i cut/hate myself and i won't let the only person i've ever told help me because i'm to scared. what to do?

Question

the only person i've ever told this to (besides the world right now) is my ex band teacher (the one in my previously posted question) but i won't let him do anything about it even though he wants to because i'm to afraid someone else will find out. mainly my parents. i want to be perfect for them. i feel like such a failure and a dissappointment. he's getting fed up with me & i think i'm just starting to piss him off but he just doesn't understand how badly i don't want anyone to know. i put on such a fake front that i don't think my parents would ever have any idea but i know that if i say one wrong thing he'll tell them even though he promised he wouldn't. & he does try really hard to keep that promise but he wants to say something so bad. i don't want to have to be careful with what i say to him because i just want someone to talk to who will listen to me & not judge me. he doesn't ever judge me but i know he worries & i'm afraid that one day somethings gonna slip. what should i do?

Answer 1

I used to have a true friend who was a cutter. Not because she hated herself or anything, but because she 'wanted the scars.' She is dead now because, one time, she cut far too deep.
I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I'm not your parents. I want to advise you a little, though.
Get some help. Tell someone else. You don't have to tell your parent, though it might help a little more. Keeping this a secret sounds like its making you feel bad about yourself. Please don't go down that road.

Answer 2

This practice of self-hurting comes partly from being punished as a child. When you are young, you don't know what is right and what is wrong. When you do something wrong, a parent gets angry with you, and this feeling makes you feel VERY bad. Then the parent punishes you and from the pain of the spanking you are released and the the parent is happy and good to you again and you feel soo happy.

You must unlearn this process. Cutting yourself or any self harming is dangerous. Please see a counselor for this. Even if it means telling your parents. This can ruin your life if you go on.
Your parents love you no matter what, and if you admit to a problem, they will admire you even more for your courage.

Each night, repeat to yourself aloud the good things that you did that day. Even the tiniest thing. Do not say anything you did that was bad. Just praise yourself for the good and smile and go to sleep. In your day, take every opportunity to help others and to be kind. I don't mean anything big, just kindness.

Always praise youself for it at night so that you can see what a great person you really are!

Answer 3

Hi. You obviously think very highly of this teacher and he obviously cares for you a great deal too. I'm going to try to paint a picture so that you can understand this situation from a different angle. When i fell pregnant at 21 i was living with my best friend and her daughter. I used to harass her constantly with questions about birth etc, such as, 'how painful is it'. She would always say,'i can't explain, its like no other pain you can experience' or 'its like trying to pass a melon'!(nice-not!) It used to bug the hell out of me as I thought surely there's something you can relate it to. But there isn't, it's totally unique in the pain department and it wasn't until i'd had my daughter that i able to accept/understand what she'd been saying. In your situation your teacher has only got what he knows second hand about what you are going through......, either from you or research, tv etc and so all he can do is react according to what he knows, not his own experience. Your teacher is stuck for what to do because he isn't able to give you the answers or support you need and so he's looking for another way to help. He's also scared because he hasn't got the answers. Could you find the courage to make a phone call and talk? No names and no questions, just someone who will listen? I'd like to stay in touch but of course thats up to you, before i go could you maybe try an alternative way of getting out your pain and sorrow? Would you try wearing an elastic band on your wrist, not so tight it cuts of your blood supply !! big enough to go overyour hand but not fall off. Ping this the instant you have an urge, hard or soft as you like... Could you try that? Wishing you all the support you need and stay strong.
P.S. I've put this link down because I found them to be Great when I was at a low point (i suffer from depression ever since i had post natal depression-10yrs ago) I was ready to give up and they were there when no one else was.

http://www.samaritans.org/

Answer 4

teachers are hard to trust....I've been there. I know how hard it is to let anyone know. I believe you. Tell a friend you know you can trust. You can even email me if you'd like. I'm 14 and have been a cutter for two years. I won't judge, I like to listen to others more than I like to talk about myself. Don't give up. Fake smiles are as fragile as glass. You can't control if he tells or not no matter how much you would sacrifice in order to make if forget the whole thing. Keep holding on, maybe if you lied to him, told him how much better you're doing. I don't usually recommend lying....but I know what its like to have your secrets in the hands of someone else. Make sure you tell someone else though. Try to find someone who you really know you can trust. I hope everything turns out all right!

Answer 5

To hurt yourself, is saying, I don't deserve to be loved, I shouldn't be alive. The truth is, God Created you, Because, God knows, you have a very special soul, and a very special job, mission to do in this world.
We are all created with a purpose, and we are here to complete our own individual mission. When life is hard, as it usually is for most of us, this is just a test, a hurdle to get over. When we do get through that test, we get stronger. We go on with our life, and accomplish what we are here to do. Noone, I mean NOONE is here for no reason. We are all connected. We are all here to change the world for good, and to make it a better place. YOU are part of that process.
Each of us has a soul, and that soul within each of us is actually a part of God, which makes us holy, not only spiritually, but also physically. Your body is holy. You need to see yourself in that way, Holy. Would you take anything Holy and destroy it, I'm sure you wouldn't. You are Holy.
It is diffficult to work through difficulties (pain) and make changes. Most of us, need help at different times in our life. Do not be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. It takes some courage to ask, but once we do, it is such a relief and we don't feel alone any longer. Ask for help, you need some help right now, and that's okay.
One day YOU will help someone else, and you will be an amazing giver in helping, as you yourself have had your experiences to look back on and say, hey! I was once there, and thank God, I got passed that, I asked for help, and I got it.
Now, I'm the one that's here to help.
If your parents can be calm and helpful for you to talk with, you can go to them without your friend/teacher. If you think you need your friend to be there too, then go together. The main thing is, get the help you need.
You are a person that is here for a very special reason. You are not here to be in pain,as you are now, and this pain, blocks you from your true purpose.
You need help from a person that is trained to help you with this. You will get through this, but you have to take the first step.
You did confide in your friend, and that was a very big step, take the next step, and go to your parents, tell them you need professional help, from someone that is trained in this . It is not uncommon, but it is dangerous. Make a commitment to do this, for yourself, you are worth it, and for your family, who loves you, and would be in utter despair not to mention guilt, to know that you are in such pain, and they weren't helping you (only because they didn't know).
Remember, you are a child of God, you are precious, and beautiful, and a treasure. You are here for a reason. What great thing, large or small in this world, that you are here to accomplish is so important, that God brought you into this world to accomplish it, without you, the world cannot be complete.

Answer 6

I think you have a sickness, don't be afraid to get some help, there are many people who love and care about you and don't want you to hate or hurt yourself. Like any sickness, treatment starts when you first try to figure out what and why you are doing this to yourself. After you figure out why, then lets figure out someway you can stop and change. Lots of people get down on themselves, its just being human to be weak, vunerable, and scared. Don't be so hard on yourself. God loves you, Jesus loves you, your family loves you. The Yahoo answers community loves you :~). Be strong OK! I will pray for you also.

Answer 7

It is great that you can confide in your teacher but please understand that he is feeling a moral and ethical need to try to help you. Don't let that stop you from talking to him because obviously you need someone to trust, just know that it is putting him in a hard place to be loyal to your secret. As for cutting on yourself, I know that this can lead to serious problems. It is not as uncommon as you may think and you really need to approach your parents and get some help before it gets out of control. If you can't do it alone, then ask your teacher to set up a meeting with you and both of your parents and talk to them then. He can help support you instead of you trying to do it alone, and it will get him out of the difficult situation he is in by trying to keep the secret. Please get help. Some day you will be a grown woman and regret the scars that you have inflicted on your body. Trust me on this, I know.

Answer 8

I am 18 and I used to cut when i was younger. I bet you are so important to so many people. I stopped when my parents found out. They didnt call it cutting. They called it self mutilation. That made me sick. I've dealt with depression my whole life, and I don't think I've ever been comfortable or safe. But you and i both have to do the best we can with what we were dealt. I do hope that you get help. Sometimes we are not strong enough to overcome the feelings of self hatred and hopelessness, particularly when times are especially shitty. Thank god for modern medicine. I've learned that everyone who truly loves me has me best interest in mind, and right now, your parents do. and you need them. God bless you bby.

Answer 9

OOhh honey,
Please listen to him and me. I am 36 and I have cut,attempted sucicide. Hiding the things that your are make you worse, you worrie about them seeing your cuts. Always hiding. You have someone that you say that you trust PLEASE listen to him. I have gotten help and I am not going to lie to you it is HARD but worth every minute that I was there. You are hiding more than the cuts there is something in you that you need to let out.
Stop hurting yourself and start letting things that bother you out. Your parents will love you no matter what, your parents will want to help you. Your are NOT a failure and deffently not a dissapointment!! I am sure that they love you with all of there hearts. You need to trust them, talk to the one of your parents that your closer with or have a meeting with parents and your ex-band teacher for your support.
PLEASE GET HELP!!
I will have you in my prayers

Answer 10

don't hate or cut urself u don't have any reason to and think about it do u wanna go on doing this for the rest of ur life u can stop if u really want to y don't u try joinign stuff to keep you busy and happier go ut and make and hang otu w/ ur friends and since u do hate urself it's nto ur fault t's how ur parents treat u so know tht u have no reason to i hope everything gets better and i'll pray 4 u and thnx for ur answer btw