i have a good friend who i have known for almost my whole life. when i was 12 he gave me my first kiss. since then we have just been great friends but have always loved each other, but maintained our obligations to our religion.
about a month or two ago he approached me with the idea of getting married. he didnt propose... he just asked me if how i felt about this idea. i told him i definitely wasnt opposed but since i am only 18 and he is only 20 we should think about it a little bit more first.
two weeks from that i found out he slept with a someone on one of his business trips. he recently smoked weed. and also, he says that he has come close to having sexual relations with another man.
he claims that he was in a state of depression (both of his parents passed away recently) and that is the only reason these things happened. he is very sorry and wants to make a life together and do right by me.
does anyone think there is anything left to salvage here?
2006-12-02 18:47:52 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
IN OTHER WORDS WHEN PROBLEMS COME UP HE WILL GET STONED AND HUMP EVERYTHING IN HIS WAY.RUN GIRL.
2006-12-02 18:52:40 · answer #1 · answered by flaca 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He can claim whatever he wants, but don't let him lay claim to YOU-ever, no matter what. He's got major problems. You're gonna have enough of your own, don't need to deal with all that crap. I broke it off with my youngest son's father, because of the reason that HE LIKED MEN! No kidding...he said it was because he was molested when he was a kid.
Well, I caught him with a COKE BOTTLE, (SERIOUSLY), and I told him to GET HELP, or GET OUT. So, he left. But I mean, come on...during sex once he looked up at me and said, 'sorry honey, you don't have what it takes, you're not a man.' nooooo kiddding. I think I went numb from the shock! You don't want THAT to happen to you, do ya??? naaaaa....
There are so many COOL GUYS in the world....find one that's not so damn needy, or a blamer like he is-trying to find excuses and reasons for everything he did, and everything he does....
lotsa luck!
2006-12-02 19:22:44 · answer #2 · answered by Little Jeannie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear desperate, this man needs serious help. While he is honest with you, he will also make you miserable. He can not change unless he seeks professional help. He may well turn to any crutch in stressful situations. You can still remain friends; but please keeps your distance. He does not have a deep love for you. He just has known you all his life and is comfortable around you. Try to enjoy your life. You are only young once. You deserve so much more.
2006-12-02 19:21:13 · answer #3 · answered by vennie s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you crazy or what? You are still a baby I no you think your not but when you reach the age of 28 and look back at the life you wasted just because you had nothing better to do at the time.You will hate your self and your so called friend for doing this to you. Don't believe me ,and watch what happens to you.
2006-12-02 19:11:14 · answer #4 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't dated this man with any serious intentions, why would you think it's a good time to start? I would say give it time, but it appears he's full steam ahead to brokeback mountain; and waving goodbye to his senses. What religion? I mean this guy slept with another woman, is toking away on weed, and now claims he might be gay. Honey nothing about that sounds religous to me. Respect yourself.
2006-12-02 19:04:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a lot to say in his behalf. he did come to you and tell you about his indiscretions. that is really a big deal. most men wouldn't say anything until they were caught. and it is possible that the depression from his parents death did cause him to act out in peculiar ways. i think there is a way to salvage this relationship but it will take work and a third party to help guide you both through his depression.
2006-12-02 19:10:08 · answer #6 · answered by beckdawgydawg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are both too young and inexperienced to be talking marriage. He may need to come to terms with his sexuality and I wonder if he is using you because you are "safe" and he can avoid dealing with issues surrounding his sexuality. I do not believe there is much potential here for a good relationship.
2006-12-02 19:06:46 · answer #7 · answered by jom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him when you turn 25 to give you a call ! You need to go to collage and thin get married? If he smoked some weed what is next coke , meth, smack!
2006-12-02 19:06:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, he is not denying his actions which can be good, because he admits that they are a problem. he is only 20 , man are not mature at that age, but if you guys decide to get married i sugest he gets help to work out his problems, that way when you guys get married therewont be any bagage.... good luck and before you are his wife be his friend and listen to him...
2006-12-02 18:58:44 · answer #9 · answered by tjdeya24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is wanted to have sex with a man, I would definitely forget about him. Sooner or later he will have sex with a man, and that turns me off. But it's your life.
2006-12-03 05:00:11 · answer #10 · answered by Beth T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he really need you in his life he does love you he lost his parents
and know he has no one in his life and he is lonely and need some one in his life he is seeking some one to fill that hole in him its like empty feeling not being love bye know one and that why he is doing all of these crazy thing in his life he looking to fill the empty ness in him and i think ounce you do married him you well see a change man. i know i have the empty felling in me i lost my parent to.and my wife.
2006-12-02 19:10:49 · answer #11 · answered by little_bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋