For less? If you are already in a relationship or married, but you are more compatible and attracted to someone else, is it wrong to end the current relationship to establish a new one? Or should you stay and be only partially as happy as you really could be?
2006-12-02 20:34:29 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You'll do it again and again, until your too old and ugly to get anyone else,,so beware
2006-12-02 21:05:29 · answer #1 · answered by sophie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh, man. Why in the hell are you married in the first place? Didn't you read the vows? Or better yet, didn't you already know yourself well enough to know that this kind of commitment might pose a problem for you? What's with people who get into committed relationships these days and then when they find someone else "more compatible or attractive", they believe it's okay to just move on? The heart wants what the heart wants and what-not, right? O, I guess I'm asking questions rather than answering yours. Well, you tell US...were you thinking you were settling for less when you got married in the first place? What changed? And why are you even asking US unless you feel you could just be at some sort of emotional crossroads, some marital dilemma, fueled simply by the natural fact that of course, over time, everyone, married or not, is going to feel like the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. That's why you should never marry someone unless you know for sure you are ready for marriage and all it entails. Sexual temptation being one of them. As long as there are other people, there's going to be some sort of temptation. It's the reasons you got married in the first place, and to the person you got married to, that's supposed to help you weather these temptations. Now, you decide. Are you truly settling for less? Or are you just going through some essential personal doubts you should discuss with your spouse?
2006-12-03 04:48:27 · answer #2 · answered by dangerouspoet 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is always a mistake to decide on a current relationship based on potential with someone else. The question should simply be: is the current relationship working or is it not? There will always be interesting and attractive people out there. Sometimes the attraction is to the mystery and the forbidden nature of the new relationship. This mystique goes away really quickly, and is not worth the sacrifice of a relationship that is working. Check out the lyrics to the LeAnn Womack song about a couple who ended their relationships and settled into a new relationship with each other: "I'd Rather Have What We Had." The words are:
Sneaking around with me
Or being tied down with me
Which one would you rather have?
Dying to be with me
Or watching TV with me
Is this what we wanted so bad?
I'd rather have what we had.
2006-12-03 04:50:41 · answer #3 · answered by - 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since your in this situation, i think no one should be blame not even yourself or the other men you love, because I assume in the first place you never intend to fall in love with someone else, besides before you marry your husband I'm pretty sure you were so sure that you love him at that time. We, as a third person and a listener can never really judge or say anything against you, your marriage or your love for someone else. Only you can really answer that question, you need a lot of time to think and a lot of space to realize what you really want in life. "IF" there is no kids involve, it's really ok to decide on what you want, it's easy to talk to your husband etc. But when there is kids involve, it would be really be so selfish of you to think of how you feel alone, because it's not fair to them, it's not really their choice to be born in this family, for every mistakes that elders do, its the kids who suffered the most. Just a friendly advice, before doing anything or something (when there is kids involve) always think of your kids first before yourself. What I've said is just an advice, because in the end its still the decision of you and your husband shall prevail.
2006-12-03 05:30:59 · answer #4 · answered by *Pretty Pink* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Learn how to be content, happiness is only temporary. Stick with what you know, you may think that the grass is greener on the other side until you actually get to the other side. Why open yourself up for problems when you don't have to? Can't seem to get used to introducing myself to some one new and feeling the jitters, being afraid to eat in front of them. All the crazy things I have already conquered are behind me, don't want to conquer them again!
2006-12-03 10:26:41 · answer #5 · answered by Special K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't you ever settle down for something less when you can have better ..... human beings are selfish in nature and would never build up a false happiness ... if you are 100% sure that you won't be the happiest ever , then don't go there ......... always look for the BEST ...
2006-12-03 04:48:28 · answer #6 · answered by MoonLight 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm maybe you are settling or maybe you are not....If the other person was the perfect one for you...I don't think you would need to ask the question....BTW nothing is perfect so I think we all settle somehow....we all have the unlived love the I wish I would have or didn't have in our life.....maybe we shouldn't but we do :-( Maybe we all need to stop worrying about what people think and just live and be selfish now that's something you can only do if your single without kids..
2006-12-03 04:40:41 · answer #7 · answered by lol_des 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NOPE.
Never settle for less. Of course sometimes less is more, but oh well.
Make your bed and sleep in it!
Why end the 1st relationship by the way? You should just do them both until one finds out about the other.
Get your cake and eat it too!
2006-12-03 04:35:58 · answer #8 · answered by cruddypantz 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if you are MARRIED and espcially if there are children involved you should do everything you can to make things work
lust fades so you have to build something stronger or you will always find someone more attractive around the corner
2006-12-03 04:57:14 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know thats a really good question to be asking. hubby & I split up, for awhile, not long, but i was seeing someone else, and this guy was great, he understood me, made me laugh, etc, well hubby wanted to get back with me, so i got back with him, maybe i shouldnt have because i miss the other guy.
2006-12-03 05:14:14 · answer #10 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you see with this other person isn't really what you get! Remember how your spouse was when you first met her? Things change- everyone changes. I'm just living with it and try every once in a while to rekindle the fire.
2006-12-03 04:36:31 · answer #11 · answered by laylamarie2003 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋