will he really leave her or is he pulling my chain?

Question

I went to a party and was introduced to a man who turned out to be a man that i had a year and half relationship with..we broke it off after he had to go out of state for collage..anyway..he now is married and has a year old son....we have been talking alot recently and he has told me how his marriage is going sour and his wife cheated on him with her ex husband and even got prg but got an abortion.We have fallen in love all over again he say he wants me but he has to go through marriage counseling first before he can leave her.He also had a fight with her tuesday nite and called me up after he stormed out of the house...saying how much he loves me and he is not staying with her anymore,not going to counseling anymore.I get a call 1 hour later from him that she called the cops(because he did pull some plants in the front yard and kicked the lights on the walkway) who said that they should go ahead with counseling. Should believe that he will leave her for me if so why the counseling?

They also had a fight the next morning but he said she apologized.What I really want to know is he really going to leave her now when he didint after her affair?I have deep feelings for him..I truly love him and I think he deserves better.

btw we have never been physical we just talk on the phone or online but the only reason i did that is because he said he was going to leave her

I didnt come into this and tell him to leave his wife it was something he said he was ready to do

who would want to stay in a messed up relationship anyway?

plz remember I have not been with him sexual and wont until he get the divorce..im not that type.

Answer 1

he is married, and shouldn't be talking to you about the what ifs, you are both wrong and should know better. he is probably lying anyways, or he would have already left. wouldn't it suck if you were in her shoes, what about their kids? Home wrecker.

Answer 2

You say he deserves better,how do you no what goes on in his house with his wife.You only no what he wants you to no . Think about this have you ever heard of a married man talk about how wonderful his marriage is and his wife is the best wife any man could ask for.Remember this guy was once your boy friend so you are not thinking with a clear head and lets not forget he isn't the same man that you knew before.It's pretty clear this man loves his wife and he doesn't want to leave her.All he is trying to do is find a way to keep you both with out you finding out about one another.Don't let your heart get in the way think with your head and do the right thing here .Don't be the cause of them two to brake up because if you are he will hold that against you in the long run and you will be the one left with the broken heart not him I assure you.

Answer 3

What should have stopped you before all of this was the fact that he's married, period. MARRIED. Couples fight, couples have affairs. That doesn't necessitate that they'll leave each other. Lucky for him, you are just a happy distraction, a convenient coincidence, a wonderful blast from the past with benefits, that has propelled him down what seems to be an emotionally unstable road to before you even came along. If there were holes in the marriage before you, the chinks are wider and leaking for sure now. Just let this man go. Do you want some man who's so mentally inept and so heart-fickle that he doesn't know how to manage the emotional terrain of a marriage, with a child involved even, without having to turn to an affair? If he hasn't shown up at your doorstep with the official divorce decree in hand, asking you for a moratorium on your relationship with him so he can figure out what he really wants, then he's not only pulling your chain, he's pulling his own. Men will tell women anything to keep from having to deal with the often savage and strange landscape of feelings we deal with so effortlessly--he wants you to be happy and keep upping the goods, so he's going to promise you anything. He wants to keep his wife (or at the very least, his assets and his son), so he's going to keep agreeing to come back and go to counseling. So far, it looks like you're 0-3, as in you got dumped before he went to college, as in he actually married someone else after the fact, he's had two "that's it! it's over!" fights with his wife. And you're on Yahoo! Answers asking strangers if he's going to leave her. I think you have your answer, you're just not ready to face it because of your love for him, which has created all this pain and doubt for you. Love shouldn't have to be this complicated, this hurtful. Cut your losses. And your chain.

Answer 4

Okay, look at it this way, if he wanted to be with you so badly, why isn't he? If he wants to leave her why is he going to counseling? Why would he leave his wife for someone that he only communicates with on the phone/online? He is still with her after she cheated on him. He loves her. She has his child. Walk away before you end up with a broken heart. Most (not all) married men don't leave their homes for a fling. The find one that is willing to go for the ride and (as you put it) pull their chain.

Answer 5

He's not going to leave her. Read your own question and think about it.
I've been through these things before.
If he was going to leave her, he would of already. He wouldn't go through the counseling if he wasn't willing to try and work things out.
You need to tell him to call you when it's finally over, like when papers are issued for a divorce and he is moved out.
By the way, maybe she wasn't the one who cheated? Sounds like he has that problem.
Now think about this. If he does leave her and goes to you, you could be in her shoes one day. Would you want someone like you in the picture?

Answer 6

There are two sides to every story and you've only heard his side. I don't think he's going to leave her anytime soon...he would have done it already. Even if he does leave her he should do it when he's ready and not to be with you. It also sounds like they have a lot of unresolved issues to work through. Do you really want to be a part of all that baggage? I know you said you love him but how well do you really know him? People change....you don't really know a person until you actually live with them. Trust your instincts...and do what is right for you...move on!

Answer 7

Ask yourself is you would want to be in her shoes and how he is treating her. If he was going to counseling with her he should not of been talking to you if he wanted it to work. It almost sounds like he is lining up the next one when this marriage fails. I am not telling you it is wrong to fall for him, but he will treat you the same as he treats you. That also means when he gets bored he will be finding someone else to talk to.

Answer 8

You should not do anything that you will regret, like go out with him or have any kind of physical things going on because he may want to just get back at his wife. You could be a pawn in his game. So I suggest that you wait until the ring is legallly off before you do anything or else you might regret it. So my answer is that you should wait....

Answer 9

Run fast and hard. I have been in a relationship 3 years with a married man. Save yourself the heartbreak I wish I had.

Answer 10

Nobody really knows the answer to that except him. But the best thing you can do is prepare yourself for the possibility that he might not. Then if he doesn't leave maybe it won't be such a blow.