My finace told me tonight that he isnt sure that we should get married even though we love each other. He isnt sure that its right, because he is a mess. He seems to be worried about money....but maybe its just that he decided he doesnt love me or found someone he wants instead. What should I do?
2006-12-02 16:34:07 · 10 answers · asked by mischievous 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not that I want to push him to marry me, I dont want to be maried to someone who wasnt even sure. It's more a question of should I end it now (which is what I am leaning towards), or could he really love me even if he doesnt want to marry me? I think that if he loved me it wouldnt be a question, he would know the answer.
2006-12-02 17:43:52 · update #1
If you are unsure of his love, committment or intentions, do not proceed with the marriage. Marriage is one thing you should be 100% sure of.
2006-12-02 16:38:04 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
u have no choice but to honor his decision, to force the issue could hurt u even more. if he really loved u money would't matter to him, nothing would matter. he is making up excuses, think he has met someone else, that's why he is so unsure and he feels as if he is a mess, he feels he is in a mess and doesn't really want to hurt u, so this is his way out of it without being mean and hurtful, he is blaming it on himself. just honor it, and see what happens the more u want explanations the farther he will move away from u, cause odviously he isn't ready to tell u the real reasons.
2006-12-03 00:41:28 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't do you any good to try to force something that he isn't comfortable with for whatever reason. I would say discuss with him and between the two of you a date when he needs to give you an answer about marriage that he will stick to no matter what. It's just like having babies, if you waited till you were absolutely ready you'd never do it. he will always have a reason not to get married.
2006-12-03 00:47:43 · answer #3 · answered by Theresa P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think things are bad now, it doesn't get easier when you get married. It is easy to say "Leave Him" to than to do it, but in a marriage both people need to be strong in order for it to work. Money comes and goes, love is forever. If he is obsessing about money now, what about when you have bills to pay together as a married couple? Sorry honey, Leave him.
2006-12-03 00:43:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anjali U 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you try to go to counseling? I wouldn't marry him until you are sure that he wants to move forward. See what you can do to help him out with whatever problems he is having. If you show him that you can be there for him no matter what happens then maybe he will see that you are the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
2006-12-03 00:45:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, find out the real reasons. It's better to face the truth now then later. You don't want to marry for the wrong reason.
2006-12-03 00:44:58 · answer #6 · answered by Rebornie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do you want to be with someone that does not want the same things you do. if he says he is not ready believe him just take your time be happy and take one day at a time.
2006-12-03 00:39:56 · answer #7 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Worry about money with him. It's probably you that is causing the problem.
Don't believe me? Then live with the consequences.
2006-12-03 00:37:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is not sure than don't push him. its better to break up now then have your marriage end in divorce. i'm sorry about your pain. i hope all ends well for you.
2006-12-03 00:39:41 · answer #9 · answered by jmd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
true love never calculate, wait and see
2006-12-03 00:40:53 · answer #10 · answered by Neighbour 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋