the daddy stitch. The idea behind it is to stitch up the skin near the perineum tighter than it was before, "for the daddy." The thing is, it's a nightmare for the woman. There have been cases of women who were sewn up so tight that they can't even fit more than one finger in there. If you try to fit more in there than is comfortable, you can rip her skin which is extremely painful. Also, it's a myth that it makes them feel tighter and younger. The inside, the vagina, remains the same and that's the part you feel the most."

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/archive/index.php/t-23483.html

More reliable info:

"Myth: A nice clean cut is better than a jagged tear.
Reality: "Like any surgical procedure, episiotomy carries a number of risks: excessive blood loss, haematoma formation, and infection. . . . There is no evidence . . . that routine episiotomy reduces the risk of severe perineal trauma, improves perineal healing, prevents fetal trauma or reduces the risk of urinary stress incontinence." Sleep, Roberts, and Chalmers 1989"

Much more at: http://www.efn.org/~djz/birth/obmyth/epis.html

Answer 2

With my first baby I had a little tear; no big deal it healed.
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With my second I think the doctor did end up giving me a stich or two. ( She was in a hurry because the cord was blocking my sons way out, on his neck! He was fine and she did a good job in my opinion)
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With this one Im about to have, Im older, smarter, more educated and in tune with my body. Im NOT going to have the baby in the semi-sitting position they 'suggest- and traditionaly use in the hospital. This leads to higher risk of tearing and/or stitches.

I suggest to lay on the left side, be hands and knees or be in a supported squat. My doctor said I can hang from the rafters if I want.
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Whatever, it heals, nobody gets gaping holes or needs extra stitches. I think your basic assumption is wrong. It all heals up either way.

Answer 3

believe me, no stitches are way better. episiotomies (sp?) are not even needed if the doctor knows what they're doing. my doc was tipsy when i delivered my first baby. (he came from a xmas party) he decided to do an episiotomy while i dosing, and not in any pain...i came up off that table and kicked him on the forehead, and across the room, which resulted in him cutting me way too deep and far. i've had other doctors, over the years tell me i need surgery to repair the damage, but i'm gonna do it. after 29 years, it is still painful at times. there are exercises you can do after birthing, that will get you back in shape...you're not going to have a "gaping hole." make sure you don't have your babies closer than 2 years apart too, that will also help your body be fully recovered.

Answer 4

I had stiches because they cut me. It is NOT good to tear at all, as it is higher risk of infection and the wound doesnt close as well, more scarring too. My husband says he notices no diffrence from me having it done, everything is the same as before. I cant do kegals due to my bladder issues and everything turned out fine. They also dont do the daddy stitch, atleast most doctors dont.That is an old wives tale. They only stich what is required, anything else is medical unnessecary

Answer 5

To put it bluntly I couldn't move, sit right or even go to the bathroom right after having my daughter because of the way that I teared.

No stitches are good stitches!

Answer 6

You will actually feel your body going back to shape. Not to worry you are not left with a hole big enough to pass a watermelon through. Not all women tear or need an episiotomy (sic). A clean safe cut is better than an ugly tear.

Answer 7

Its terrible that we as women worry with this. But the "Daddy stitch" is a load of sh*t. Most men of average or larger size do not feel any or very much difference. Its the women who can feel the difference mostly. And this is why it is important to do your kegel exercises. One helps to push the baby out, as well as quicker healing time after delivery.

kmennie, evil doctor is right, but you left out teeny weeny evil doctor.

Answer 8

I had a fourth degree laceration. Trust me if you can avoid from tearing or being cut, you want too. This was very painful. and then you have a sitz bath and spray you need to numb the pain. your body will go back to the way it was after birth. Just give yourself time to heal.

Answer 9

it's fine, no gaping hole unless it was a gaping hole before. the stitches do nothing for the tightness of the cooch.