In what way does it help the spouse to learn of their spouses infidelity?
It seems that the sole purpose of the confession syndrome is to make the guilty party feel better about what they've done and makes the innocent spouse feel crappy for no good reason.
I wouldn't want to learn that my spouse had been cheating on me; I would just want her to stop and not do it again.
2006-12-02 20:25:26 · 19 answers · asked by Hank Hill 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because the guilt eats them up,and they think it's what they have to do to stop feeling bad.This I know from experience.My confession only helped ease my guilt,and that was all it helped.
2006-12-02 20:34:07 · answer #1 · answered by Sabrina C 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What you don't know CAN hurt you. At least a confession would make you stop and think about the next round of sex-did they catch anything?? Did they use protection??
Emotionally, yeah, I agree that it does make the innocent spouse feel crappy, and usually the guilty party also, but it's as it should be.
With confession comes trust. Women absolutely hate it when a guy doesn't tell the 'whole truth.' So, in turn we tell YOU everything, whether you want to hear it or not!
It might be just to get a reaction-because an angry reaction is still better than being ignored. Usually, it's guilt that leads to a confession, we feel better 'getting it out in the open'. But, now we know the spouse is really paying attention, which if they were to begin with, infidelity might never have been a problem.
There is a reason for cheating, usually emotional, and it needs to be confronted, and dealt with, not ignored. You ignore a boiling pot and it's just going to boil over, until there is nothing left.
2006-12-03 04:43:09 · answer #2 · answered by Little Jeannie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When people cheat, does this help the other spouse? Neither telling them about it nor doing it brings happiness to the other. The difference is, if you are going to cheat at least be man enough to fess up to your wrong doings. If you can't stand the heat...the consequences then DON'T participate in the action! Anyone who can cheat on his/her spouse and not feel the need to share it with her/him, doesn't really see the wrong in it - this in itself is a problem!
Anyone that can live a happy life knowing they are withholding these kinds of secrets from their spouse isn't much of a person.
The better solution is DON'T DO IT! When you're married you should handle yourself in manner that is the same with or without your spouse near you. If all marriages followed this, how great things would be...marriage would actually be marriage!!!!
2006-12-03 14:42:55 · answer #3 · answered by Cjs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think some people confess due to their guilty conscience they may have after doing what they did...I think they tell so it can help their decision as to what will happen to the marriage...Also, they tell so that things can get worked out in time in their marriage and try to put some of the guilt on the other spouse.....I think GUILT is the main reason people tell....They are around this person each and everyday and when something is done wrong to someone and you really love them and did not mean to hurt them, they tell it all...Some of the people that confess claims "you kept telling me what I was doing and it made me mad so I did what you accused me of doing?" is what dumb a** will say and tell you to think you will feel like part of them cheating was your fault and you will share the guilt...NNNNNNNNOOOOOOTTTTT!!!!!
2006-12-03 19:51:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. If I had ever cheated on my spouse, I would never be stupid enough to tell him. People who decide to clear their conscience ain't thinking too clearly when they decide to open that can of worms. How could the innocent spouse ever truly trust the cheater again? Anytime you would get into an argument, and you know every couple is going to argue at some point in time, this would become one of the same old same old topics to fight about.
As far as my spouse cheating on me, I agree with you. I really would not want to know, would hope he would stop and never do it again.
2006-12-03 04:35:02 · answer #5 · answered by rosey 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you! They confess to cheating so the feeling of guilt doesn't keep eating them up. I wouldn't want to know if my spouse was cheating.
2006-12-03 04:32:57 · answer #6 · answered by cweetepye 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your spouse wasnt aware of it to begin with just ending it might be the best and not saying anything... but alot of times there are clues that make the spouse question everything ect that is why one should confess
2006-12-03 04:32:09 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex wouldn't tell either, he just got caught. Before that though, he suffered with a medical condition from it. My Dr. asked if he was cheating, and told me that this sort of condition happens when people do. The Dr. was right, it stopped after I kicked him out. LOL I can't remember what they called it, but his heart would be very very fast, and he would have like panic attacks from that. He was put on mild tranquilizers.
2006-12-03 04:30:54 · answer #8 · answered by Fruit Cake Lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called a conscience. Conscience is the secret monitor within man which accuses or excuses him, as he does what he thinks to be wrong or right. The awareness of a moral or ethical aspect to one's conduct together with the urge to prefer right over wrong: Let your conscience be your guide. A source of moral or ethical judgment or pronouncement. A sense of propriety or rightness
2006-12-03 04:28:49 · answer #9 · answered by sonkysst 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its through guilt on their part and to ease their guilty consience - like when they cheat they dont think about the person that they cheat on. Its like they are boasting about it.
But on the other hand would you want all your friends etc to know and you didnt?
2006-12-03 04:46:04 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Claire - Hates Bigotry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋