How do i develop my self confidence& my personality ?

Question

I am the only child to my parents as they hv lost their 1st only son. So my mother is very much protective towards me. All these years she has been trying to keep me in a protective shell fearing that she may lose me too.(I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND). The environment i hv grown in has not provided much scope for my proper personality development.I didn't hv much friends to socialise with. Since childhood i have been a very HYPER SENSITIVE,RETICIENT,SENTIMENTAL,ESCAPIST,SENSITIVE IDEALIST,MY SENSITIVENESS IS A KIND OF HOPELESS KIND. II feel a kind of LONELYNESS & EMPTINESS around me.In all these years nobody has ever spoken any good about me & has never boosted my confidence.Everyone seems to be interested in my faults & any misdoings that i have done but nobody cares for whatever good deeds i hv ever done.My cousins are WORLDLY WISE & always make fun of me as i am not one. My thoughts, attitude differs from them. ( i am giving more information ).

When i value a good book they value a trendy dress & give it so much importance & tell me that i have made a mistake by buying a book & that i should have borrowed it from a friend. I had always been very reserved though i had been constant subject 2 countless criticism not only by my cousins but also my school mates,my uncles & aunts & even my dear father. My father loves me a lot i know but doesn't show it at all. But he scolds me daily & heavily for all my mistakes & sometimes surprisingly for his mistakes too he feels i am responsible in some way or the other. Sometimes he says i commit a 100 mistakes so what if he commits one. I AM TIRED OF LISTENING 2 EVERYONE POINTING ME WRONG ALL THESE YEARS. I HV CRIED MANY NIGHTS BUT THERE IS NO ONE 2 UNDERSTAND OR LISTEN 2 ME. My dad thinks i am good for nothing. I admit that am a bit LAZY, T.V & INTERNET addicted but am i that bad 2 be despised all the time by everyone.My patience has leaked now. I get easily angry & throw things plz help!

Answer 1

read the book 'Power of positive thinking'

Answer 2

I think we all feel this way to some extent at some time or other. Maybe you feel more so than some, yet less than others. I wonder if you are depressed to an extent, or if maybe you are still mourning the loss of your brother. i am sorry about your loss. I am sure it must have been hard to lose him, and then also a big strain on your relationship with your parents. It may be that they are mourning still, too, and that is what is going on with them. Is there someone whom you can talk with about it so you can get some advice on how to deal with them? Like a school counselor, teacher, or a priest or minister, or even your family doctor or a trusted friend or relative? Maybe an older cousin that will listen? I hope things work out for you.
I agree - people will always focus on the negatives over the positives.

Answer 3

I am not any authourity, but I think developing personality and confidence are like learning swimming/cycling, in the sense that they can only be learnt practically. If you want to be able to talk to people with confidence, START talking! Don't hide from the world.I am only saying this because I am making a guess about you-if you watch TV, read books, and do a lot of internet, it is like you are hiding from the world.No need for that-the world is not that bad a place!
As for your sensitivity, it is a very good trait, but some people get a thrill out of picking on sensitive people(I do not mean your father).Do not let anyone upset you-try to remain happy as much as you can. If no one boosts your confidence, then do it yourself! Do anything-physical exercise, public speaking, singing, dancing, yoga, anything-just start!You know the saying, "A rolling stone gathers no moss."Another example is that stagnant water will stink, but the river water is always fresh,because it is always in motion!Look for a positive side in everything. In fact, the part where you mention that you choose a book and they say value a dress, it may be an unconcious/indirect indication that you should be more active!Why not take both the book AND the dress?Who says you can't have both? Most mothers are over-protective, but first I think you should have a frank talk with your father. If your cousins/acquaintances are always criticising you, then no need to talk to them. You shouldn't associate with people who undermine your confidence.
Do not feel sad. No need to brood about loneliness, emptiness. Do not feel scared.
Just go out into the world and have fun! When you will genuinely feel happy, then it will show on your face, and that is when your personality develops!Go For It!

Answer 4

hello child,
you should start feeling that you are a perfect person , pse do not bother about criticisms.think +ve start doing some physical exercises like jogging ,swimming.try yoga/meditation etc.you can watch tv for some fixed duration say an hour a day!
eat a lot of veg & fruits avoiding junk food. Have a good time - enjoy life. You will be the most successful/confident person. wish you good luck.

Answer 5

Being Hyper Sensitive is not a good thing, and its quite difficult to change. You will get hurt many times in your life if you are not going to change yourself.

Find a practical friend who can teach you the practicallities and objectivities of life.

I am trying to make one but kya karun (care hi nahin karti).

Answer 6

Get out and talk to people and stop wallowing in self pity.

We all have baggage and need to put it down and move on. I have had chldren and parents die on me...death is a part of life...time to move on, lest you die and never understand happiness.

Look at the people aroundd you. Those that smile and talk of the future look happy, and those who dwell on the miseries of the past and live for the pity of others are unhappy. Take your pick

Answer 7

Develop self-confidence is the part of your belief in God. Belief that you have created the world and everything on this earth is going to yur will and see things. Your self-confidence would develope manifold.
Personality, what do you mean my this world. Is it related with any person. I think so, if it is realated to a person it is called as personality. If it is realted to you, it should be called as you-ality and if the person is Mr. 'x' then it is 'x-ality' not personality. Understand it and grow. See my hands, self-sufficiency is the self-growth and self=growth leads to self confidence and self-personality. and )a big) NOTHING ELSE.

Answer 8

Find hobbies and interests that you enjoy and that you are good at. Get a good education, and consider looking for some spiritual guidance. The source of my confidence is knowing that I am a unique child of God and that Christ died for my sins. "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Phillipians 4:13

Answer 9

hello geeta i m sandeep. i had same problem of confidence but i have remove it . to remove this problem i started make new friends and join a srious community of educated peoples .they was always treid to huck me towards risky work as studay of 24 hours . so i advise u that u join the serious friend and read the good books of increasing confidence. i sure that u will get a +ve result

Answer 10

you can dev elop self confidence by believing to your self to the things that you have done. fell that what you did is correct do not always refer the matter to your mother or to others what you did and if you are wrong stand to be correctedon your personality do not show to your cousins or to other persons that you more superior to them. humnble your self now that you have grown older than ;when you are under the protection of your mother

Answer 11

quite some existence experience facilitates. character is understanding who you're. the 1st step to that's understanding what you like and dislike. The extra you do the extra you recognize. self esteem comes alongside with that of course. you may in contrast to you in case you do no longer understand who you're. i wish each thing works out properly. :^)