I have come tp the realization that I am too kind to those who hurt me. I have been in a lot of bad relationships where the men do the most unimaginably hurtful and harmful things to me. And I still stay kind and forgive them, over and over again.
I want to know how to stop that. I hate that they wont leave me alone, but I don't want to hurt them either. Is it possible to do that? And how can I go about that? Thanks!
2006-12-02 16:56:07 · 12 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It sounds like you may have some self-esteem issues. You shouldn't allow this kind of thing to happen to you. Perhaps some guidance from a counselor of some kind would be good for you.
2006-12-02 17:00:22 · answer #1 · answered by Paul H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to realize somewhere along the way that a relationship is a give and take affair. If all you do is give, and give in, then it isn't an equitable partnership.
It sounds as if your self esteem and ego both need a fairly large injection of backbone, and that you need to come to the realization that your needs must be met to the same degree you meet the needs of others before you're really going to be happy with yourself, and your life.
If there is a way for you to afford or take advantage of counselling then I'd suggest it.
That you don't want to be a burden, or needy is noteworthy, but it isn't working out so well for you. Keep in mind that you can only be taken advantage of if you allow it to happen.
Best of luck.
2006-12-02 17:05:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe extra uncomplicated so you might recover from this all, in case you may see issues how he does?, adult males are distinctive thinkers, emotionally distinctive additionally. What you may think of what he's questioning isnt the case. the only thank you to recover from all of it, is to ignore approximately him and each thing that has something to do with him, attempt no longer analyzing his facebook comments, or observing him communicate and text textile yet another person could help, you may replace the entire concern to being purely a chum, a normal hi, etc yet maybe no longer till at last you're no longer hurting as such. Your see issues distinctive as quickly as you end questioning for the different person. He broke up with you, he instructed you the reason, settle for that, and if or for besides the fact that different reason it could quite have been, is none different than his motives, one you may in no way understand or extra constructive could in no way choose to understand, think of of it useful, you have been his first gf, he of course enjoyed you sufficient to be with you for that length of time, its over now, do no longer survive it, you would be ok:) you sound sensible. think of for the extra constructive do no longer enable your thoughts override your techniques.
2016-10-17 15:30:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I am sorry to hear about your hurt. This will work for you. Picture this........Pretend that you are holding a newborn bay in the middle of a terrible tornado. Well.......you are covering the infant and shielding it from danger. Do the same thing to your own heart. Use your gut and don't trust people so easily from now on. Protect your heart like you are protecting the infant.
2006-12-02 17:01:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never let anyone change who you are, especially if it would be changing a good quality. Rather, stay away from people who bring you down. Anyone who would freely hurt or harm you has no place in your life. So...put your past behind you and focus on the future. Kindness is your gift, share it with people who appreciate your gift.
2006-12-02 17:08:45 · answer #5 · answered by lifeizgud 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand, I am excatly the same, but there does come a time when you have to stand up for yourself, do not waste another minute, head back, chin up, take no moreeeeeeeeeee.
2006-12-02 17:01:17 · answer #6 · answered by Little Naughty Rascal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not stop being kind. After awhile your enemies will be stunned on how nice you are to them compared to how mean they are to you.
2006-12-02 17:00:23 · answer #7 · answered by James W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
ALL THE TIME
ITIS YOUR GUT FELLING
AND IF YOU GO WITH IT YOU WILL BE RIGHT 99.9% OF THE TIME
YOUR GUT FELLING IS RIGHT MOST OF THE TIME------------------------------------------- ALL OF THE TIME IT IS RIGHT
IF I DONT USE IT ABOUT PEOPLE MY WIFE SAID NOT TO HELP SOMEONE TO MOVE
AND I DID AND I WENT TO JAIL FOR HELPING THEM MOVE
TRY IT YOU WILL FIND OUT YOU CAN NOT GO WRONG WITH IT
2006-12-02 17:21:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are generous person, and God will bless you - the cheaters will go to the Hell automatically
2006-12-02 17:01:06 · answer #9 · answered by Neighbour 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I feel the same as you...any tips from anyone? Help us out.
2006-12-02 19:24:54 · answer #10 · answered by graduation_girl2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋