Today we found some tumors on my dog that we have had for 11 years. My family is really hurting because we know with his age and the history of the medical problems my dog has had he most likely will have to be put to sleep. One of my best friends seen my brother at the local store and he asked my brother what is wrong cause I wasn't at the game night my group of friends and I normally have every weekend on Saturday. My brother told him that i was at home really upset and spending some time with my dog before the dreadful day comes my best friend looked at him and told my brother "I take of the dog for you and put him out of his missery with my 22" I am pissed that he took and said that I have not talked to him at all about it but my mother has said that he is not welcomed at our home any more because of that statement. How do you think i should handle this problem with him. And do u think i have all the right to be pissed at him.
2006-12-02 15:49:15 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Your friend was extremely insensitive. His comment was totally inappropriate, so much so, I have to ask why would he say something like that? Do you know if he has ADD? Maybe he was trying to impress your brother and totally missed the mark. People with ADD will do this. Talk to him. He may feel really bad about it and may have regreted the words as soon as they left his mouth.
2006-12-02 16:05:11 · answer #1 · answered by graff_monster@sbcglobal.net 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of course you have a right to your feelings. However, they may not be very productive. Your friend was insensitive, sure, but at some point everyone is insensitive. He probably felt he was trying to be helpful, and was unsure what to say, and inadvertantly said almost the worst thing. I don't suppose you've ever done anything like that? If this was an isolated incident, I'd let him know that I was hurt, but I don't think I'd end the friendship over it. Friends are few and far between, and friendship always calls for a good dose of forgiveness and being the "bigger person".
I'm sorry to hear about your dog, by the way. I just had to put my dog to sleep for the same reason two weeks ago, and I heard almost exactly the same comment from someone.. my mother. I was mad and glared at her and said "no," and then took my dog to the vet. Then I got over it. I come from a farm family, and that's simply what farm folk do, because vets are expensive and there isn't usually a lot of extra money on a farm to spend on things like that.
So yes, you have a right to be angry and hurt. You also have the freedom to either be defined by those emotions or to choose a course of action that may bring about healing for you and your friend, because carrying a grudge is almost always more painful than moving to reconciliation.
2006-12-02 15:58:11 · answer #2 · answered by Tomteboda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think your friend is just childish and was not taught to be caring or have empathy for others. It is likely that his parents were not loving, caring people. From his comment, he sounds like he is from a "hillbilly" area of the USA. No offense, but that is just the mindset of some people from the poor small towns in middle America.
Do you have the right to be upset? Of course. All your feelings, thoughts are normal and OK. Just remember that you need to be the mature one because he obviously is not. Sorry about your dog. I know it can be very hard to let go of a pet that you've had a long time. Just be sure his end is comfortable and do not hold onto him so long that he is in pain. It is better to let him go with peace and dignity.
2006-12-02 15:55:52 · answer #3 · answered by Roger S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you're not pissed at your friend you said you are sad about your dog try to remain focused on that after the mourning period is over you can consider wether you want to get a 22 and take your "friend" out of his misery
I think if you consider how awkward people are about comforting each other in times of crisis you will see that your friend was by no means trying to hurt you and sharing the response you would like might improve the odds that your friend will be more sensitive in the future
think of what you can do with the money now that you don't have to buy a 22
2006-12-02 15:57:27 · answer #4 · answered by aubry 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree you have every right to be upset. As a dog owner, I feel that my dog is apart of my family. I think when you are ready you should tell him how his comments made you feel. Even if he doesn't understand, or apologize you would at least have your feelings off your chest. It's not good to hold all your emotions inside, or hold a grudge.
2006-12-02 16:17:43 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a animal lover my self , but I wouldn't get pissed because I have done the same thing took a dog off in the woods and put him down as well for my friends animals. But you need to talk to him and explain how you feel, he probably wasnt saying it to be mean. I think you and your mom needs to let him explain himself. But I hope you and your friend work it out.
2006-12-02 16:00:07 · answer #6 · answered by Marlboro M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The guy thinks he is a higher life form than a dog. Anyone that stupid should be taken out and shot. Teach the dog to do it.
2006-12-02 16:43:39 · answer #7 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People that don't have indoor pets really don't understand the relationship people have with them. He was just being immature. I don't think you should hold this against him. I would just explain how his statement made you feel and I am sure he would apologize and think seriously about what he said.
2006-12-02 15:59:55 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes you have the right to be pissed...thats your dog and you love him and you dont want him to be put to sleep and even worse shot......he had no right to say that....but most people try and be funny or maybe he was nervous ...some people dont know how to handle sensative situations like that......like i always say.."forgive them for their stupidity"...it might not be easy...but no person is worth being angry for the rest of your life...talk to him...ask him why he said that....just confront him in as nice a way as possible....just tell him how you feel and get things off your chest...tell him that he had no right to say the things he said.......just tell him how you feel and tell him like it is...hope all goes well and sorry for your loss.....(i know what your going through).....good luck...and if you need to talk..im here...babyxdollx666@yahoo.com.....hope all goes well..:)
2006-12-02 15:55:58 · answer #9 · answered by byrdie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I guess this "FRIEND" of yours just doesn't care...........and yes u DO have the right to b mad at him..he should understand how much your dog means to you..and if he can't then maybe he's not your real friend
2006-12-02 16:09:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋